Penn & Teller: Bullshit! (TV Series)

P.E.T.A. (2004)

Penn Jillette: Self - Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• Penn Jillette : Shows like this? What shows like this? Is HBO running a show like horse shit or crock of shit? What other shit shows are out there? We rule shit.

• [introduction of the episode; Penn & Teller are standing next to a bull] 

  Penn Jillette : We're not gonna tease or abuse the bull. He doesn't have a cute name like Elsie, or Moo-Moo, or Heiferlips. His name is Dave. Nothing funny about that. We wouldn't do anything to this animal that we wouldn't do to ourselves.

  [Penn applies a branding iron to Teller's right buttock] 

  Self - Host : [off-camera]  MOTHER-FUCKER! Ohhh... ..

  Penn Jillette : Hey! Cool, Dave, he *can* talk!

• Penn Jillette : The PETA you don't know would outlaw fishing, circuses, dog shows, horseback riding and zoos. They even oppose using service animals like eye-dogs for the blind. Fucking blind bastards torturing those dogs! In PETA, there's no room for Kentucky Fried Chicken, or the Kentucky Derby. See you, Shamu! And forget about smearing honey all over your fuck buddy, because even bees are persecuted by the man. And pets are forbidden in PETA's world too. That's right! No pets. Hey all you pet lovers who donate to PETA, feel like a sucker yet?

• Penn Jillette : Ethical means *moral* or *proper* which differs for every person, it's something to discuss. It's not an absolute. It just sounds nice, it's like 'pro-choice' *and* 'pro-life', I mean- c'mon! Everyone is pro-choice and pro-life. It's for or against *abortion* that your group is about. And who *wouldn't* wanna treat animals ethically, anyway. Nobody gets off slapping their monkey or choking their chicken or roughing up their clam.

• Jerry Vlasak : I think that violence and non-violence are not moral principles - they're tactics.

  Penn Jillette : WHAT?

  Jerry Vlasak : Violence and non-violence are not moral principles - they're tactics.

  Penn Jillette : Sweet evil Jesus! WHAT DID HE SAY?

  Jerry Vlasak : Violence and non-violence are not moral principles - they're tactics.

  Penn Jillette : Ethical, my achin' ass!