The Thorns (TV Series 1988– ) Poster

(1988– )

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8/10
NYC 400 - #321 - "The Thorns"
DeanNYC1 May 2024
At this point in history, 1988, we're at the end of Ronald Reagan's second term. We've been through the Yuppies and the Nouveau Riche, the "Lifestyles of the Rich & Famous" is a guilty pleasure watch, and we have all of the meaning that those things represented. Being wealthy, mattered. And this show brought that point home in an enormous and at times, ugly way.

Let's start with the theme song, which was sung by Broadway Diva Dorothy Loudon, performing the song in a nightclub setting for an audience of attentive patrons in the program's opening credits. The reason why it sounds like a lost track from the classic musical, Cabaret, is because it was written by John Kander and Fred Ebb. Dorothy croons:

We've millions of unemployed/and beggars you can't avoid/It's pitiful, dear/but WE'RE alright.

That perfectly sets the tone for this story about the titular couple, Sloan and Ginger Thorn, played by Tony Roberts and Kelly Bishop. The Thorns are opportunists, social climbers and are intent on inserting themselves into The Social Register in any way they can. Forget about "the little people." The Thorns want to be Big Wheels, and are willing to do whatever it takes. Of course, Sloan is doing the ideal job for all of that: he runs a PR firm.

The Thorns have a staff... a maid, who happens to be French, Toinette (pronounced like "Antoinette," without the "An"), played by long time character actress and Tony Award winner Mary Louise Wilson, Their lively babysitter Cricket, played by Lori Petty, takes care of their three kids (since Mom and Dad can't be bothered): Chad (Adam Biesk), Joey (Lisa Rieffel) and Edmund (Jesse L. Tendler).

Mrs. Thorn's case of affluenza is SO acute, she's trying to get in good with a certain Mrs. Hamilton, the second richest woman in America, hoping to join various organizations, like the "Betsy Ross Society," so she can have the credentials of Old Wealth. She uses Peggy, Mrs. Hamilton's maid, and Toinette's friend, played by Maureen Stapleton, to try to find out some facts about Peggy's reclusive boss, whom she has never met nor seen.

But the surprise is that Peggy is, in fact, Mrs. Hamilton, who has been keeping an eye on these parvenus, even as she helps them out, occasionally. It's just another stumbling block on the road to the top for The Thorns!

New York played a part because this is the place where the most elite of Americans exist, and though they might have summer houses in The Hamptons, or Hilton Head, or they might winter in Boca or Cabo, it's always about New York - Park Avenue, Fifth Avenue, Central Park West, and the pre-war buildings, mansions and sky-high duplexes that are the level of success being sought.

It's also worth mentioning that this show was exec produced by Mike Nichols, and was co-created by Allan Leicht, who was a big contributor to another show we've referenced several times on this list, "Kate & Allie." I don't mean to say that "K&A" is some kind of hub for all NYC shows, but it just happens that people that worked on that program also worked on many of these other shows set in New York... and that makes sense because they have the knowledge and experience to give the flavor of the city to these programs.

Maybe the element of this show that doomed it was the fact that The Thorns put this kind of selfish, opportunistic, "Me First" behavior front and center for the wealthy, and doesn't that make the potential working class viewers understand what's really going on with these supposed genial and caring well-to-do types? I would say a show like this should be on the screen now, except I know it would do as well today as it did during the Eighties, and would probably get pulled as quickly as possible from whatever network was showing it as it did, back then.

We can't be too critical of the rich (and of those that aspire to be).
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10/10
The show was too ahead of any time.
bettesbaby15 July 2006
The person who posted a comment hit the nail on the head. The Thorns was the best. It had a lot of potential. I believe that it wasn't that it was too ahead of it's time but that the upper crust did not like that other, "lower class", less influential people (those that make less that $125,000 a quarter) should see that their lives are as shallow as depicted, full of cracks or that they aren't as grand as they want others to seem. I have met those sort of people. If they drop something important and you pick it up for them and hand it to them and say, "here, you dropped this," they either look at you like they can't understand English, that anything you say is so beneath them or they call security for disturbing them. But on the flip side I have met some that were so cool, nice, etc. This show featured a very shallow side of the rich life, which exists.

This show was WAY ahead of it's time.

The Chinese restaurant next door was so like the on going joke in Keeping Up Appearances, an English show that aired two years after this program.
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10/10
way ahead of its time
Sylviastel21 June 2002
In 1988, ABC aired this sitcom about social climbing New Yorkers, the Thorns, and their highly dysfunctional family. I taped all 7 aired episodes on one tape. The Thorns were way ahead of its time in 1988. They exposed seedy life of Upper East Side New Yorkers with wealth to buy their reputations. The Thorns had such guest stars like Christine Baranski before her Cybill fame, Maureen Stapleton,and the late William Roerick. Kelly and TOny were exquisite in their roles as parents and unfaithful spouses. It was well-written and directed but too intelligent for the audience then and probably now. The pilot plot featured around fundraising party at the Thorns Upper East Side townhouse. The Thorns put the family dog to sleep to avoid it disturbing the party. Their youngest son begins to act like a dog as a reaction to his death. Then their paternal grandmother arrives from Brooklyn, her apartment building burns down. Ginger Thorn replies "It's probably an improvement." The Thorns are forced to put Grandma THorn in the dog's room. Yes, the dog had his own room. Grandma THorn now deals with her youngest grandson's dilemma. She comes down in her nightgown during the party to fetch her grandson. This show had so much potential but not enough viewers at the time. Kelly Bishop and TOny Roberts headed this cast for 7 episodes until it became cancelled by network politics and not enough interest. Maybe the ABC network felt the show was too similar to their own lives and decided to shelve it to avoid criticism. The Thorns made New York City to be equally shallow and depth as a puddle on the street. Sorry it didn't last longer or nobody else picked it up at the time. It was well worth taping all of it.
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