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Hans Christian Blech,
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Enrico Maria Salerno,
A bunch of 7 orphan cavemen grow up on a little island all by themselves. After a fire burns all vegetation they set out to find a new place to live. Here, one day they trap a strange animal, looking very similar to them, only softer and with longer hair. She (Filli) feels attracted to one of the brothers (Ulli) and convinces him, that a certain kind of playing with each other is far more satisfying than just eating her. He hides her and serves the other cavemen a goat. Soon Ulli and Filli are playing the Johnson-Game quite frequently. But the others find out about this and want to see what's so great with "johnsonning". After they all force Filli to show them the game too, she manages to flee with Ulli. Being pursued by the 6 men of Ulli's clan, they meet the rest of Filli's clan: A tribe of about 150 unsatisfied women, who just love to have new men around for playing. Written by
Julian Reischl <firstname.lastname@example.org>
There were 150 women at the end of the movie? Honestly, I never made it that far. The product of a really boring graveyard shift at Jumbo Video, my shift partner grabbed this one off the rack because he wanted to watch something with jugs and thought it'd be weird enough for me to give it a try (he was right). I'm sure our copy had the title "The Time Before Women Had Lost Their Tails" (I remember thinking how that didn't make any sense as Filli doesn't have a tail). Painfully juvenile, the cast makes the Teletubbies look like the Marx Bros. In all these years, its never occurred to me that it was Italian. I remember that they were speaking gibberish, but I'm pretty sure it was Caveman gibberish and not a foreign language. Either way, there were no subtitles or dubbing, which didn't make it any easier. Just a lot of gibberish and over-exaggerated mime. Long, boring stretches of attempted situation comedy of the lobotomy-kind, the movie never even rises to its sexploitation ambitions, keeping Filli (Feely) to a bikini minimum (to they dismay of my shift partner who was so perplexed by the movie he watched it like a deer caught in headlights)and hammering its "Johnson" punchline home with such dead horse-brutality that they obviously thought it'd only get funnier with each replay.
I've often heard film critics cry over losing 90 min of their lives to some dreadful movie they've had to watch. They have no idea.
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