Magnum, P.I. (TV Series)
The Eighth Part of the Village (1982)
Tom Selleck: Thomas Magnum
Photos
Quotes
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Magnum : [narrates] Fate has a nasty way of popping up and waving its long, bony finger under your nose. Sometimes it's a squeaker at 70 miles an hour. Sometimes it's a plane you missed that never makes it back from the Bermuda Triangle. But whatever it is, you always get the message: it's time to stop taking your good luck for granted.
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Magnum : Higgins, none of this is normal. I mean, she jumped out of a crate!
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[Magnum is mowing the lawn at the estate. Higgins approaches with the dogs, scowling. The dogs bark at Magnum]
Magnum : [smiles] Morning, Higgins. Guys. Something wrong?
Higgins : [annoyed] Simply put, you are not qualified for this work.
Magnum : Gee, Higgins, I don't think that's very nice. Look at my rows. They're even, they overlap. I know how to mow a yard.
[Higgins bends and picks up some lawn stems]
Higgins : To the untrained eye, this may appear to be just another suburban lawn. But for your information, we are standing on a scientifically formulated carpet of bahía, Kentucky bluegrass and an African zoysia. One doesn't just mow it.
Magnum : Gee, Higgins. I was just trying to do you a favor.
Higgins : [takes the lawn mower] I hope it can be saved. You were cutting at least 30 degrees against the grain.
[Higgins walks away with the lawn mower. Magnum walks next to him, pushing the wheelbarrow in front of him]
Higgins : Favor?
Magnum : Well, I just figured it was time I paid back some of the favors that I owe everybody. Even the score, balance my karma. You know what I mean?
Higgins : Assuming you had some grasp of a subtle Eastern concept like karma...
Magnum : I'm serious, Higgins. Make me a list of the favors that I owe you, and I'll take care of them.
Higgins : [impatiently] I already have a list. What I don't have is a reason to believe you.
Magnum : You know that case I had last week? The guy from Maui who couldn't live unless I found his wife for him, you remember?
Higgins : Really, Magnum, I'm not interested in listening to another of your tawdry divorce cases.
Magnum : Well, I found her. In some kootch joint on Hotel Street. It was a heart-warming reunion.
[Magnum and Higgins place the tools in a storeroom]
Magnum : She had a gun, he had a gun and, I had the hiccups for about six hours after the shooting.
Higgins : A case of hiccups is hardly a revelation.
Magnum : No, no, I'm serious, Higgins, I'm serious. There I was, right between 'em, and I didn't get a nick. I think it was... some kind of gypsy's warning.
Higgins : [mockingly] Karma, gypsy warning. I suppose your horoscope clinched it.
Magnum : Not my horoscope. This.
[Magnum shows Higgins a fortune cookie, not very fresh]
Higgins : [winces in disgust] Good God, that's horrible. What is it?
Magnum : It's a fortune cookie that I got from some takeout Sichuan food after the shooting.
Higgins : I thought you had the hiccups.
Magnum : Just read the fortune.
[Higgins takes the cookie, takes out the note and reads it aloud]
Higgins : "A man of good fortune repays his reward". I agree. That's quite a coincidence.
[Higgins hands the cookie back to Magnum. Magnum places the note back inside the cookie]
Higgins : Magnum, are you serious about this? I mean, it isn't one of your silly attempts to extract some favor from me, is it?
[Magnum kisses the cookie, then raises his right hand]
Magnum : I swear.
Higgins : There is an errand you might be perfectly qualified to perform.
[Higgins hands Mangum a bill of lading]
Magnum : Thank you.
[Higgins sighs and rolls his eyes, as if saying "I know I am going to regret that"]
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Magnum : [narrating, re Asani] She was a puzzle inside a riddle tied up with a question mark.
