When Women Had Tails (1970) User Reviews

Positives: Senta Berger - Negatives: Everything Else

[bensonmum2 · 3/10 · 26 July 2008]

I readily admit that I watch a lot of really bad movies. But there are very few that I can think of that are quite as bad as When Women Had Tails. It's a stinker of epic proportions. What should have been a sexy comedy about a group of cavemen discovering a woman for the first time is instead a dull, lifeless affair without a single laugh to be had. The comedy is extremely weak. I suppose if you think bashing someone in the head is funny, you might find a laugh or two. The guys in this movie make the Three Stooges look like high art. And there's just not enough of a plot to hold the thing together. It seems to drag on and on and on.

Well, you may be asking yourself, "If it's as bad as you say, why haven't you rated it lower than a 3/10?" Good question! And I've got two answers. First, the movie is not without its curiosity value. I do find a bit of interest in an Italian spoof of movies like One Million Years B.C. with Raquel Welch. I'll give When Women Had Tails a point for its historic "value". The other two points are for the mere presence of Senta Berger. I know it's not much of an explanation or reasoning for a rating, but what are you going to do? It's the best I can come up with.

When Women Had Tails

[BandSAboutMovies · 3/10 · 5 February 2024]

When Women Had Tails was directed by Pasquale Festa Campanile (Autostop rosso sangue), who wrote it with Marcello Coscia and Lina Wertmüller. Yes, 1970s art house film director Lina Wertmüller. The first woman to ever be nominated for a Best Director Oscar.

It's the story of seven cavemen who were sent on a boat - Ulli (Giuliano Gemma), Kao (Lando Buzzanca), Grr (Frank Wolff), Maluc (Renzo Montagnani), Put (Lino Toffolo), Uto (Francesco Mulé) and Zog (Aldo Giuffrè) - and now they live alone on a small island. One day, they find what they think is an animal in their trap but its really a woman named Filli (Senta Berger). As you can guess, she upsets their natural order even more than the beat that attacks them. Ulli, being the alpha, must have her and for his lust makes him fight his own brothers.

Somehow, this caveman sex comedy also has a soundtrack written by Ennio Morricone and directed by Bruno Nicolai.

This movie was so popular that it had two sequels, When Men Carried Clubs and Women Played Ding-Dong and When Women Lost Their Tails. As hard as this was to watch, you know that I will also be watching both of those movies.

A 'three stooges' level of comedy with some sexual innuend

[oscar-35 · 21 September 2018]

*Spoiler/plot- When Women had Tails, 1970. A group of orphan cavemen try to understand the complexities of the opposite sex.

*Special Stars- Senta Berger, Giuliano Gemma.

*Theme- Women and me are very different and the difference makes for comedy.

*Trivia/location/goofs- Italian, Look for Senta Berger's hairpiece extensions stuck to cover her ample chest for modesty.

*Emotion- A 'three stooges' level of comedy with some added sexual innuendo of a beautiful lead actress. I found this film to be only seen to view an early acting role of Senta Berger. Any more viewer expectations might be left frustrated.

Senta Berger may rue this

[moonbus-982-519398 · 1/10 · 11 August 2012]

If you are a fan of Senta Berger--surely one of the most handsome actresses ever--then I can imagine you might want to see this. She was certainly capable of better, given a role and a script, and she may rue this film in retrospect; but at least you'll get to see her in a costume you just can't believe stays on her. They must have glued the hair piece to her chest to keep it in place. I saw a German- dubbed version; dire dialog. The humor is moronic: 3-Stooges sort of falling down and beating each other with rubber clubs. This might look better after 3 joints.

Interestingly enough, the extras section contained a trailer for a trashy movie titled Sizzle Beach USA featuring a very young and then-unknown Kevin Costner. What an embarrassment! At least as amusing as the main feature on the DVD.

Plain stupid

[blumdeluxe · 1/10 · 19 October 2018]

"Quando le donne avevano la coda" tells the story of a group of cavemen, living somewhere in the countryside when one day, unexpectedly, they discover a woman for the first time in their lives, dividing the group and establishing greed and jealousy.

I can't say anything good about this movie. Some reviewers call it a dadaistic masterpiece, I'd just call it plain stupid. It delivers slapstick in the worst way, a very strange view on women (even if a woman wrote it) and the intelligence level of a 13 year old hitting puberty. You see that it is professionally produced and that there is some money behind it but in my opinion this could have been put to better use. Maybe it's just not my cup of tea but I really don't get the enthusiasm of some people.

All in all you should probably watch yourself to be able to judge it more objectively, however I can't recommend it because of all the points mentioned above.

Three Stooges Italian-Style

[BaronBl00d · 1/10 · 22 July 2006]

Way back at the dawn of human civilization cavemen sat around and made lame jokes, hit each other over the heads with what ever they could grab, and women were never seen and apparently at one time had tails. These cavemen lived in a geographically diverse region with a cockatoo, a camel, a monkey - but no women. This film tells of the "hilarious" misadventures of seven(or so) cavemen - having burned their land with the new discovery of fire - moving on by water to a new land where they find this woman with the extra appendage. Along the way we get such "great" moments of comedy like a fat cavemen swallowing a frog that keeps croaking in his stomach. A monkey throwing rocks at their heads. A man swallowing a mouse to get the frog in his stomach. The obligatory "gay" caveman. The list could go on and on. This movie is the very definition of cinematic dreck. I was bored from the onset and it only got worse as the cavemen bobbled around hitting each other, making poor jokes such as puns on the word perch, hitting each other, and mauling poor Seta Berger who looks like she lost a bet to a producer to appear in this nonsense. She is indeed one of two bright spots in this film. She isn't much of an actress so you have to guess why she is an ass-et? The other "bright" spot is the music. As soon as I heard the score, I said to myself that it sounded very familiar. I had never heard the actual score but the music was unmistakably that of Ennio Morricone. It's a nice score and the best thing in an otherwise crude, boring, lewd, unimaginative, and ridiculous film essentially about a group of Moes finding a woman for the first time and, first wanting to eat her like some animal, being taught what she could do. Awwwwh! Sorry, I'm stifling a yawn as I relive the plot! The end of the film has some 100 or so mostly naked women on screen with all the erotic feel of pulling a scab off your knee. This movie was painful to sit through and offers nothing of any real merit whatsoever. The fact that it spawned a sequel doesn't surprise me as it offers that one thing which will prick viewer interest - tail.

Absolute garbage

[grybop · 1/10 · 2 January 2002]

Is it possible for a movie to get any worse than this? There's a bunch of apes wandering about, mumbling b******, acting supposedly silly and we are supposed to laugh? There is no plot here to keep you going in the first place. Even when the women finally show up, there is no sign of improvement; the most expected things happen and by the time the film is over, you might be far asleep. Beware: this is not a trashy cult movie, this is trash -period! I can't believe there's even a sequel to this!

1

Caveman meets modern-surrealist-social-DaDa stuff (hint:Lena Wertmuller wrote the screenplay...)

[gitalloyd · 10/10 · 20 June 2005]

This movie is a gas! So, what is bad, anyway? This is an easy favorite if you go for surrealist- social-DaDa-dumb-stuff that is 'beautifully' done (but I like THE SEVEN FACES OF DR LAO too and who's ever heard of that?)... and I watch this movie 'straight' (real ART is all the drug I need) and I love the 'bad' dubbing and the ridiculous music (Ennio Morricone's, remember the great music in THE GOOD THE BAD AND THE UGLY) and costumes... the whole gang of poor orphan cavemen, Zog, Kao, Put(poot) and Grr... Who could hate them? The great beauty show segment! There are priceless moments of 'dumb yet sophisticated' humor. There are fun classic phrases our family loves to repeat like when the caveman Grr says "It was a nice try...there's no need to be so cynical" and " I don't know what he's doing... but I'm next!". The script is chock full of these great modern phrases you would never expect to come out of a group of cavemen and this incongruity is the real comic genius of this film and it sustains it! I've laughed my head off just thinking about them!

Lena Wertmuller wrote the screenplay... famous for Swept Away and Seven Beauties. And I've searched all over to find her attributed to this film! I know she wrote it because we point it out in the credits every time we make our poor normal friends watch it! And yes, take heed, this film is a test. You either love it or hate it, and from the look of the statistics posted here at this website... most of you hate it! Forgive Lena, relax and have some laughs. Watch it with friends. So what if your bored for a few moments here and there? You just need to be brave, you need a bit of the degenerate poet in you... a bit of the "silly intellectual"... a bit of the "foibles of humanity amuse you"... and good luck.

great comedy

[prayer4eev · 10/10 · 5 October 2003]

well, dont expect too much from that movie and u will enjoy it. if u want to see some bits'o'tits - choose another movie. actually u will see some nudity only at the end. Senta Berger is hot and play very well. it's just comedy. 10 out of 10

If you're a teen-ager and really drunk...hey it's funny

[Jomobes-1 · 23 November 2002]

I saw this movie in Aberdeen,S.D. in the summer of 1974, as the third show in a dusk-to-dawn marathon at the local drive-in. There was a car-full of us, well lubricated with wine and weed, and I thought this was one of the funniest pictures I'd ever seen. We practically peed our pants laughing. Fast forward to 1995. I see "When Women Had Tails" at the local video store and,remembering the hilarity, take it home. I got through, maybe 20 minutes. It sucks really bad. Really, really bad. The actors, the script, it all sucks. They didn't even have the decency to show some nudity (I mean...come on,it's supposed to be a sex comedy).

Just goes to show...you were stupid when you were 19. At least I was.

proof of male stupidity

[lee_eisenberg · 10/10 · 2 August 2007]

Now that it was OK to show brainless erotica on screen, they were allowed to make a movie like "Quando le donne avevano la coda" (called "When Women Had Tails" in English). It portrays several witless cavemen finding an island inhabited by scantily clad babe Filli (Senta Berger). Personally, I can't understand why these dopes wanted to devour her, even if they thought that she was an animal; had I seen her, I immediately would have wanted to have sex with her! Anyway, she gets one of them interested in a certain kind of game. Before you know it, they both run off together, but the other men aren't satisfied and chase them.

I should identify that most of the movie consists of scenes in which people club each other askew, asunder, and in other ways. It seems like the sort of movie filmed by a bunch of people getting together for the weekend (possibly for an orgy). But overall, I liked it, if only for the guilty pleasure that it arouses. This is certainly one that you watch to laugh at, nothing serious here. Really fun.

Apparently not a figment of my imagination

[Mindset-2 · 24 February 2001]

There were 150 women at the end of the movie? Honestly, I never made it that far. The product of a really boring graveyard shift at Jumbo Video, my shift partner grabbed this one off the rack because he wanted to watch something with jugs and thought it'd be weird enough for me to give it a try (he was right). I'm sure our copy had the title "The Time Before Women Had Lost Their Tails" (I remember thinking how that didn't make any sense as Filli doesn't have a tail). Painfully juvenile, the cast makes the Teletubbies look like the Marx Bros. In all these years, its never occurred to me that it was Italian. I remember that they were speaking gibberish, but I'm pretty sure it was Caveman gibberish and not a foreign language. Either way, there were no subtitles or dubbing, which didn't make it any easier. Just a lot of gibberish and over-exaggerated mime. Long, boring stretches of attempted situation comedy of the lobotomy-kind, the movie never even rises to its sexploitation ambitions, keeping Filli (Feely) to a bikini minimum (to they dismay of my shift partner who was so perplexed by the movie he watched it like a deer caught in headlights)and hammering its "Johnson" punchline home with such dead horse-brutality that they obviously thought it'd only get funnier with each replay.

I've often heard film critics cry over losing 90 min of their lives to some dreadful movie they've had to watch. They have no idea.

Well done!

[michael-cholewa · 9/10 · 21 May 2020]

From time to time, one must celebrate this film, by Pasquale Festa Campanile. The wonderful music of Morricone alone puts you in a good mood. I think the original is in "Italian" and a good dubbing for this film is absolutely essential, but the rating of 4 is just unfair.

Literally "Chasing Their Tails"

[happipuppi13 · 9/10 · 18 May 2022]

"When Women Had Tails" / "Quando le donne avevano la coda"

I'll start with the English title to the movie, it sounds like a weird storybook for adults. Then again,I guess they couldn't call it "Chasin' Tail" could they? (Or hey....why not?)

I was up late one night a few years ago and there it was on TV.

Yes, compared to mainstream movies and the Oscar winners, this is not.... just "not" in the same league... it's in a whole other dimension in a warped universe.

I'd compare it to a teen-agers first attempt at making his first film. Still, the movie ....it's just silly and fun to laugh at because it's so ridiculous absurd.

I beleive the women have tails, because this is prehistoric women. As shown in the movie, once they 'mate' , their tails fall off.

Simple plot, cavemen are lonely, bored,quite stupid (who's there to teach them anything?)... and getting themselves into one mishap after another. They can only hopefully learn from doing things.

One tries to fly, he crashes. One accidentally gets lit on fire and the smartest of them shouts, "Hey, c-mon! React!" The burning man finally realizes, oh! ....fire hurts.

Anyhow, the .. ahem... men, discover a lone female with, you guessed it, a tail. They all pursue her, wanting to "play". It never occours to them that, where there's one, there must be others, but they all want just her.

Naturally only the best looking caveman gets the girl. The rest eventually find a whole flock of them. They go to the women and party.

The guy and his girl, who's tail has gone bye-bye, are now a couple.

In a voice over, he bemoans the fact that it was he who has now invented "couples" (instead of what's going on in the background.)

I like to watch bad movies, as long as their so bad their funny.

This one is. It's just fun to do and as I've said of a few "so bad their amusing" kind of movies : Laugh at the absurdity, when you can't laugh for the right reason.

There's nothing to take seriously here, so why allow it to make you take it serious, because it's not a high quality production?

9 stars for that reason, dumb "caveman" fun ... not 9 stars because it's up there with the Oscar winning greats . (END)