What happens in a mashup involving one "Hogan's Heroes" writer, Richard Powell, who never took this World War Two situation comedy seriously, and another writer, Laurence Marks, who probably took it too seriously? "Sergeant Schultz Meets Mata Hari" provides an intriguing suggestion as the hapless sergeant of the guard at prisoner-of-war camp Stalag 13 falls for a nice German girl who just happens to be an undercover Gestapo agent pumping him for information, but let's sketch out the terrain first.
Marks is credited as the sole writer of the story, which exhibits his hallmarks of plausibility, witty dialog, and crisp narrative. Yet his script includes the third appearance of Gestapo Major Hochstetter, a character Powell introduced late in the second season ("Heil Klink"), then "leased" to Art Baer and Ben Joelson four episodes later when he helped them script their story "Reverend Kommandant Klink." Along with General Burkhalter, Hochstetter is a competent German, unlike Schultz and his bumbling commanding officer Colonel Klink; in fact, Hochstetter is a formidable foe.
With a new munitions factory just built near Stalag 13, Hochstetter is determined to ferret out who has perpetrated the unusual amount of sabotage that occurs near the camp, the covert home base of Colonel Hogan and his intelligence and sabotage unit responsible for the damage. Hochstetter and his SS goons tear the Heroes' barracks apart but find nothing. Well, a gag radio and Sergeant Carter's poster of gorgeous Rita Hayworth, but this is a comedy, after all.
That's when Hochstetter sends one of his most "experienced" agents, Eva Mueller (Joyce Jameson), to seduce Schultz--the polite television term of the time would be "romance," but when Hochstetter becomes intimidated by the zaftig blonde bombshell, it's clear what she packs in her skill set--and schmooze out what he knows about the Heroes' setup. Then Marks serves up a scene that shows that Schultz, contrary to his "I know nothing!" catchphrase, actually knows something--but will he spill it to Eva?
Naturally, Schultz becomes head over heels over Hochstetter's honeytrap, even rhapsodizing to Hogan about how she let him pick her up. So, late one night, when Hogan has invited local underground leader Kurt (Sidney Clute) into the barracks for a clandestine confab about how to blow up the munitions factory, leaving the tunnel entrance open, who comes waltzing through the door but the POWs' favorite barracks guard? (Literally waltzing: picture a skating hippo doing "I Could Have Danced All Night" instead of Audrey Hepburn.)
Smoothly framed by director Gene Reynolds, Marks sets it up plausibly. Carter, watching the door, becomes distracted by the ragout Corporal LeBeau is cooking and comes over to the stove. Enter Schultz, just bursting to share his magical night, who stops to look down into the tunnel entrance, chides the prisoners about needing to fix the hole before someone fall into it and gets hurt, then waltzes out the door again. No double-take. No "I see nothing!" Nothing.
Granted, that's standard farce fare from a writer such as Richard Powell--but Laurence Marks? Was that the "fee" he had to pay Powell to use Hochstetter in his story? Because Howard Caine shows why he would return more than thirty times to play the tough Hochstetter--he's effective as a worthy enemy. He's also in civilian clothes, more appropriate for an agent of the Gestapo--who, after all, were the secret state police--than his usual SS uniform. And as the "Mata Hari," Jameson plays well off both Caine and John Banner, who shines in his spotlight right up to his mirthful mugging that closes this well-conceived and -executed episode.
It's just that mashup in the middle that seems so misplaced for Laurence Marks.
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