Top Girl (Video 1997) Poster

(1997 Video)

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The maestro only gets worse
lor_10 June 2009
The late not so great Joe D'Amato has a deservedly bad reputation based on his dozens of bad films, notably with Laura Gemser, but Top Girl represents an extremely lazy programmer, notably worse than his usual output. Budding film students should check it out -yet another catalog of what to avoid.

Filmed in L.A. (at least some quickie exteriors including a frequently repeated shot of the office building used as transition to indoors -probably filmed back in a studio in Rome), this is simplistic cinema by the numbers: avoid anything that might be difficult to stage or cost money. Though made in the '90s, it most closely resembles a mid-1960s softcore porn film but is much duller. The badly dubbed, sleepwalking cast seem to be enunciating in English (poor sync) but might as well have been reciting the alphabet as in early Fellini shoots. D'Amato seems conflicted regarding the porn content for fans: most bed scenes (not all) have the man on top chastely covered up for the camera, but there is also a random insert closeup of male-hand-fingering-female-groin that belongs in a stronger film -nothing hardcore at all.

Trite story of a simple beauty lured to Hollywood by a talent competition to select a soap opera leading lady ends up recycling clichés about Tinsel Town that date back a good 50 to 80 years ago. Heroine is played by Carla Solaro, a bland version of Anna Nicole Smith (minus the humor), who gets pawed by the male cast, notably in one of the phoniest rape-her-while-she's-drunk scenes I can remember, for which colorfully monikered villain Claudio Kleen (yes, that credit is actually on screen for this bald dude) should have paid Gold Film rather than taking a salary.

This marks the film debut, per IMDb, of unsympathetic leading man Robert Madison, son of fine Cowboy star Guy Madison. I didn't know this fact until I had finished watching the film, but did notice that when Robert & Carla walk down the Hollywood Walk of Fame, the camera lingers on a medium closeup of father Guy's star on the sidewalk. A nice, sincere touch, the only one in the entire running time.
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6/10
I must have been in the right mood for this
BandSAboutMovies19 December 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Patricia (Carla Solaro, Snuff Killer) is a small town girl who makes the big time, getting to be the newest star on a prime time show called The Voice of the Heart and moving to Los Angeles, falling for the man who makes her famous, the callous Mike (Robert Madison, the son of cowboy star Guy Madison).

This is totally a soap opera but a Joe D'Amato one (he directed, wrote and shot this as Fred Slonisko) and what's off is that somehow Carla Solaro had a body double which seems ridiculous for someone starring in one of Joe's movies but life is full of magic isn't it?

I'm looking through other reviews of this movie and people are tearing it apart and I'm thinking, hey, this is a 1997 Joe D'Amato softcore movie and there's a scene where the evil old guy gets to sleep with the heroine and I'm thinking the old dude is way too buff for his age and good for him. That should tell you the level of storytelling here in that I'm thinking about that.

Also, Mike is a mass media expert and I've been in marketing for too long and I've never met one of those. I think I've been living my life wrong. I mean, I know I am, I just watched sixty Joe D'Amato movies in one week.

But hey, Top Girl is no Top Model. I think we can all admit that.
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