Tien crafts a strangely enjoyable web of utter and absolute confusion out of numerous flying samurai, an elixir called "The Purple Jade Badger" that makes it's consumer invincible (except in respect to things that can kill you), a lady samurai described as a "horrible nymphomaniac", and a wedding that never takes place. Bizarre and dumbfounding; therefore wonderful.
8 Reviews
A wildly entertaining, daringly disjointed, DMT-laced, deliriously high-flying fight flick!
Weirdling_Wolf7 February 2022
Li Chao Yung's deliriously demented, kaleidoscopically cracked Kung Fu phantasmagoria 'Jade Dagger Ninja' (1982) aka 'Shaolin Fox Conspiracy' is a wildly entertaining, daringly disjointed, DMT-laced, deliriously high-flying fight flick that opens outrageously with a truly dazzling display of balletic, blood-splashed, bad guy goring brilliance! With its wickedly exaggerated, noodle-twistingly violent, hyper-kinetic fisticuffs, wildly acrobatic, crimson-slashed sword fights, this bizarrely underrepresented, sardonically dubbed, synapse shattering, super-schizoid, logic-baiting martial arts mayhem is a must-see surrealistically senseless, hyperbolically absurd, deliriously double-dealing, midnight movie disasterpiece! 'Jade Dagger Ninja' is deliciously convoluted magical Elixir seeking, green-skinned demon-incarnating, psychedelicized pugilism done right!
It rarely makes a lick of narrative sense, and frequently lacks the graceful elan of The Shaw Brothers, but none of that matters one measly jot, as this fearlessly far out fight-flick is consistently crazier than crotch full of angry blowfish, and no less exhilarating! While 'Jade Dagger Ninja' certainly won't dethrone 'King Boxer', out decapitate 'Master of the Flying Guillotine', or righteously beat down 'The Prodigal Son' as top tier Kung Fu classics; trash movie terrorists, and warped aficionados of Joseph Lai's insanely incongruous cut n' paste Ninja WTF mania should groove to this oddball Grindhouse Kung Fu freak-show's relentlessly outlandish oeuvre! And how could any serious thrill-seeking cineaste not find the most sublime cult movie edification in a brain-bogglingly bellicose blockbuster that includes the refined, emotionally penetrating, resonating prosody of "Your kung-fu is good...but I wonder, how would you be in bed????' along with 'You're a hard and fast fighter, I wonder if you're hard and fast where it counts!' and, finally, the immaculate repost: 'You're the famous four kings, are you? You're no forking good!! Phooking deadly lyrical genius, mayte!
It rarely makes a lick of narrative sense, and frequently lacks the graceful elan of The Shaw Brothers, but none of that matters one measly jot, as this fearlessly far out fight-flick is consistently crazier than crotch full of angry blowfish, and no less exhilarating! While 'Jade Dagger Ninja' certainly won't dethrone 'King Boxer', out decapitate 'Master of the Flying Guillotine', or righteously beat down 'The Prodigal Son' as top tier Kung Fu classics; trash movie terrorists, and warped aficionados of Joseph Lai's insanely incongruous cut n' paste Ninja WTF mania should groove to this oddball Grindhouse Kung Fu freak-show's relentlessly outlandish oeuvre! And how could any serious thrill-seeking cineaste not find the most sublime cult movie edification in a brain-bogglingly bellicose blockbuster that includes the refined, emotionally penetrating, resonating prosody of "Your kung-fu is good...but I wonder, how would you be in bed????' along with 'You're a hard and fast fighter, I wonder if you're hard and fast where it counts!' and, finally, the immaculate repost: 'You're the famous four kings, are you? You're no forking good!! Phooking deadly lyrical genius, mayte!
Strange and cheesy kung fu film
bao25 February 2000
If your looking for a good kung fu film, this isn't it. But it makes a great "midnight movie". This film mostly features swordplay that is nothing spectacular. It's charm lies in its bizarre style. It rips off soundtracks to other films such as Flash Gordon which adds to this style. It has interesting costumes and backdrops. The coolest part of the film is when the villain transforms into creature that looks like a cross between the incredible hulk and santa claus. A truly great film if you like wierd stuff, but not a good kung fu film if you are a fan of the genre.
The Most Horrifying Phony Violence I've Ever Seen!!!
robmaguire711 February 2000
This movie, nay, FILM, is nothing short of a masterpiece! Roc Tien literally throws the viewer in medias res, and the action is relentless! The action is so spectacular it defies the laws of psychics! The denouement of Shaolin Fox Conspiracy (brilliant title!) would make Kurosawa green with jealousy. Some guy drinks some kind of elixir (Purple Jade Badger?), turns blue and starts running amok and killing indiscriminately anyone who opposes him. In a scene that will leave you speechless, the blue guy actually breaks someone in two! My God, I'm still having nightmares! Forget The Matrix, see this work of genius at once!!!!
Amazing Piece of Asian Cinema
junk-1862 September 2006
Calling this Asian cinema is an insult to every country in Asia that wasn't responsible for this piece of garbage. It's so bad that it's entertaining.
You can't only tell scenes they reused backgrounds and footage, you can tell scenes they reused film. I bought the DVD of this movie because I had to see whether the transparent count-down 8 in the background was just bad VCR tape; it wasn't. The "purple jade badger" is the worst name for an idol ever; is jade even purple? I thought it was green.
As another poster put it, it's like watching a train wreck. Myself and a few friends watched it while we were drunk, it was a hilarious night. Surprisingly, we found it at a Jumbo Video on VHS. I do really recommend it if you like bad movies.
You can't only tell scenes they reused backgrounds and footage, you can tell scenes they reused film. I bought the DVD of this movie because I had to see whether the transparent count-down 8 in the background was just bad VCR tape; it wasn't. The "purple jade badger" is the worst name for an idol ever; is jade even purple? I thought it was green.
As another poster put it, it's like watching a train wreck. Myself and a few friends watched it while we were drunk, it was a hilarious night. Surprisingly, we found it at a Jumbo Video on VHS. I do really recommend it if you like bad movies.
bizarre and campy movie
Onibaka26 February 2006
Now, in all honesty, I gave this movie 4 out of 10 stars because of the sheer camp factor and absurdity of this movie. I've seen many martial arts movies of questionable taste and unthinkable content, but this one sets a bar or two. Fight scenes are surprisingly cool and the costumes and makeup are just too funny, almost like they tried to make it look as hilarious as possible. Excuse my vagueness on this movie, but you have to see it to really understand how I feel about it. Think Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon on crack - honestly, it's that weird. In another note, it is also the first time I have ever seen a Chinese Hulk. Get this movie.
This is by far the very worst movie I have ever watched more than once!
LithKnight30 June 2001
This is by far the very worst movie I have ever watched more than once. From the cheesey editing, silly sound effects, flying people, all the way through the "borrowed" music from Flash Gordon you have to keep watching (like train wreck) to see what will happen next. This film is so bad that it can wrap back around to good with a few friends and a few drinks.
The martial arts action is outrageous but enjoyable. The poorly translated dialog borders on MST3K material by itself.
If you like stupid chop-suey flicks, this is the king.
I had to give it a 5, right in the middle. Is it so bad it's good or so good it is bad?
The martial arts action is outrageous but enjoyable. The poorly translated dialog borders on MST3K material by itself.
If you like stupid chop-suey flicks, this is the king.
I had to give it a 5, right in the middle. Is it so bad it's good or so good it is bad?
The surreal elements are great; a pity most of the film's a bore
Leofwine_draca7 August 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This low budget, studio bound Taiwanese production desperately tries to emulate the Shaw Brothers films that were so popular at the time of its release. Sadly, this poor man's kung fu film fails miserably, although it's one of those drug-inspired films in which the director appeared to be high for much of the shoot, packing in a ton of craziness and cinematic insanity that livens up the fight scenes no end. It's just a shame that 90% of the film is made up of talky dialogue scenes, including the worst ever dubbed female (the British accent she's given is simply appalling). Add to this stilted dialogue an extremely convoluted and confusing plot – involving lots of different rival factions who probe each other's secrets and kill each other – and you have a film that should be an unwatchable mess. And it very nearly is.
The casting is nothing to write home about; there are a few familiar faces, but nobody really shines, unless it's Roc Tien's acrobatic hero. One of the film's problems is that there's nobody really to root for – instead of having one hero, there are a number of them, and they all look and dress alike which doesn't really help matters. The fight scenes are sloppily edited and often defy the laws of gravity, which is kind of fun if you're in the right mood, but they do become repetitive. Which really leaves me to pick out the individual scenes that stop this film from being totally bad. Firstly, the opening arm-chopping fight is good fun, although it promises the type of gory action that never arrives. Later we get the classic line of dialogue "You're the famous four kings? Well, your kung fu is no four-king good!", which easily enters the realms of the so-bad-it's-good. A nymphomaniac woman fighter makes a change from the normally proud, sedate females seen in these period flicks, although her innuendos quickly become tiring and you hope somebody'll stick a sharp stick in hero. A flying guillotine makes a brief appearance for all of ten seconds, and it's a shame it didn't feature more predominantly. Then there's another shot where a flying man is impaled on the top of a sword and hangs there, like a sausage on a cocktail stick, once more defying the laws of gravity (I think the director must have been inspired by THE WARRIOR when he filmed this moment).
Still, the best part of the film is the climax, which sees the villain drink the magic potion, which turns him into a Hulk-style roaring monster with hilarious long, white, bushy hair. Watching the beast run around, throwing people around and bending one guy in half, head-to-toes, is great fun, and it's even more entertaining when somebody sticks a blade in his bonce and ends his reign of terror once and for all. It's a shame that the rest of the film didn't have this kind of novel, anything-goes spirit. As it is, I've made the film sound better than it really is; it really drains the stamina watching it and boredom sets in around the ten minute mark. I dare you to watch it without resorting to the fast-forward button
The casting is nothing to write home about; there are a few familiar faces, but nobody really shines, unless it's Roc Tien's acrobatic hero. One of the film's problems is that there's nobody really to root for – instead of having one hero, there are a number of them, and they all look and dress alike which doesn't really help matters. The fight scenes are sloppily edited and often defy the laws of gravity, which is kind of fun if you're in the right mood, but they do become repetitive. Which really leaves me to pick out the individual scenes that stop this film from being totally bad. Firstly, the opening arm-chopping fight is good fun, although it promises the type of gory action that never arrives. Later we get the classic line of dialogue "You're the famous four kings? Well, your kung fu is no four-king good!", which easily enters the realms of the so-bad-it's-good. A nymphomaniac woman fighter makes a change from the normally proud, sedate females seen in these period flicks, although her innuendos quickly become tiring and you hope somebody'll stick a sharp stick in hero. A flying guillotine makes a brief appearance for all of ten seconds, and it's a shame it didn't feature more predominantly. Then there's another shot where a flying man is impaled on the top of a sword and hangs there, like a sausage on a cocktail stick, once more defying the laws of gravity (I think the director must have been inspired by THE WARRIOR when he filmed this moment).
Still, the best part of the film is the climax, which sees the villain drink the magic potion, which turns him into a Hulk-style roaring monster with hilarious long, white, bushy hair. Watching the beast run around, throwing people around and bending one guy in half, head-to-toes, is great fun, and it's even more entertaining when somebody sticks a blade in his bonce and ends his reign of terror once and for all. It's a shame that the rest of the film didn't have this kind of novel, anything-goes spirit. As it is, I've made the film sound better than it really is; it really drains the stamina watching it and boredom sets in around the ten minute mark. I dare you to watch it without resorting to the fast-forward button
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