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The Sword of Atlantis

[unbrokenmetal · 6/10 · 21 July 2014]

Hissah Zul, an evil wizard and king, lives happily in his castle, until a skull appears in boiling water to warn him there's a new kid in town: „You will be slain by a descendant of Atlantis who carries the great blade". But there may be a way out: if Hissah Zul kills Conan, that strange warrior from Cimmeria, first. Not a job for an average assassin, so the king sets general Goroth (Andrew Divoff) and the malicious wizard Yara on the task. Conan is captured and sent to the arena to die, but he makes 2 new friends among the gladiators, Zzeben and Vulkar. The three try to escape, and then they get help from an unexpected ally... Simple set-up for the series, introducing the main characters.

worst movie ever

[daniel-cloney2 · 1/10 · 3 December 2006]

(spoiler)

Not quite sure where to start. Eh....worst movie, ever. Honestly. Just...what, what the hell happened here. Okay,. No. Worst movie ever.

>> How does knowing a girl for about five days constitute her being your True Love? >> WHy is that other chick even in the movie at all? >> Head shaking??? >> Jan....the archer...indoors??? At night time when the sun is shining into the cave?!

Genuinely, like...this is fundamental stuff.

Okay, and then Conan's "true love" is killed (after all that), and he kisses the other random woman on the same day as he buries the corpse of his "love" under a pile of rocks.

Oh, and since when is this part one?! Did they run out of money or what? Does part two actually have an ending, and who would buy it?!

Elephant? Elephant? What the hell? And how can he talk? And what is his purpose in the movie?!?

And the bit where they are supposedly climbing up a cliff...but they are obviously climbing along level ground with a tilted camera.

And the sword master?! I hope he never works again.

Worst movie ever.