Photos
Quotes
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Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : [Describing a would-be handyman, while Margaret, with severe prickly heat, is rubbing her behind against the edge of a table] ...With a skin tight T-shirt with the sleeves cut off, better looking than Errol Flynn. She's only human, you know. First it's the gutters, then he says, "Is there anything else I can do, Mrs. Hunnicut?" And she says, "Well for starters, you can call me Peg".
[stares at Margaret]
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : [Follows B.J.'s glance towards Margaret, then turns back to nurse] Some fun, huh, Joanne? Over here we got a guy who's losing his marbles, and over there, a woman who's slipping on them.
[Margaret stops dead]
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Klinger : Anything I can do to help?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : Yeah, get on the phone and tell I-CORPS to get a helicopter out here first thing in the morning.
Klinger : The colonel's the only one who can authorize that.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : So get him to authorize it.
Klinger : Yes, sir.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : And as soon as you do that, get over to B.J.'s house and clean out his gutters.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : They said "join the army and see the world", so here I am in Korea, removing Chinese metal from an American soldier in a Turkish bath. How are you doing, giggles?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : [Bitterly] How should I be doing?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : You'll have to excuse Andry Grump, ladies, he can't get his mind out of the gutter.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I don't believe this. How many times are you gonna read that letter from Peg?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : What difference does it make to you?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : I was finally almost asleep. Luckily, you turned the light on again so I could watch myself wake up.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : I'm sorry. I'm not sleepy.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce : So we have to stay up all night playing "Turkey in the Oven." I lie here roasting, and you keep turning on the light to see if I'm done.
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Capt. Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce : What do you say, Beej? You starting to cool off?
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Well, a little.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce : That's the ticket. There's really nothin' to worry about, you know? Peg's a big girl. One way or another your gutters will get cleaned out, and everything will be just fine.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Yeah, she'll take care of it.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce : Sure.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : [chuckles] Probably better than if I were there to help. I'm sure she's becoming more self-sufficient all the time.
Capt. Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce : Yeah.
Capt. B.J. Hunnicut : Matter of fact, by now, she probably gets along just fine without me. I might as well just stay away altogether! What the hell does she need me for anyway?
Capt. Benjamin Franklin Hawkeye Pierce : You are a complete and total jerk! No wonder Peg is leaving you.