The Dick Van Dyke Show (TV Series)
The Lady and the Tiger and the Lawyer (1964)
Mary Tyler Moore: Laura Petrie
Quotes
-
Laura Petrie : You know what I think he's looking for?
Rob Petrie : What's that?
Laura Petrie : A wife.
Rob Petrie : Yeah? Whose?
-
Laura Petrie : [rounding on Rob as Donna calls out for help] Did you lock her in the bathroom?
-
Arthur Stanwyck : Did I say something to shock you?
Laura Petrie : Uh, no, why?
Arthur Stanwyck : Uh... you're... wiping the tray with the cake.
Rob Petrie : [laughing nervously] It's a... sponge cake.
-
Arthur Stanwyck : There's nothing I like better than a good comedy.
Laura Petrie : [worried] More than foreign films and rocks?
Arthur Stanwyck : Oh, I have a wide variety of interests.
Sally Rogers : Hey, you like rocks?
Arthur Stanwyck : I love 'em.
Sally Rogers : Oh, me too - emeralds, sapphires, rubies...
Sally Rogers : [imitating Jimmy Durante] Boy, them's my kinda rocks!
Arthur Stanwyck : Oh, look, y-you're talking to a poor lawyer, not a rich jeweler.
Sally Rogers : [still imitating Durante] Oh, I wasn't suggestin' that you buy them for me, counselor. I'm gonna buy 'em for you!
Arthur Stanwyck : [imitating Jimmy Durante] You're my kinda woman, Mrs. Calabash.
-
Laura Petrie : Well, listen, would you like to stay for dinner?
Arthur Stanwyck : Well, thanks, but I have a house full of dust to rearrange.
-
Laura Petrie : Will you please remember that this is not a contest? So I hope you're not gonna do anything that would ruin Donna's chances of winning it.
-
Donna Palmer : Can you see with my glasses?
Arthur Stanwyck : Perfectly.
Laura Petrie : [fawning] Isn't that marvelous? They both have the same prescription.
-
Rob Petrie : Arthur, would you like a... glass of, uh, wine?
Arthur Stanwyck : Thank you. Thank you, Rob. I'd love one.
Rob Petrie : How 'bout you, Donna?
Donna Palmer : Oh, me too.
Rob Petrie : Okay.
Laura Petrie : [fawning] Ohh, well...
Rob Petrie : Oh, well what?
Laura Petrie : [fawning] They both love wine. Isn't that COMPATIBLE?
-
Rob Petrie : D'you ever hear of anybody fallin' in love on second sight?
Laura Petrie : Oh, now that's just ridiculous.
Rob Petrie : Did you ever hear of anybody say "second come, first served?"