Party of Five (TV Series)
Pilot (1994)
Lacey Chabert: Claudia Salinger
Photos
Quotes
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[Charlie and Claudia are trying to arm up the tent]
Charlie Salinger : Ow! That's my thumb!
Claudia Salinger : Sorry.
Charlie Salinger : No, Claud, Claud, don't let that go!
Claudia Salinger : Don't yell at me. I'm trying
Charlie Salinger : I know. Okay. Just pull the string back.
Claudia Salinger : Okay. I'm pulling. I'm pulling!
Charlie Salinger : And I'll snap this. There we are.
[both laugh, and the tent is finally up]
Claudia Salinger : Pretty neat, huh?
Charlie Salinger : Yeah, not too shabby.
Claudia Salinger : Now all I have to do is move my sleeping bag in, and one side can be my bedroom, and the other'll be my living area. I might even invite you over for dinner one night.
[they laugh again]
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[first lines]
Claudia Salinger : [at a used car lot] Owen, what do you think? Wow! She's a beauty.
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Charlie Salinger : Julia!
Claudia Salinger : She's kind of busy. I wouldn't interrupt...
Charlie Salinger : Julia, would you get down here? Julia!
[Julia arrives]
Julia Salinger : What the hell are you screaming about?
Charlie Salinger : Family conference, now!
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Charlie Salinger : Claudia?
Bailey Salinger : What's the matter, Claud?
Claudia Salinger : I'm scared.
Bailey Salinger : Don't be.
Charlie Salinger : We'll work it out.
Claudia Salinger : [crying] This wouldn't have happened if Mom and Dad were here. Why aren't they here?
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Claudia Salinger : Forget it. You can't tell me what to do.
Charlie Salinger : Oh, yes, I can. Read the guardianship agreement.
Bailey Salinger : Oh, would you shut up with that already, Charlie? A piece of paper does not make you a parent.
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[last lines]
Julia Salinger : So, what's this Kirsten like?
Bailey Salinger : She's very professional.
Julia Salinger : Yeah?
Bailey Salinger : Highly qualified.
Claudia Salinger : And a real looker, huh?
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[Claudia comes into the kitchen after seeing Kirsten taking care of Owen, and starts questioning Bailey]
Claudia Salinger : Who's that?
Bailey Salinger : That's Kirsten.
Claudia Salinger : Uh-huh. Kirsten what?
Claudia Salinger : Okay. What are her qualifications?
Bailey Salinger : She's a nanny.
Claudia Salinger : What's her criminal record?
Bailey Salinger : She doesn't have one... I don't think.
Claudia Salinger : Bailey, what's your problem? How can you turn Owen over to a total stranger? I mean, I know you're desperate, but
[she shuts up when Kirsten comes in with Owen]
Kirsten Bennett : Hello! You must be Claudia.
[to Bailey]
Kirsten Bennett : Listen, Owen was a dream, and the Jeep runs great. You sure you don't mind me driving it to school every night?
Bailey Salinger : It's yours. That's the deal.
Kirsten Bennett : Well, somebody needs his diaper changed.
[she goes to change Owen's diapers]
Bailey Salinger : [to Claudia] Now I remember. She's in grad school. Child psychology. Two years teaching preschool plus three nanny jobs with recommendations.
Claudia Salinger : You gave her the Jeep?
Bailey Salinger : Plus $75 less a week. Two birds with one stone. Plus I get driving privileges. Pretty smart, huh?
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[Charlie, Bailey, Owen, and Claudia enter the restaurant]
Bailey Salinger : All I'm saying is, is there's no way we're going to make the next 15,000 bucks last four months if all of us are writing checks.
Charlie Salinger : And leasing Jeeps.
Claudia Salinger : I like the Jeep.
Bailey Salinger : My point is, is that I could have swung the jeep and the phone bill and the plumber and everything if I'd known what everyone else was spending.
Waitress : Hi, guys.
Bailey Salinger : Hi.
Charlie Salinger : That's not the problem, Bailey.
Bailey Salinger : Yes, it is.
Charlie Salinger : No, it's not. The problem is we've got 35 bucks left in our account.
[they see Joe approaching to them]
Joe Mangus : Hey, if it isn't the Salinger clan, right on time Where does the week go?
Bailey Salinger : Hey, Joe. Is Julia here?
Joe Mangus : Haven't seen her.
[to Claudia]
Joe Mangus : Claudia, leave room for dessert. I got your dad's mud pie.
Claudia Salinger : Great.
[he leaves]
Charlie Salinger : Face it, Bay. It's a mistake to hand you guys the next four-month chunk all at once. Not when you don't know how to make it last.
[they sit on the table]
Bailey Salinger : Oh, really, Mr. "Can You Spot Me 20 Till I Get A Job"?
Claudia Salinger : Where is she?
Charlie Salinger : Look, I'll go to the bank tomorrow and I'll get 2,500, but that's gotta last you till the end of the month. That's the way we're gonna do it from now on, one month at a time.
Bailey Salinger : Wait a second. Since when is that your decision?
Charlie Salinger : As the executor of the estate, Mr. Graham worked it so that I'm the legal guardian.
Bailey Salinger : Yeah, on paper. You're our legal guardian on paper, Charlie.
Claudia Salinger : And only because someone had to be.
Charlie Salinger : The fact of the matter is, is you guys have spent practically every cent you've got. It's true, Bailey. I'm not blaming you. I mean, what do a bunch of kids know about managing money, huh?
Claudia Salinger : Are we in trouble? Bailey?
Charlie Salinger : Look, Mr. Graham gives me the check three times a year, so it's up to me to say how the money's doled out. I'm, I'm sorry, guys. That's just the way it is.