Splatter University (1984) Poster

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5/10
Middle of the Road Slash Fest
tildagravette6 April 2019
Splatter University doesn't have an awful lot going for it. It looks the cheap, the sound is lacking, most of the performances are awful, and the gore effects rarely convince, but there's a certain low budget 80's charm that keeps you tuned in for its fairly short run time.

Francine Forbes makes for an incredibly appealing lead and she's easily the best actor in the film. Thankfully, we spend most of our time with her (although, maybe not enough time). She plays a young teacher who's replacing a teacher at a local college who's just been brutally murdered. Needless to say, the murderer isn't done yet and seems to have an issue with both the teachers and the entire student body of this university.

There's not a lick of suspense or terror in this movie and, as I said earlier, even the death scenes feel a bit uninspired, but Forbes keeps us invested and along for the ride. The finale does manage to surprise due the sheer mean spiritedness of it all, so I've got to give the fimmakers props for that. I certainly didn't see it ending that way and it was a genuine shock.

Splatter University is more of a movie to play in the background than one you really need to pay much attention to. It's saved by charm, Forbes, and a shocking finale.
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3/10
Fails to make the grade.
BA_Harrison19 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
With its outrageous students (one of whom howls like a wolf at anything with a pulse), '80s slasher Splatter University can be remarkably silly at times, but isn't amusing enough to qualify as a parody or black comedy; it's also a fairly bloody flick, but nowhere near scary enough to pass as a proper slasher. Exactly who would find the film satisfying is anyone's guess.

Forbes Riley plays recently qualified teacher Julie Parker, whose new job at St. Trinian's school gets off to a bad start when one of her students is murdered. After further students and members of staff turn up dead, Julie decides to quit, but will the killer let her leave? Not on your nelly! In it's one moment of originality, the film does the unthinkable and actually kills off the final girl, which almost makes up for the sheer predictability of the psycho's identity. If you fail to guess who is responsible, you clearly haven't seen enough horror films.

It's an absolute stinker, but I'll be kind and give Splatter University a rather generous 3/10 for the bloody knifings, the slit throat, the disembowelled corpse, Julie's surprisingly nasty death, and that Ginger girl's amazingly bad hairstyle.
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5/10
Some Good Ideas, But Poorly Made
bettybenzone17 June 2019
Man, this was a rough one to watch. I'm all for low budget movies, but this one looks like about the cheapest movie I've ever seen. Had the story been more interesting, this wouldn't have been an issue, but every time it starts to get interesting, it cuts away to silly subplots involving the students and ruins any tension. If the students were better developed, it wouldn't be an issue, but they feel like they're shoehorned in from another film.

Francine Forbes plays the leading lady and she's actually pretty great and likable. Whenever the film follows her, it's on a roll and we care about what happens to her. I'm not sure if it's because the writing for her is a little bit better or because Forbes is such a pleasant actress, but she seems to have been pasted in from a far better film.

There's about zero tension or scares, but some of the effects work isn't too bad and there are a few fairly gruesome murders. The killer reveal and finale finally ratchet up a little tension, but by that point, it's too little too late. The ending itself is shockingly downbeat and unexpected, so one must give them kudos for that.

Splatter University is a minor effort in the early 80's slasher cannon and probably for completists only.
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6/10
Incompetently funny D-grade slasher
yourmotheratemydog71523 October 2018
I knew this was going to be a good one (and by that, I mean a worthless piece of trash) when the film began with not one, but TWO, flashback sequences of meaningless characters being murdered. Indeed, the entirety of SPLATTER UNIVERSITY is a strangely paced, horribly edited and utterly stupid slab of slasher garbage that should be featured in your next bad movie night.

Directed by Richard W. Haines, most famous for his co-directing post on CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH (and his demotion to second-unit director of the film after only a week), SPLATTER UNIVERSITY tells the tale of random college students who are introduced and immediately murdered. Meanwhile, a new teacher tries to solve the mystery of who's spilling all this university blood. The VHS cover's cheerleader mysteriously never shows up to class.

The film features many wacky college-kid antics (which are damn near impossible to hear because of sound issues), murders (which are almost all uninspired stabbings), and a mystery that is face-palmingly obvious from very early on. Still, the film never takes itself that seriously and there are quite a few intentional and unintentional laughs to be had. As long as you find rampant misogyny and bloody killings funny (and who doesn't!).

It's only 78 minutes long, and I can safely say I enjoyed most of them. I'm a little surprised at the largely negative reviews here which don't mention how dang fun the whole thing is. Great to pair with FINAL EXAM or THE DORM THAT DRIPPED BLOOD for a trashy double feature of dead collegians.
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4/10
Great ending, OK movie
BandSAboutMovies10 October 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Richard W. Haines edited Stuck On You! and The Toxic Avenger and directed Class of Nuke 'Em High, Head Games and this slasher film, which features actress Elizabeth Kaitan (Robin from Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood and Candy from the Vice Academy series) on the poster when she's not even in the movie!

Years ago, a killer named William Graham escaped from a mental hospital and killed numerous students at Saint Trinian's College. Years later, new sociology teacher Julie Parker has just started at the college but she can already tell that something just isn't right. Much like a giallo, this foreigner must become the detective as bodies pile up around her and she becomes the killer's next potential victim.

This movie was made for around $25,000 and originally called Thou Shall Not Kill. It came at the end of the slasher boom and is a pretty standard stalk and slash, save for a few cool scenes like when Parker discovers her best friend's body, which has been festering in a locker for several days. It feels all over the place as several of the kills were added after the original running time only came in at 65 minutes, so the padding is evident.

For all of the faults you can find in this movie - the effects aren't that great, the kills aren't very spectacular, the characters are pretty much universally annoying - the ending makes up for all of it, transforming what has been a pretty campy affair into pure nihilistic bleakness.
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2/10
if only the director had gone to Splatter University!
FieCrier26 May 2005
Really, really bad slasher movie. A psychotic person escapes from an asylum. Three years later he kills a sociology professor, end of scene. One semester yesterday later (hey, that's what the title card said) a new sociology professor is at the school. She makes friends with another female sociology professor who works there, and starts dating another professor. The students are all bored, as are we.

There are a number of title cards indicating how much time has passed. Scenes are pretty short, and cut to different characters somewhere else, making for little progression of any kind. A lot of scenes involve characters walking and talking, or sitting and talking, and serve little purpose. Despite the passage of time, many of the characters are always wearing the same clothing. Sometimes the unclear passage of time means when we see a body for the second time, we ask ourselves: how long has that body been there? And also, at least one of the dead people don't seem to have been missed by others.

The killer manages to kill one person by stabbing her in the breast, another by stabbing him in the crotch, and another by slicing her forehead. Is his knife poisoned or something?

The video box cover has a cheerleader: there aren't any in the movie. The rear cover has a photo of someone in a graduation cap and gown menacing a group of women in a dorm room. The central redhead in the photo is in the movie, but nobody ever wears such an outfit, and there is no such scene. The killer is strictly one-on-one.
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4/10
Dead-headed slasher is more laughable than scary
Leofwine_draca2 October 2017
Warning: Spoilers
SPLATTER UNIVERSITY is a laughably inept slasher film of the early 1980s, more low rent than even a companion film like GRADUATION DAY. The story involves an unknown maniac escaping from an asylum and going undercover at a high school, where they proceed to slaughter their way through the cast of unknowns. This is very much bottom of the barrel material, one of those films that's nigh on impossible to take seriously; the acting is goofy and the script completely dead-headed. As for that title, well, there are some gory kills, but they tend to be repetitive and lack the creativity that went into a contemporary slasher like HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME.
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5/10
I've Seen Worse
acidburn-1013 September 2007
Warning: Spoilers
The Plot = A Psycho escapes from a mental institution by killing off a male orderly and wearing his clothes, three years later the female students and teachers of St Trinians fall victim to a knife wielding psychopath. The new teacher on campus Juile Parker (Franchine Forbes) gets worried and even starts to suspect her new boyfriend Mark who happen to have a relationship with the former teacher that died. After the deaths of her friends, the young teacher confronts the killer in the hallways of the college with shocking results.

I've heard a lot of bad things about this film before watching it like people saying it's the worst slasher ever, and to be honest it's not as bad as they say sure there are a lot better college slashers such as (House On Sorority Row) but I've seen a lot worse movies than this as well such as (Blood Tracks and Don't Go Into The Woods Alone).

Splatter University is an entertaining slasher film for all the wrong reasons. Director Robert Haines is so inept that he allows numerous mistakes and gaffs into the film. A few mistakes include bad post production dubbing, dead bodies that move, and a doctor with bloodstains on his coat before he's attacked by the killer. The mistakes are often more entertaining than the actual film.

There is a lot of amusing things about this movie such as the terrible acting for one, the part when the priest throws away porn magazines when one of the teachers is on her way to see him, the college students who are all but ugly, the teacher on the toilet with the crude sound effects and writing on the walls before she gets killed, the pervy priest who likes to sleep with the female teachers and gets aroused by one of the female students. I mean wow this movie doesn't exactly portray priests in a very kind manner often portraying them as perverts and the students who are just portrayed as dope smoking, sexually active morons with no brains. Unfortunately, they forgot to add depth to their characters and suspense. Gore consists of knife penetrations and plenty of squirting blood. Even though the camera zooms in on girls wearing tight jeans and shirts, there is no nudity except for a cover of Look magazine. When you see the female students, you'll be glad they kept their clothes on. The soundtrack is one annoying song that plays throughout the movie.

Francine Forbes is the only real actor in the cast. She brings a charming innocence to this film. The rest of the cast must be friends or relatives of the filmmakers. They obviously weren't hired on talent or good looks. The killer's identity is a bit of a surprise, but the actor looks too silly to be menacing.

All in all Splatter University is so badly made it's actually entertaining, zero tension and no suspense whatsoever but in fairness it's not the worst slasher or by far means one of the best.
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4/10
Slow off the mark, poorly constructed but bizarrely alluring...
LuisitoJoaquinGonzalez27 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
Colleges, High Schools, Fraternities and Sororities have been the most popular stalking grounds for maniacal madmen since the slasher cycle first became a popular cinema culture throughout the late seventies. Even backwoods cabins and campsites have rode shotgun to the amount of massacres that have taken place on campuses since Halloween categorised the genre as a cult horror category. From early entries like To all a Good Night right up until the big budgeted schlock of titles like Urban Legend or Schools Out, there's usually always been a campus slasher lurking somewhere in the pipeline. Despite being picked up by Troma - the titans of B movie badness – Splatter University was heavily panned upon release and never really found an audience. Even notorious hack and slash websites like HYSTERIA-LIVES have written off Richard Haines' splatter yarn as one of the worst of the early eighties boom. I always approach criticised movies optimistically because there's often the chance than a few bad reviews can be unfairly contagious like a dose of the flu, which crowds the judgement of certain authors.

It begins in traditional fashion at the place where any maniac worth his salts emerges. Yep you guessed it – an insane asylum! It seems that one of the inmates has decided that he's unhappy with the level of service at the institution and therefore he's looking to take his business elsewhere. The unseen nut-job makes his break after stabbing an unfortunate orderly where the sun certainly doesn't shine. He obviously favours the dress sense of the murdered worker, so he takes the liberty of borrowing his uniform, blood stained trousers and all!

Three years later, we transfer to St Trinians College, an educational establishment that is controlled by catholic priests. A teacher is busy after hours marking her students work when all of a sudden there's a knock at the door. Before she has a chance to find out what the unseen visitor wants, he stabs her in the chest with a kitchen knife and she falls to the floor in a bloody heap. This of course means that there's a vacancy at the university and so we're introduced to Julie Parker (Francine Forbes), the lovable replacement for the recently departed lecturer. It seems that her arrival has inadvertently given the resident maniac all the motivation that he needs to go on a no holds barred slaughter-thon. Before long students and teachers alike are dropping like flies to the camera shy menace as he stalks the corridors and local areas armed with an exceptionally large blade. Suspicious suspects abound, but can professor Parker solve the mystery of the campus murderer before she becomes just another statistic?

I'm not precisely sure how many versions of this movie are available. The UK altered video was released under the alias of Campus Killings, but the US copy that I own states that it's the complete unedited edition, which could mean that there is a censored print floating about somewhere? I'd be fairly surprised if that was the case as Splatter University certainly isn't as gore-delicious as the hyperbole packaging would lead you to believe. One or two litres of corn syrup certainly don't stand up to gore hound's scrutiny when compared to the likes of Blood Rage or Pieces, so in this instance the movie is somewhat over hyped. One thing that many critics have failed to mention is the charming lead performance from Francine Forbes, who ends up carrying the entire picture on her shoulders throughout the 79-minute running time. Despite amateurish direction from Richard Haines she still unveils some magnificent potential that should have lead to the chance of another stab at serious acting under a more accomplished helmer. Unfortunately that possibility never came, and bottom of the barrel bombs like Death Ring and Splitz certainly didn't help to nurture a talent that could have improved dramatically under the right scholarship.

The rest of the cast members were par for the course of movie obscurity, especially the wooden plank teenagers who for some strange reason acted like they were auditioning for a remake of Grease or The Wanderers. The bog standard point and shoot direction couldn't have helped to build much confidence in the project and the fact that the few signs of potential were undermined by the clumsy handling of the script writer left the feature effectively unredeemable. Perhaps the only claim of originality to be found in Haines' slasher is the brave attempt for the contrasting conclusion. Let's just say that it's not a final that I was expecting to witness in a movie that was so typical of the cycle.

At one point in the runtime, one of the teens says, "Man that Parker bores me to tears…" Well the same can be said for Splatter University, which never lifts the pace above slow motion. With that said though, Francine Forbes made for a delectable scream queen and undoubtedly one that I would have paid to watch again in a similar role. So that pretty much sums up this un-troma-tising ride. Slow paced, shoddy but still strangely alluring; you'd have to be especially forgiving to give it a chance
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4/10
"Her death remains a mystery".
lost-in-limbo23 February 2013
Just another traditional slasher. Well that's what you say about the Troma released "Splatter University". It's textbook and low-budget as you can get with a eye-catching film title. But it's reputation of being one of worst its sub-genre had to offer seems to scream loudly. It had me thinking of the 1981 slasher "Final Exam", but that film is exemplary compared to this outing. Sure "Splatter University" is rancid, uninspired with lazy direction, tacky writing and wooden acting, but I have a soft spot for campus horror and I kind of enjoyed that it didn't take itself all that seriously, as it felt like they're playing up to the camera. You could say the stalk and slash elements at times took a back-step to college hi-jinks, which I found a little more amusing than the slasher side of the story. There it would get slow and sluggish with confused editing. I didn't find it all that effective in presenting the red herrings and the revelation isn't anything surprising, but the finale had one surprise up its sleeve I didn't see coming and quite a daring one too. The story is fairly messy, as what begins as a psychopathic killer escaping from an asylum then moves on a couple years later when a university teacher is brutally murdered to only move on even further where a couple months later a newly appointed teacher arrives on the campus where suddenly the lady students are being targeted by a killer. So many random occurrences seem to make its way into the unfocused story; some don't even have any relevance than to add trivial exchanges for humour. Sometimes the darkest of humour. Although there's no hiding how spiteful and deranged the violence can be, however they're rather unimaginative in the usual slashing and stabbing. Quite bit of red paint gets chucked about and the electronic soundtrack gets a good workout. Characters come and go with no one really standing out (most of them are obnoxious or slackers), other than Forbes Riley as the leading lady and Dick Biel. Senseless, hackneyed and cheesy, but what do you expect? Nudity, if so... look elsewhere.

"Gross! There's a fingernail in my pie".
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2/10
Total gore- and cheesefest!
Coventry6 December 2005
How come I've never seen or even heard about this junk-movie before? It's right up my alley with bloody teenkill, laughable plotting and an irresistible 80's cheese-atmosphere hanging around it. For some reason nobody is really interested in, the staff and students of an elite Catholic university are butchered by an unknown psychopath. Freshly recruited teacher Julie Parker becomes involved when all the people she has contact with either turn up dead or behave strangely. This movie is hilariously bad! There's absolutely no logic or coherence and every character is equally meaningless to the others. For example, there's a girl killed and her body dumped in a container. Then, and for no reason, the story suddenly moves forward three weeks yet the murdered girl is never mentioned or even missed. Not even by her boyfriend! The acting is pitiful and there isn't even a bit of nudity to enjoy. The revelation of the killer is quite funny because the makers really seemed convinced that it was an original twist... It's not, guys! "Splatter University" is easily one of the worst horror-turkeys ever.
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Expelled! F-!
bordentownfilms12 July 2004
This was the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. It was so bad, in fact, that it almost was the end of me. I was just barely able to get out of bed the next day. My credit card bills are climbing, my car payment is too high, I have a mortgage that's slowly strangling me, and I now must live with the knowledge that I can never un-see 'Splatter University.' It was almost too much to take. Ultimately, I got out of bed to feed my fish--and I couldn't let anything happen to myself while they were dependent on me to live. God only knows where I'd be right now if I didn't have a fish tank.

This movie takes place over a span of a couple weeks. Yet in every scene, all the characters are wearing the same clothes. If I had to listen to that idiot with the sleeveless blue t-shirt on howl like a wolf one more time, I was going to put my head through the tv.

When I rented it, I was hoping for a college slasher romp, fraught with scantily clad college-aged honeys. None of that here. How about great make-up fx and gallons of blood? Try again. A creepy killer that was good for at least ONE scare? Nope.

I never in a million years would think that a movie with a running time of 79 MINUTES could feel so long. But now that I know, there's no going back. You see, I've graduated from Splatter University, and it weighs on my conscience like a student loan with payments made directly to hell.
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9/10
'No one ever cuts class at Splatter University but the student body loses a limb once in a while!'
Weirdling_Wolf26 February 2021
Another delightfully misfit-minded cult classic that rarely makes it onto predictably banal 'best-of 80s horror' lists, no doubt due to an innate celluloid snobbery, or a deliberate failure to recognize the stab-hungry film's monumentally maniacal merit, but the terrifically Troma-tizing effect of Richard W. Haines deliciously unwholesome, party-hearty, teat-splicingly splattery gut-spiller is in a class of its own! The horndoggin' student body gets skeevily creamed by the hallway haunting death-monger, and Goody Two-Shoes, foofy-haired faculty members get their well-educated bodies impolitely perforated by the school's equal opportunities killer, this gnarly, screw-headed rube 'ain't got time for no teacher's pet, as only the most scholastically stupefied will earn a higher degree in teen trashing terror!

Happily, it is not only the most discerning, sordidly slasher-schooled, shower-peeping pupils who can enrol in empty-headed 'Splatter U', as this is a progressively perverse backstreet seat of low-brow learning, wherein Drive-In skeezers, back alley tweakers, B-Movie brainiacs, and lunatic asylum wall leapers are the frequently anti-social alumni! And the scurvy school motto: 'it 'ain't fun if it 'ain't dumb' remains a righteous maxim to die by!

Not long after super-foxy loxy sociology professor Julie Parker (Forbes Riley) has taken her first class, the black-hearted, lavatorially lurid, cubical creeper has gruesomely gored some teenage cooze, leaving their torn up giblets in the breeze for the bums to abuse! Ms. Parker goes steady with fellow teacher Marc Hammond (Ric Randig), but the plasma-clogged jury's still out on whether his erroneous extracurricular activities are strictly on the up-and-up, or if sinfully shifty Sir Hammond is the heroic hackmeister General of 'Splatter U'????

Funnier than 'Halloween', hotter than 'Hell Night', more bite than 'Prom Night', camper than 'Friday the 13th', sexier than 'Sleepaway Camp' and no less gutsy than 'Graduation Day', but, for me, 'Splatter University' remains one of the more tantalizingly trashy examples of 80s teen slashing mania, the sleaziest scream of the prom, and any ferocious fear flick with future Faith no More Guitar mangler Jim Martin as art director is gonna' diabolically deliver a most righteous shiver into that fear-jaded liver!!!
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Low grade terror pic
lor_12 February 2023
My review was written in July 1984 after a Times Square screening.

"Splatter University" is a negligible stalk and slash terror picture, offering too little (and coming too late in the cycle) to impress hardened horror fans. Its proposed title "Splatter U." would have been more fun.

Amateur effort, boasting poorly timed color and the look of a grainy blowup from 16mm, has a minimal plot concerning a new teacher at a N. Y. school, St. Trinians College (presumably a lame reference to the hit British comedy film series by Frank Launder and Sidney Gilliat).

Julie Parker (Francine Forbes) is the new sociology prof; her predecessor was killed last semester and not surprisingly, the body count among her students and colleagues is high during the pic's abbreviated 77-minute duration.

Editor turned helmer Richard W. Haines evidences little prowess with actors or action sequences here. The gore is strictly of a bloodletting nature, extraneous enough to offend traditionalists and not creative enough to interest horror cultists.
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2/10
Do NOT be fooled by the cover!
horrormb7 February 1999
If you merely look at the cover of this movie, it's cool. DON'T. The movie itself put me to sleep. It was slow paced, had minimal violence and a poor use of suspense. The acting was bottom feeder material and the plot, while it would've been cool for a different movie, was poorly shown here. They even kill the only likeable character in the whole film! I give it a 2 out of 10 because the only thing that was good was the plot twist at the end. Other than that, you might want to save yourself from this movie trash.
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8/10
Dead College Students Is Funny
DavyDissonance22 October 2019
Some wacko is stabbing people. The end. Splatter University is a wonderful movie. I like it because watching those commie college f··kers getting killed in this movie is epic and it fulfills a fantasy that I wish would come to fruition. Yay! I mean, really? Who needs college students anyways? Okay, truth be told, this movie is crappy. The acting is stiffer than a hard on at an all-female orgy, has a very unoriginal slasher movie concept and the pacing is a bit slow. Some people cry like sissies about this movie having a misogynistic tone but I don't care. But I still like it because college kids die, the blood gushing kills were fantastic and it's 78 minutes so up yours.
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3/10
Splatter University
Scarecrow-884 July 2015
Warning: Spoilers
Forbes Riley is a fresh-out-of-college teacher who lands her first job at a Catholic school having earned an infamy after the professor prior to her arrival died when stabbed in brutal fashion, bleeding all over her classroom. This comes after a lunatic literally escapes from the asylum, taking the uniform of a nurse he stabs to death in a bathroom stall (something he likes to do). When stab-murders start up at the college to students and faculty alike, Riley considers a male professor she is romantically interested in to be the possible suspect responsible.

Rick Randig is Mark, Riley's love interest, and soon someone she considers dangerous. Dick Biel is a rather odd, emotionally-inert, wheel-chair dependent priest and head of the school. The cast of students is a rather uninteresting, unlikable bunch of male pigs and female whiners. Riley's students seem totally bored and rudely devoid of interest in anything she says or does in class!

Lots of knives going in torsos, and blood spilling all over the place. Plenty of bloody bodies discovered, primarily by Riley. The psycho- killings are routinely directed with little energy or pizazz whatsoever. The keyboard score does little to be a pick-me-up for the audience in chase sequences. The bleak conclusion involving Riley was a surprise, I must admit, and the twist was unique if a bit obvious (why wouldn't the killer be someone victims wouldn't expect "standing" in front of them?). Mark just slaps you in the face as a red herring. The flat photographic work and immense lack of anyone worth a cent to care about doesn't help matters.

Student Bodies made fun of films just like this one. Still, with a name like Splatter University, slasher fans will want to checkmark their watch list so this will more than likely make its way on the screen of devotees.
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8/10
Its Troma, what do you expect??
abduktionsphanomen5 November 2023
Splatter University - 1984 (This Films Rate a B+ ) What do you get from a horror film with a $50,000 budget? Troma of course!

A mental health patient kills one of the dumb and deserving psychiatric staff with a knife to the groin. Flash forward three years later and the same patient kills again. Meanwhile Julie accepts a teaching position at a religious college and is warned about the classroom being jinxed. Of course she does not believe the rumor and accepts the position. Elsewhere a group of beer drinking college teenagers attend Intro to sociology with Julie as the new professor. There are several suspicious subjects who seem guilty. Julie becomes suspicious and does her own sluthey investigation which places her in danger. She attempts to move out of her apartment only to be caught in this crazy double twist ending. The ending actually makes this film completely enjoyable and ties in the whole outrageous story line. The murders arent high end but are effective enough and have plenty of blood. The film does not care if you think youv'e guessed the killer half way through only to find out that nothing made sense. The acting is terrible but I am not 100% sure this was not intended. It creates funny moments that are so absurd that you actually love them. Sometimes these moments are stereotyped and offensive. However, there are enough serious scenes that make this film a winner. The script is juevinile crap with a lot of off the wall dialogue (11 min mark). Do not miss out on the jordace jeans, lots of beer and just plain old dumb kids. The garage rock soundtrack if superb for the 1980's. "Why dont you kiss my left cheek. I would if you shaved it!"
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10/10
Cheese-gore goodness for anyone who enjoys wanton violence such as kicking puppies.
The Rat-210 June 1999
This movie is great. If you enjoy watching B-class movies, that is. This is a classic college 80's slasher movie, in which one song is played throughout the entire soundtrack. A horrible film, but worth renting to make fun of, or just to watch old men pop out of closets with knives. Kinda funny, if you ask me.
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6/10
Better Than Expected Slasher.
mmc12324 February 2000
"What's your favorite scary movie hmmmm? Graduation Day? Final Exam? THe Dorm That Dripped Blood? The House On Sorority Row? Or is it SPLATTER UNIVERSITY? Am I Close?" says Randy in SCREAM 2 as he tries to keep the killer on the phone while walking the college campus.

"Close Enough".

When I heard of this movie I wanted to see it. I bought it after all of the bad reviews and negetive comments and still I like the movie well enough.

If I had to compare it with something I would say Scream 2 meets the budget of Halloween meets the acting of Saved By the Bell.

The music is somewhat like the beginning of Child's Play 3 and the deaths scenes are decent.

With a body count of 6 and a surprise twist ending this movie is good.

6/10.
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1/10
The worst slasher flick of the 80's? Quite possibly.
Nightman8520 May 2008
Nut case is murdering college students, can new teacher stop the madness?!

Believe me, you won't care.

With a title like Splatter University, one would immediately gather that this movie just isn't high art. But worse than that Splatter University doesn't even qualify for amusing garbage. Splatter U is so poorly made - the story is mindless, the characters are throw-aways, and the whole movie lacks any essence of imagination. Needless to say there is no suspense or atmosphere or scares. This drivel isn't even brave enough to throw in any nudity (for the cheapest thrill of all). So all around this endlessly flawed slasher offers nothing in the way of entertainment (not even cheap laughs) and just becomes a complete bore. Bottom of the barrel folks - even die hard slasher fans will want to think twice before viewing, let alone paying money for this flick.

BOMB out of ****
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Awful
Michael_Elliott12 March 2008
Splatter University (1984)

1/2 (out of 4)

Incredibly awful slasher film has kids on a campus being slaughtered by a maniac with a large knife. The director of this went on to make the cult classic Class of Nuke 'Em High but no matter how you look at this thing it's still awful. The acting is among the worst I've ever seen, the story makes no sense and the death scenes are all very lame and fake looking. I went ahead and gave it half a star for some unintentional laughs that pop up from all the badness. This is certainly one of the worst slashers of the genre.
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8/10
Eccentric entry in the 80's slasher cycle
Woodyanders6 April 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A psycho escapes from a mental hospital and embarks on a bloody rampage at Saint Trinian's College. Several years later eager new teacher Julie Parker (a spunky and appealing portrayal by Forbes Riley) suspects that something is amiss after the killings begin anew.

Director Richard Haines relates the familiar, but still engrossing and enjoyable story at a steady pace, maintains an engaging oddball tone throughout, presents a colorful array of quirky characters (the male college kids in particular are a hilariously rowdy bunch of obnoxious louts), delivers several moments of jolting gory violence, and further spices things up with an amusing sense of offbeat dark humor. Moreover, the killer's true identity is a total hoot while the slaying of the final gal at the end is genuinely shocking. Dick Biel contributes a solid turn as strict wheelchair-bound priest Father Janson. Right-on groovy shivery synthesizer score by Christopher Burke, too. A neat little slice'n'dice item.
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Could have been worse...
Sevoulian11 September 2002
Splatter University is just another attempt to cash in on the 80's slasher hysteria.

The acting was bad but the script definitely had potential. There were some pretty creative deaths but they were all ruined by the horribly slow pace and unneeded dialogue. For some reason the director felt like following around a bunch of crumby actors who the audience expected were there just to die and then suddenly stopped incorporating them into the film? Why was that? Were they just trying to throw us off or waste our time?

I can't say "Splatter University" was complete trash, I can say that the script and twists could have worked with a better director, bigger budget, and more experienced production team.

Go ahead and see this movie, but don't expect anything better than "okay" or worse...
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2/10
A splatter of brain input
PeterMitchell-506-56436423 November 2012
At least this movie has consistency. Bad acting, bad script, bad directing, bad everything. What a let down this movie was, especially when judging the cover of a high school girl's bloody fingerprints. This really bad horror movie reminded of that much better film, Fatal Pulse. This is like Amateur hour, sadly with the addition of a twenty minutes. This looney escapes from a mental hospital, where we get to view some of the other patients, one who likes to stab at a doll's head, with his finger. The looney is hiding out at the school, where a series of students end up visiting the morgue. So we've got a slasher by the numbers film, but this one is exceptionally bad. A bearded student who talks with a sarcastic voice, looks very much like someone I know. At least this movie's funny. Nothing else. Bad. Really really bad.
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