Monty Python's Flying Circus (TV Series)

How to Recognise Different Parts of the Body (1970)

Graham Chapman: Second Bruce, Raymond Luxury Yacht, Mr. Irrelevant, First Pepperpot, Son, Inspector Zatapathique

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mrs. #1 : Well, what's on the television then?

  Mrs. #2 : Looks like a penguin.

  Mrs. #1 : No no no no, I didn't mean what's on the television set, I meant what program...

  Mrs. #2 : Oh

  [goes over and turns the set on, sits back down] 

  Mrs. #2 : Funny that penguin being there, isn't it. What's it doing there?

  Mrs. #1 : Standin'!

  Mrs. #2 : I can see that!

  Mrs. #1 : If it lays an egg, it will fall down the back of the television set.

  Mrs. #2 : We'll have to watch that... Unless it's a male.

  Mrs. #1 : Whew, I never thought of that.

  Mrs. #2 : Yes. It looks fairly butch.

  Mrs. #1 : Per'aps it comes from next door.

  Mrs. #2 : [yelling]  PENGUINS DON'T COME FROM NEXT DOOR, THEY COME FROM THE ANTARCTIC!

  Mrs. #1 : [even louder]  BURMA!

  [they both stop short, looking around] 

  Mrs. #2 : Why'd you say Burma?

  Mrs. #1 : I panicked.

  Mrs. #2 : Oh. Per'aps it's from the zoo.

  Mrs. #1 : Which zoo?

  Mrs. #2 : [angrily]  How should I know which zoo, I'm not Doctor bloody Bernofsky!

  Mrs. #1 : 'ow does Doctor Bernofsky know what zoo it came from?

  Mrs. #2 : He knows everything.

  Mrs. #1 : Oooh, I wouldn't like that, it would take the mystery out of life... Anyway, if came from the zoo, it'd have "property of the zoo" stamped on it.

  Mrs. #2 : No it wouldn't! They don't stamp animals "property of the zoo"! You couldn't stamp a huge lion!

  Mrs. #1 : [confidently]  They stamp them when they're small.

• Fourth Bruce : Michael Baldwin, this is Bruce. Michael Balwin, this is Bruce. And Michael Baldwin, this is Bruce.

  First Bruce : Is your name not Bruce, then?

  Michael Balwin : No, it's Michael.

  Second Bruce : That's gonna cause a little confusion.

  Third Bruce : Yeah. Mind of we call you Bruce, just to keep it clear?

• Third Bruce : Blimey, it's hot in here, Bruce.

  First Bruce : Hot enough to boil a monkey's bum.

  Second Bruce : That's a strange expression, Bruce.

  First Bruce : Well, Bruce, I heard the Prime Minister use it. "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum in here, Your Majesty," he said.

• [after a penguin explodes on the TV set] 

  First Pepperpot : [referring to the TV Announcer]  How did he know that was going to happen?

  TV Announcer : It was an inspired guess. And now...

  [Cut to picture of shin] 

  Voice-over : [with superimposed arrow pointing at shin]  Number twenty-three - the shin.

  [Cut to picture of Reginald Maudling] 

  Voice-over : [with superimposed arrow pointing at shin]  Number twenty-four - Reginald Maudling's shin.

  [Cut to an open-head picture] 

  Voice-over : [with superimposed arrow pointing at brain]  Number twenty-five - the brain.

  [Cut to picture of Margaret Thatcher] 

  Voice-over : Number twenty-six - Margaret Thatcher's brain.

  [Superimposed arrow points at Margaret Thatcher's knee] 

  Voice-over : [Cut to a fairly wide still picture of cricket match in progress. Batsman, bowler, ring of fielders all have polka-dotted Bermuda shorts. Little arrows point to each pair of Bermuda shorts] 

  Voice-over : Number twenty-seven - more naughty bits.

  [Cut to picture of the cabinet at a table. Arrows point down below the table to their naughty bits] 

  Voice-over : Number twenty-eight - the naughty bits of the Cabinet.

  [Cut to studio shot of the next set] 

  Voice-over : [with superimposed arrow pointing from the top]  Number twenty-nine - the interior of a country house.