Earl tries to help his old babysitter, whom he got pregnant by poking holes in her condom, by whipping her deadbeat son into shape. However, Randy gets mad at Earl when he recognizes the similarities between the man and himself.
Earl tries to get Joy a spot on a reality show starring Erik Estrada. However, he only causes great embarrassment, and accidentally gets Darnell's Witness Protection location revealed.
With Darnell's identity compromised, the Turners receive a new Witness Protection identity as a Jewish family. But what will they do with Joy gets a second chance to appear on "Estrada or Nada?"
When Randy wins the lottery, he decides to create a list item for himself. Meanwhile, Joy is dissatisfied with her family's Witness Protection identities and locations.
Earl visits Joy at her new Witness Protection location to return Mr. Turtle to Darnell, and stays to help her make new friends. Meanwhile, Randy makes a new "friend" while Earl is gone.
Darnell's father uses Earl and Randy to track Darnell down and tell him that he can get his old identity back if he agrees to do one more top secret job for The Agency.
Earl makes amends to an astronaut on his list who runs a space academy, but in the process discovers that he's a fraud. However, the man he's posing turns out to be no better than the impostor.
Earl tries to make amends to Camden's "Witch Lady," which only sparks her anger and causes her to hold everyone who's wronged her in the past hostage in her basement.
Earl tries to help a man he bullied in grade school, but hides his true identity because the man has become a scary bodybuilder. Meanwhile, Randy begins taking shark adrenaline so that he can finally stand up to Joy.
Earl's efforts to help a reverend who is on his list multiple times drive the reverend back to his old life of crime, while Joy risks getting her third strike when she hits Catalina with a riding lawn mower.