Leave It to Beaver (TV Series)
The Haunted House (1959)
Jerry Mathers: The Beaver
Photos
Quotes
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The Beaver : [Beaver had some misconceptions about Miss Cooper, which are now resolved] Dad?
Ward Cleaver : Yeah?
The Beaver : How come people sometimes think people are things that they aren't?
Ward Cleaver : Oh. Well, Beaver, sometimes we don't take time to figure things out for ourselves. We make up our minds on the basis of, uh, rumors and first impressions.
[pause while Beaver reflects]
Ward Cleaver : If they happen to be wrong, then WE'RE wrong, too.
The Beaver : Like when Larry said you find babies in the trash can?
Ward Cleaver : Uh, yeah, something like that.
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[Wally tries to convince The Beaver not to be afraid of an old house in their neighborhood]
The Beaver : Some of the guys says it's really haunted.
Wally Cleaver : Now, how do they know?
The Beaver : Other guys told 'em.
Wally Cleaver : Look, Beaver, so long as I can ever remember nobody's ever lived there.
The Beaver : I know. That's what a ghost is. A nobody. Larry Mondello's a-scared of the house, too.
Wally Cleaver : Aaaawh, that's 'cause you're both a couple-a babies.
The Beaver : Larry weighs a hundred and nine pounds!
Wally Cleaver : All right, all right, so he's a big baby.
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The Beaver : Wally, if there's no such of a thing as ghosts and witches, then how come they got names for 'em?
Wally Cleaver : Well, they used to have 'em, long time ago, like, uh, like Anne Boleyn.
The Beaver : Who's she?
Wally Cleaver : Well, she's this real neat ghost we had in school. She started out to be a girl, and then turned into a ghost because this king went and chopped her head off.
The Beaver : Wow!
Wally Cleaver : Now she's gotta walk around in this tower they got over there in England. She's gotta carry her head under her arm.
The Beaver : Does it wobble when she puts it on her neck?
Wally Cleaver : I don't know. We haven't studied that far.
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Larry Mondello : I bet we got the only schoolhouse in the world with a haunted house on the way home from it.
The Beaver : For two whole days Wally once had a dead horse.
Larry Mondello : That's not half as good as a haunted house.
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The Beaver : Wally, what's that?
Wally Cleaver : I found it. I'm making a handball glove.
The Beaver : Oh, can I have the fingers?
Wally Cleaver : Well, what do you want the fingers for? They're no good.
The Beaver : Well, I could carry them around. Not every guys got a pocket full of fingers.