The Dukes of Hazzard (TV Series)

Daisy's Song (1979)

Catherine Bach: Daisy Duke

Quotes 

• Daisy Duke : [transistor radio]  Hey, everybody! Listen! That's my song! Jessi Colter is singing my song! Come on!

  Luke Duke : What are you talking about?

  Daisy Duke : I wrote that song! I wrote it!

  The Balladeer : That's Cousin Daisy. She works as a waitress, but aspires to better things. Daisy can cause more trouble than a new-born baby. Uncle Jesse is the Duke patriarch. His word is law... Usually obeyed out of love... But always obeyed.

  Uncle Jesse : Who'd you say that was singing?

  Daisy Duke : [jumping up and down with excitement]  It's Jessi Colter!

  The Balladeer : And for all you folks ignorant of good music, Jessi Colter's one of the world's best singers. Though I'm partial to June Carter myself.

  voice on the radio : And that was Jessi Colter's latest on the Big 40 Country Hits album.

  Daisy Duke : I just can't believe it!

  [bursts out laughing] 

  Uncle Jesse : That sounded real good, Daisy.

  Daisy Duke : It took me forever to write the notes down. And after all these years of writing songs, I sent it to this music publisher, and now Jessi Colter is singing it!

  Bo Duke : Well, that's great, Daisy. How much are they paying you?

  Daisy Duke : The pay?

  Luke Duke : Well, they did pay you?

  Daisy Duke : No, I paid them!

  Luke Duke : That's the sort of business we ought to have.

  Daisy Duke : There was this magazine ad where you paid $50 and they published your songs. So I saved up all my tip money till I had enough, and I sent my song in, and I got this letter back saying it was published.

  Bo Duke : Now, Daisy, uh... some of those ads are for phony operations.

  Uncle Jesse : You think Daisy's been took?

  Luke Duke : Well, they got Daisy's song, Jessi Colter's got a recording, and Daisy's got $50 less than she had before.

  Uncle Jesse : That's took. And $50 in nickel tips ain't easy to come by.

  Luke Duke : [educating Daisy]  When you record a song, you're supposed to get royalties.

  Bo Duke : Well, uh, where is this publishing company anyway?

  Daisy Duke : It's Lester Starr Music Publishing, in Atlanta.

  Uncle Jesse : [shakes his head]  That place ain't been right since Sherman burned it.

  Daisy Duke : [giggles]  Now come on, I'll bet this Mr. Starr just made an oversight.

  Bo Duke : [to Luke]  You think we ought to go on to Atlanta and check it out?

• Luke Duke : [before Daisy goes up the stairs]  Starr's in the apartment upstairs. We'll be watching the door. Be sure to holler if you need help.

  Lester Starr : [in upstairs apartment, reclining on couch, on phone to Boss Hogg]  Boss, Boss, believe me, they've got nothing on us. Nothing!

  [doorbell rings, he stands up to open door] 

  Daisy Duke : Hey, my name is Daisy,

  [giggles] 

  Daisy Duke : and I wanna be a star.

  Lester Starr : [can't believe his luck]  Come in.

  Daisy Duke : Okay.

  [enters] 

  Daisy Duke : Now I know millions of girls are always dropping in with cheap tricks to help you get their careers started.

  [drops her jacket - she's in tight top, hot pants and high heels] 

  Daisy Duke : Well, I decided to do the same thing.

  Lester Starr : Well,

  [chuckles] 

  Lester Starr : I think you made the right move.

  Daisy Duke : [sits down, showing off her sheer-pantyhose legs]  I swear I'll do anything to get you to listen to my tape.

  Lester Starr : Anything?

  Daisy Duke : About.

  [as he tries to get comfy next to her:] 

  Daisy Duke : Oh, now look, if you're going to seduce me or something, shouldn't you be offering me a drink? Of course, I really don't know, you see, I'm so country.

  Lester Starr : Really?

  Daisy Duke : [softly]  Hmm.

  Lester Starr : Baby, I'll make you a singing star without even hearing you.

  Daisy Duke : [giggles, gets up]  Oh, I'm gonna put on my tape, and you can listen. My act is very unique. You see, I got this freak voice. So I do sound-alikes. But with all these singers getting rich imitating people who are dead, I decided to pull a switch and imitate people who are alive. You think it will catch on?

  Lester Starr : [still mesmerized]  Sure, sure.

  Daisy Duke : Now, this is only a rehearsal tape. Just rhythm behind me. It's my Jessi Colter.

  Lester Starr : [in the mood for romance, but as the song starts - the genuine Jessi, of course - business takes precedence... fortunately just in time for Daisy's virtue]  Is that you? You do sound a little like her.

  Daisy Duke : [another track]  This is my Loretta Lynn.

  ["love is the foundation we lean on..." by the genuine singer] 

  Daisy Duke : And this is my Donna Fargo.

  [another track] 

  Lester Starr : We're gonna make a fortune!

  Daisy Duke : Yes, I thought we might. When can we start?

  Lester Starr : Tomorrow. Today. Right now!

  Daisy Duke : Then it's a deal?

  Lester Starr : It's a deal! I'll set up a test session about day after tomorrow. We'll use stolen music tracks behind you. Baby, this is gonna be... Wh... where are you going?

  Daisy Duke : You just set up that recording session, and I'll call you.

  Lester Starr : Whoo!

  [punches air] 

  Lester Starr : We'll make millions!

  Daisy Duke : It's the least I can do for a man who didn't try to take advantage of me.

  [blows him a kiss on her way out] 

  The Balladeer : I don't know about you, but she'd have done had my boots and guitar.

• Daisy Duke : Gee, I knew it was tough to get into show business, but I never heard of them using guns to keep you out.

• Bo Duke : Now was everything all right when you called up Starr?

  Daisy Duke : He was panting so hard he got my ear wet.

• Daisy Duke : [storming out to the General Lee]  You know what? Y'all are about as handy as a left-handed anvil! While I was there getting attacked by this lecherous midget, you two are orgying all over that pool.

  Bo Duke : Did he go for it?

  Luke Duke : Did he take the bait?

  Daisy Duke : He's gonna make me queen of the pirates.

  Bo Duke : Fantastic!

  Daisy Duke : And thanks for asking about my virtue - which you didn't - being intact - which it is!

  [whirls, climbs into car through window] 

  Luke Duke : [after she's slithered inside]  Do you understand that?

  Bo Duke : No.

  The Balladeer : [the boys climb in as well]  Now if you're wondering why they climb in and out of the car windows, the doors of a racing car are welded shut. Ain't that slick?

• Daisy Duke : [to crooked record producer Starr]  Now I know millions of girls are always dropping in here with cheap tricks to help you get their careers started.

  [slips off her light robe] 

  Daisy Duke : Well, I decided to do the same.

  [wearing only that pink satin chemise, sits down on couch, gives leggy display, high-heeled open sandals too, pointing her toes even] 

  Daisy Duke : What do you think?

  Lester Starr : Well, I think you made the right move.

  Daisy Duke : [giving Starr the full wattage of her sex appeal]  I swear I'd do *anything* to get you to listen to my tape.

  Lester Starr : [can't believe his luck]  Anything?

  Daisy Duke : About.

  Lester Starr : Wow...

  Daisy Duke : Oh, now, look, if you're gonna seduce me or something, shouldn't you be offering me a drink? Of course, I really don't know, you see, I'm so country.

  Lester Starr : [much, much taken by her beauty]  Really?

  Daisy Duke : [smiling]  Mm-hmm.

  Lester Starr : Baby, I'll make you a singing star without even *hearing* you.

  [Daisy giggles]