Sun, Jan 7, 1996
Al buys a satellite dish from a discount store and he and Jefferson insist on installing it themselves. Bud is turned down for a loan at every bank in Chicago and borrows money from Vito, a mobster. He uses the money to finance an exercise video staring Kelly and a Latino hunk named Rafael. But, Kelly and Rafael get into a fight over who will star in the video, prompting them to storm off to their dressing rooms. Meanwhile, Bud learns that Vito is dangerous and needs the video completed on time.
Sun, Jan 14, 1996
Vito's hatchet man, Gino, tells Bud that he has until 5:00pm to finish the exercise video or he will be sleeping with the fishes. Kelly and Rafael's continuing arguments over which one of them will star in the video has Bud sweating. But things take an unexpected turn when Bud unwittingly videotapes Gino talking to another mob associate incriminating evidence against Vito. Meanwhile, Peggy, Marcy, and their friends think that their husbands are totally useless as they count the number of times they fall off the roof trying to install the satellite dish. But Al, Jefferson, Griff, Officer Dan, Ike, and Bob Rooney have completed the dish and set up a comfortable safe haven for them on the roof.
Sun, Feb 4, 1996
Al wants to beat rival shoe-shop owner Babcock in something and puts his faith in Bud, who's in the same entrepreneurial-studies class at Trumaine as Babcock's son Little Floyd. Each boy must come up with a product and a marketing campaign for it Al sees that he'll get his revenge if Bud's project gets a better grade than Little Floyd's. When Kelly brings home a sexy-guys calendar, Bud decides to make a Girls of Trumaine calendar. All goes well, especially with stunning cover girl Crystal Clark--until, sounding very troubled, she has second thoughts about appearing in the calendar. Meanwhile, Peg is on the road searching for her dad to save her parents' marriage.
Sun, Feb 11, 1996
It is Marcy and Jefferson's wedding anniversary, but Jefferson is in the hospital, recovering from a physical trauma. Kelly and Bud visit Jefferson and he recounts the events that led to his being hospitalized, starting with the party that the other members of No Ma'am threw at him in the nude bar.
Sun, Feb 18, 1996
Bud and his three "frat bros," Hindu Achmed, fatso Hummer, and nerdy Barney, are set to leave for Spring Break in Fort Lauderdale in hopes of scoring some drunken babes. They have the tickets and the hotel reservation. That is, until Kelly, the naughty Fawn, the steamy Ashley, and the nerdy (but minus the headgear) Natalie, make them believe that they want to spend Spring Break with Bud and his pals. The girls say that in order to cheat on their boyfriends with Bud and his pals they need the tickets and reservation in order to "send away the boyfriends" and the con succeeds. Meanwhile, Al and Griff sell a lot of shoes for girls leaving for Spring Break and wish they also could go, leaving them in a cold and powerless shoe store during a city-wide blackout resulting from a blizzard. Jefferson arrives and lets it slip that he's going to Fort Lauderdale to act as a judge in a beauty contest, behind Marcy's back, of course. Al and Griff then realize they can spend the money to go to Fort Lauderdale. Marcy arrives at the Bundys to find the boys still waiting for the girls to arrive. Together, they witness the girls, as well as Al, Griff, and Jefferson on TV at Fort Lauderdale. Marcy and the boys decide to go after them to get revenge.
Sun, Feb 25, 1996
Al, Jefferson, and Griff are having the time of their lives at Fort Lauderdale; Al even finds a new way to earn money by collecting empty cans. The girls are prepping Kelly for the beauty competition. Meanwhile, Marcy and the boys experience some car problems on the way from Chicago to Fort Lauderdale and have to bow to the demands of a purvey Tennessee car mechanic in order to get new wheels. The girls bump into Al and his pals at their hotel suite during a party. Al doesn't want Kelly to take part in some sleazy contest...that is until he learns that the prize is $100,000.
Sun, Mar 17, 1996
Marcy is up for a promotion, but to get promoted, she needs to impress her Japanese boss, Mr. Shimokawa, by serving him dinner and presenting him her grateful neighbors, the Japanese Bundys. Of course, she needs to bribe the real Bundys to stay out of sight for the duration of the visit. However, it just happens that Mr. Shimokawa hears the sound of Al's Dodge 1971, a car missing from his collection. To ensure her promotion, Marcy needs the car for Mr. Shimokawa. But what will it take to get Al to give up his car?
Sun, Mar 24, 1996
Al decides to build a dog house for Lucky. But when he makes an absurd amount of noise in the back yard, Marcy bribes a building inspector to inspect Al's work just to harass him. When the inspector tells him that the house is not up to its "code," Al, with Kelly's wealthy boyfriend Carlos, tear it down and rebuild it again and again to get it right. Meanwhile, Kelly desperately tries to get Carlos's attention. She spends a lot of Al's money (which he swindles from Carlos) to go to the salon to achieve the natural look of the women of his village. Thus, she is spending a lot of money to look like she has spent no money on her looks. Bud says, "you are your mother's daughter." Kelly says, "Well, duh..." Carlos has spent a lot of money to come to America to get away from women of his village. Al ends up with a lot of Carlos's money.
Sun, Apr 14, 1996
In this pilot for a proposed TV series, a group of "friends" live in a sometimes peaceful co-existence. Tom is a handsome deliveryman living with his gorgeous girlfriend Shannon, his stepsister Maria, and their lazy friend Jackson. Tom is on the rocks with Shannon again over their flirtations with other people. When Tom meets Kelly Bundy while delivering a package to the Bundy house, he asks her out for the evening. To make Tom jealous, Shannon asks out a handsome millionaire named Henry and the four of them end up at the local greasy-spoon diner in the inner city, which is run by friendly cook George. The evening gets more X-rated when Tom and Shannon try to outdo each other with their dates.
Sun, Apr 28, 1996
Bud has invited not-too-bright student Ariel to play the "Strip Study" game, to prepare for upcoming exams he has to pass in order to graduate. Despite years of not ending up getting some, Bud gets lucky but falls asleep and realizes that in order to be able to concentrate on studying, he has to give up everything that reminds him of sex. This proves to be quite difficult. In order to find a place where nothing turns him on, Bud goes to the library. Surely he can forget about sex there?
Sun, May 5, 1996
Marcy will not let Jefferson back in the house until he finds a job, so he hangs around at the Bundys. Bud gets Kelly a part in a Romantic Roast coffee commercial and when Kelly's co-star fails to perform up to expectations, Bud gets Jefferson the part. Jefferson's character Lance wins him legions of female fans which upsets Marcy but also ensures that two more commercials will be made with Kelly and Jefferson. But how will Al react when the script demands that Kelly and Jefferson kiss?
Sat, Sep 28, 1996
Bud has discovered that Ariel gets turned on by life-threatening situations and has decided to stage a fake tornado in order to get some from Ariel while they seek shelter in the Bundys' basement. Peg confirms that danger does in deed turn women on. However, a real twister appears in Chicago and the rest of the Bundys and the Jeffersons also have to seek shelter in the Bundys' basement. Which also means that Peg and Marcy get turned on...
Sat, Oct 12, 1996
In order to get a $20,000 contract of a model for a national olive oil brand, Kelly has to sign a Morals Clause, which requires that she remain chaste. This proves to be a difficult task. Meanwhile, Al hears that Officer Dan is appearing in Al's favorite TV show, Cops, and blackmails him to become his partner.
Sun, Nov 10, 1996
Al's beloved Dodge is fading away. Through a frantic "emergency operation," Al manages to "stabilize" the Dodge's condition, but it still needs constant "life support". He is unwilling to let the Dodge go because he has fond memories of his father and the car, so he calls for a car doctor, who sees that the Dodge needs a fuel pump "transplant". Since those fuel pumps are a rarity, the doctor suggests that the car be "harvested" for spare parts instead, which would sell for a high price. This, of course, is completely unacceptable to Al. While he fights to keep the Dodge "alive" and looks for a new fuel pump, Peg and the kids already start auctioning the spare parts.
Sun, Nov 17, 1996
Al buries his "dead" Dodge in his backyard and has a funeral ceremony for it. The collectors still desire the spare parts and Peg still intends to sell them. At Bud's request, Marcy goes through Al's financial records and declares that Al can't afford a new car. Al decides to prove her wrong and goes to a car dealer. Meanwhile, Jefferson's secret past helps him to locate a fuel pump for Al's old Dodge.
Sun, Nov 24, 1996
It's Thanksgiving. In Al's childhood, it was a tradition to eat aunt Maddie's potato pie on Thanksgiving, so Al takes a trip with Griff to see aunt Maddie in order to buy some pie. Unfortunately it turns out that she's just died. Jefferson can't find a turkey for Marcy because they've sold out. Then a stray turkey just happens to follow Kelly home. Will Kelly let the others eat it?
Sun, Dec 1, 1996
Peggy wants to take a holiday in Branson, Missouri, but Al says he can't afford it. The prospect of all-fried food and only twin beds available, however, make him change his mind. Lucky has to stay behind in the care of the D'Arcy's. Then Marcy feels the urge to act out a dirty fantasy at the Bundy's. In Branson, the Bundy's get a room at the Deliverance Inn (yes, just like that movie). Peg and Kelly take part in a country music talent contest.
Sun, Dec 22, 1996
It's Christmas. Al doesn't want a Christmas tree, the rest of the family do. Marcy is determined to win the neighborhood decorating contest. Gary hires two young guys, Hal and Biff, to help Al and Griff at the shoe store. Someone (actually Bud and Kelly) kidnaps Mary and Joseph from Marcy's Nativity Scene and demand $500 in ransom. Hal and Biff turn out to be such good workers that Gary decides to replace Al and Griff with them, permanently.