8 Simple Rules (TV Series)

Every Picture Tells a Story (2003)

Jason Priestley: Carter Tibbits

Quotes 

• Carter Tibbits : It's okay. It's family, music to my ears.

  Cate Hennessy : So, where's your family tonight, Carter?

  Carter Tibbits : Well, wife number one is in Aspen with my girls. Wife number two went back to Italy with my boys. And wife number four, my current wife, she's vacationing with her mother in Martha's Vineyard.

  Paul Hennessy : What about wife number three?

  Carter Tibbits : We don't ever talk about wife number three! But I love wife number four.

  Bridget Hennessy : You know, aren't you a little young to have all of those wives? It sounds to me like you had some mother issues.

  Paul Hennessy : Bridget!

  Carter Tibbits : No, no, she may be onto somethin'. You know, when you grow up the eighth of nine kids, sometimes you can get lost in the shuffle.

  [Sad] 

  Carter Tibbits : Oh, mama, why didn't you love me?

  [Puts his face in his hands and pretends to cry. Paul goes over to comfort him. He points his hands at Paul, revealing that he was faking] 

  Carter Tibbits : Booyah!

• Carter Tibbits : Paul, I thought my crew chief made everything clear. I can't trust a man who sneaks in my bedroom while I'm showering and plays with my stuff. I'm afraid you're dead to me, Paul. Just like a certain ex-wife whose number I will not mention.

  [Pats Rory on the shoulder] 

  Carter Tibbits : How're you doin' there, son?

  Paul Hennessy : Now, Carter, I just want to set everything straight, and then you'll never hear from me again. I know that the book deal is dead. Is it?

  [Carter stares at him] 

  Paul Hennessy : I mean, right. No, no, that's neither here nor there, it's just... that I, I want you to know that I wasn't playing with your stuff.

  [he stares at Rory, Rory shakes his head "no". He goes back to looking at Carter] 

  Paul Hennessy : My son took something. I was putting it back.

  Carter Tibbits : Well, isn't that somethin'. Blaming it on your own son!

  Cody Grant : [From the other room, VO]  Pitiful!

  Paul Hennessy : No, no, no, no, no, no, no! Wait! If you rewound the tape...

  Carter Tibbits : You're not half the man that wife number three turned out to...

  [Stops himself, realizing he's said too much] 

  Carter Tibbits : I think you know where the door is.

  Rory Hennessy : [He and Paul go towards the door, but Rory turns back for a moment]  Mr. Tibbits, I stole that picture of you and movie legend, Paul Newman. My dad was just putting it back. I took it for a joke.

  Carter Tibbits : There's nothin' funny about stealin', son.

  Rory Hennessy : I know. It's just, my dad's so funny, and I was trying to be funny.

  Paul Hennessy : Rory, why'd you take it so far?

  Rory Hennessy : Because I wanted to impress you!

  Carter Tibbits : Whoa! Whoa! Stealing to impress your father! You know, Rory, I run a program for at-risk youth, such as yourself...

  Paul Hennessy : He's not at-risk!

  Carter Tibbits : If I had a dime for every parent who ever said that...

• Bridget Hennessy : I know it's hard. But, in order to accept it, you need to say it out loud. That's the first step to recovery. Now repeat after me: "It's not my fault". Say it.

  Carter Tibbits : [a second screen pops up with him sitting on the couch in his room]  I can't!

  Bridget Hennessy : Come on! Say it! "It's not my fault".

  Carter Tibbits : It's not... my... fault. Wife number three... was not... my... fault. Wait a minute! I know whose fault it was! Mama, why didn't you love me?

  [He puts his head in his hands. Bridget hangs up the phone]