Quark (TV Series)

All the Emperor's Quasi-Norms: Part 1 (1978)

Richard Kelton: Ficus

Photos 

Quotes 

• Betty : And Ficus, bring her flowers for her dress.

  Ficus : Bring her flowers? Why, that would be a sin.

  Betty : But Ficus, flowers are so romantic.

  Ficus : To YOU they are romantic. To a Vegeton a flower is a blood brother. Why, my pinning a flower to a woman's gown would be like you strapping a lamb chop to your dress.

• Ficus : Are you saying that Princess Libido is exhibiting that condition which you animals refer to as romanic affection at initial visual perception?

  Adam Quark : Yes Ficus, love at first sight.

• Ficus : As a Vegeton I remain cool and crisp even while being crushed by walls.

• Ficus , Princess Libido : Beebeebeebeebeebee

  Ficus : Is it good for you?

  Princess Libido : I think so. Is this what you Vegetons find pleasurable?

  Ficus : It would appear so.

  Princess Libido : What do we do next?

  Ficus : We wait for the bee.

• Gene : We'll teach those guys a lesson they'll never forget, right commander?

  Adam Quark : Sure Gene. Ficus, have you got a reading on that ship, yet?

  Ficus : It would appear they are approximately ten times bigger than we are, have six photon death rays, and a deflector shield which our weapons cannot penetrate.

  Adam Quark : Our weapons cannot penetrate?

  Ficus : Sir, we couldn't interrupt a small dinner party on that ship.

  Adam Quark : Bettys, turn the ship around.

  Gene : Commander, but you said we would teach 'em a lesson!

  Adam Quark : I think they've learned their lesson.