Gensomaden Saiyuki (2000–2001)

Illich Guardiola: Gojyo

Quotes 

• Sha Gojyo : [cracks open a beer and takes a swig]  Goddamn it, this one's hot. Goku, get me another beer.

  Goku : Get your own beer, jerkoff!

  Sha Gojyo : Okay, you're gonna get me another beer or I'm gonna take this can and shove it up your whiney little ass! You got that?

  Goku : You just try and see what happens, ya shithead!

  Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah?

  Goku : You're just looking for an excuse to touch my ass, aren't you?

  Genjo Sanzo : [sighs]  Please ...

  Sha Gojyo : You little fag! Don't project your fantasies on me!

  Goku : All right, that's it! Pull over, I'm taking him out!

  Genjo Sanzo : Your little unrequited love affair is starting to get on my nerves! Get a room!

  [Gojyo and Goku fall silent] 

  Cho Hakkai : Good move there, uh, Sanzo.

  Genjo Sanzo : I thought so, thanks.

  Cho Hakkai : Oh, my, awful quiet back there guys. Are you two making out?

  Sha Gojyo : Shut up, Hakkai.

  Goku : Yeah, shut up.

• Goku : [laughing]  You, a holy man? Yeah, right!

  Sha Gojyo : [laughing, mimicking Yoh]  I cannot tell you what this means to me. Do no hesitate to call my name!

  Cho Hakkai : [laughing]  You know what this means, don't you?

  [the three become very serious] 

  Goku , Sha Gojyo , Cho Hakkai : He doesn't know you very well.

  [they break into laughter again] 

• Sha Gojyo : Stupid monkey, get your own food.

  Goku : Leave me alone, you pervy water sprit!

  Genjo Sanzo : [pulls out gun and start shoting]  Will you both shut the hell up?

• Goku : Oh, great, the carnival's in town.

  Sha Gojyo : Oh, yeah. I'd like to show a couple of those little carnival hotties what kind of action's going on under my big top.

  Cho Hakkai : [blows a whistle]  Too much information!

• Sha Gojyo : Sweetheart, when it comes to my women, I'm picky.

• [a demon flies into the hall through Goku's closed door] 

  Cho Hakkai : Are you all right, Goku?

  Goku : [sleepily]  Wha? I'm fine. I had the weirdest dream.

  Cho Hakkai : More like a nightmare, my friend.

  Sha Gojyo : He did this in his sleep? That's bullshit.

• Sha Gojyo : [analyzing their foe]  So, whadda ya think, Goku?

  Goku : Seems like an asshole and he's got bad hair. I say minus twenty points.

  Cho Hakkai : Take off another fifteen. His clothes are lame and he smells.

  Monk 3, Demon 3 : [laughing until he realizes they're talking about him]  Huh? How dare you! How dare you mock me!

  Goku : Oh! Dude! Bad teeth! Take off another five!

  [the demon throws his ax at Gojyo and misses] 

  Sha Gojyo : Bad aim. That's another ten.

• Sha Gojyo : So ya wanna see if the carpet matches the drapes, do ya?

• Sha Gojyo : Man, this giant shitpile ain't easy to break into. It's tough.

• [three shots fire] 

  Genjo Sanzo : Will you two shut up? Do you wanna die?

  [three more shots fire] 

  Genjo Sanzo : Now if you are quite finished, will you sit down?

  Goku : But, Sanzo!

  Sha Gojyo : This monkey...

  Genjo Sanzo : Shut up!

  Resturaunt Patron : Hey, isn't that a monk's robe he's got on?

• Goku : But there are still some spring rolls left!

  Sha Gojyo : Beer!

  Cho Hakkai : Yes, yes, I know. But if we don't hurry, Sanzo really will shoot us.

  Goku : Spring rolls!

  Sha Gojyo : Beer!

  Genjo Sanzo : Slowpokes!

  [fires two shots] 

• Hotel Clerk : I know, I have an idea. How about I lay a bunch of blankets on the floor for you guys and you can all sleep together.

  Genjo Sanzo , Sha Gojyo , Goku , Cho Hakkai : Sleep together?

• Sha Gojyo : Would you stop acting like a child?

  Goku : I am a child, doofus!

• Hotel Clerk : [after opening the door and finding Goku pinned under Gojyo on the bed]  Oh, sorry. I'll just leave this right here.

  [leaves and shuts the door] 

  Hotel Clerk : I swear, I didn't see anything. Enjoy your stay.

  Sha Gojyo : Be honest with me fellas, does this look bad?

• Sha Gojyo : Well, it sure does look like Sanzo needs some anger management.

  Genjo Sanzo : If you don't move your ass I'll show you anger management.

• Sha Gojyo : Moron. That's what you get for pausing in battle to make pretty speeches.

• Sha Gojyo : Well, that certainly is a first, we're all in agreement for once.

• Sha Gojyo : I'm not sleeping tonight unless there's a woman beside me.

• Sha Gojyo : I'm exhausted. I can't even muster enough energy to punch Goku.

  Goku : That would piss me off if I weren't so damn hungry.

• Cho Hakkai : It's such an eerie feeling, though. How he actually seems to anticipate our every move.

  Genjo Sanzo : That's not hard with these two.

  Sha Gojyo , Goku : What did you say?

• Sha Gojyo : Hey, Sanzo!

  Genjo Sanzo : Hm?

  Sha Gojyo : Lend me a smoke, will ya?

  Genjo Sanzo : No way.

  Sha Gojyo : Don't be a Scrooge! I gotta have my fix, man!

  Genjo Sanzo : If memory serves me correctly, I seem to recall someone saying my smokes tasted like shit.

  Sha Gojyo : I need nicotine right now. Cough 'em up!

  Genjo Sanzo : Let go of me, that is if you wanna live, you red-haired fairy.

  Sha Gojyo : [screams]  I need nicotine!

• Sha Gojyo : I'll be damned. He's sleeping with eyes open.

  [grabs Goku and starts shaking him] 

  Sha Gojyo : That's just too goddamned creepy!

  Genjo Sanzo : Shut up or I'll kill you!

  Cho Hakkai : That's too weird. Sanzo shouts in his sleep.

• Sha Gojyo : I left the monkey back in the forest, if you must know.

• Goku : That lady called Hakkai Gonou. I wonder, that means they were school makes or something!

  Sha Gojyo : You can be so naive sometimes, Goku. They were a little more that that. I think ol' one eye was getting some nun action, if you ...

  Genjo Sanzo : Enough!

  [smacks Goku and Gojyo with his fan] 

  Genjo Sanzo : If you want something to speculate about, why don't you figure out where we're going to sleep tonight?

• Sha Gojyo : You monks aren't more moral than us. You just rationalize much better.

• Genjo Sanzo : I wish that stupid monkey would just shut the hell up.

  Sha Gojyo : Whoo-hee, he's giving me a pounding headache.

  Cho Hakkai : Hey, come one, bring on the booze!

  Sha Gojyo : Come to think of it, I've never actually seen Hakkai drunk before.

  Cho Hakkai : We might have underestimated him.

• Sha Gojyo : Hey, wake up. Your family's here to see you.

• Sha Gojyo : Damn it to hell, these monkeys sure are a pain in the ass.

  Goku : I resent that!

  Sha Gojyo : You resemble that.

• Sha Gojyo : Aww, look, back with his own kind.

• General Kenren : Flowers are great, women are better, but I tell you, a glass of good rice wine is just heavenly.

• General Kenren : So come on, guys, if you've been wanting a piece of me, here's your chance.

  [laughs] 

  Field Marshall Tenpou : You just had to rile them up, didn't you?

• Sha Gojyo : Hey, leggo my egg roll.

• Sha Gojyo : Yeah, Sanzo, have you seen her?

  Genjo Sanzo : Why are you asking me?

  Sha Gojyo : Well, she is your play pal, isn't she?

  Genjo Sanzo : [puts the barrel of the banishing gun under Gojyo's chin]  Please continue.

  Sha Gojyo : Mommy.

• Goku : Unnhhhhhh, who would be making a racket this early?

  Sha Gojyo : It's noon already, moron.

  Goku : What? You mean I missed breakfast?

• Sha Gojyo : I never knew you had such a playful side to you, monk.

• Sha Gojyo : Either they're really confident, really polite, or really bored.

  Cho Hakkai : I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say all of the above.

  Sha Gojyo : Or this could be their way of flirting with one of us.

• Konzen Douji : Tell me, are you and Kenren sharing the same stylist?

  Field Marshal Tenpou : Yes, and I think the fashion is bound to catch on eventually!

  General Kenren : Don't I look more rugged?

• Sha Gojyo : Holy shit, they're gods.

  Genjo Sanzo : I really hate these guys.

• Sha Gojyo : I really hate guys like you. So willing to lay down your lives for some self-serving despot, yet completely unable to lift a finger to stand up for yourselves.

• Genjo Sanzo : Don't expect me to chant any sutras for you if you croak.

  Sha Gojyo : Yes, sir. I'd sure hate for you to put yourself out, or anything.

• Sha Gojyo : You look a little winded. You should cut back on those cigarettes.

  Dokugakuji : You're one to talk.

• Sha Gojyo : God? Don't you know? God is dead!

• Sha Gojyo : You look a little winded. You should cut back on those cigarettes.

  Sha Gojyo : You're one to talk.

• Cho Hakkai : By the way, I'm willing to bet I'm the first guy you've ever held in your arms.

  Sha Gojyo : That's right, never again.

• Genjo Sanzo : Pardon me, but don't these guys know they're supposed to be our enemies?

  Sha Gojyo : Yeah, so what do you call that thing on your shoulders, huh?

• Sha Gojyo : I ain't dyin'. And I tell ya, I super hate to lose.

  Genjo Sanzo : Don't say super.

  Sha Gojyo : What should I say? Hella hate?

• Genjo Sanzo : Sheesh. I thought one Goku was bad enough.

  Sha Gojyo : You should think of all of the trouble they'll cause for other folks.

  Cho Hakkai : Besides, illegal copies are an infringement of copyright.

• Sha Gojyo : For your information, this is the one and only time I take a man to bed, got it?

• Sha Gojyo : You damn Buddha thumper.

• Sha Gojyo : Though I did spend some time with a tall, dysfunctional blond, an impulsive, excitable little airhead, and I had an emotionally unstable head case with a pretty face shack up with me for a while.

• Goku : Why would a demon com all that way just to eat a Sanzo? Are Sanzos that tasty?

  Sha Gojyo : Now don't you go getting any funny ideas, hear me?

  Genjo Sanzo : I seem to recall the spider woman saying something about eating holy monks. Interesting. Apparently a healthy serving of monks helps you live longer.

  Cho Hakkai : So eating a high ranking monk like a Sanzo is as good as eating your fruits and vegetables when you're a demon, is that it?

  Sha Gojyo : You've got to be shitting me.

• Cho Hakkai : Being a Sanzo doesn't necessarily make you as strong as a demon. He was probably a proper, serious, ordinary, very devout Sanzo.

  Sha Gojyo , Goku : Oh, right, gotcha.

  Genjo Sanzo : What do you mean by that?

• Cho Hakkai : I think Sanzo's starting to warm up a little.

  Sha Gojyo : He can be twisted at times, but

  [lisping] 

  Sha Gojyo : it's kinda nice to see his feminine side.

• Sha Gojyo : You, dying of hunger? That's I'd like to see.

  Genjo Sanzo : What's wrong, Goku?

  [Goku faints] 

  Cho Hakkai : Goku!

  Sha Gojyo : I'll go get you some food right away! Just hold on! Don't die on me monkey.

  [Goku sits up happily] 

  Goku : In that case, I'll take some pot stickers.

  [Gojyo smacks him] 

• Lirin : Hey guys!

  Genjo Sanzo : No, it can't be.

  Sha Gojyo : If it itsn't Sanzo's little pet. Look at Sanzo has a little pet.

  Genjo Sanzo : Peeve. Pet peeve. I hate her.

• Genjo Sanzo : What a persistent little f...

  Sha Gojyo : I envy you man. Why don't the chicks pursue me like this, Sanzo?

  Genjo Sanzo : I will kill you.

• Lirin : Okay, bald Sanzo, here I come!

  Genjo Sanzo : Goku, you fight her.

  Goku : Oh, kick ass! Why'd you choose me?

  Sha Gojyo : Makes sense. She's your size.

  Goku : But Hakkai's the one who's good with children.

  Cho Hakkai : No, no! Gojyo's the one that's good with women.

  Sha Gojyo : Yeah, but she's, she's Sanzo's girlfriend.

  Genjo Sanzo : You're askin' for it.

• Goku : [looking at the sunset]  It's more beautiful than a meat bun!

  Sha Gojyo : That's quite an endorsement.

  Cho Hakkai : Come to think of it, we're always heading towards the setting sun, aren't we?

  [sigh] 

  Cho Hakkai : Ah, sweet youth!

  Sha Gojyo : [bursts out laughing]  Ah sweet youth!

  [keeps laughing] 

  Cho Hakkai : It wasn't that bad, now was it?

• Cho Hakkai : Boy we sure did leave a mess.

  Sha Gojyo : And trash pickup isn't until Thursday.

• Sha Gojyo : It looks like a giant turd.

  Cho Hakkai : You are so grossing me out, you know that?