Top-rated
Wed, Sep 25, 1968
The rock group, Sonny and the Sundowners, is appearing at Carlos' casino. Sonny is an old friend and musical partner of Sister Bertrille's when she was plain old Elsie Ethrington, and she goes to see him. He is thrilled to see her but surprised at her choice of career. When in the natural course of conversation she tells him that the convent is short of money, he suggests to her that she write a song for the group, whose last record sold more than a million copies. He will even give her an advance. Sister Bertrille is excited, and in discussion with the other sisters, they decide not to tell the Reverend Mother of the arrangement, because rock music is in her mind unbecoming and she will probably not approve of the convent making money through such. So the sisters all take on Sister Bertrille's chores while her main task is to compose. After some struggle, she comes up with a simple, pretty, acoustic song. Although the song's not quite in the tone of the Sundowners' music, Sonny likes it, but tells her he needs to tweak it to fit the Sundowners' groove. The song is to be debuted at the concert at the casino to which the sisters are invited. The day of reckoning comes for telling the Reverend Mother; but it's too late as she already knows. She approves of the arrangement and is only disappointed that they felt the need to keep this from her. She even wants to attend the concert with the other sisters. Sister Bertrille's song is the first one sung at the concert. Or is it really Sister Bertrille's song. Sonny has turned it into a psychedelic head-trip rock song. The Reverend Mother is not amused. Sister Bertrille is also not amused, but is more disappointed. She feels she can't accept the advance for the song since what Sonny and the Sundowners performed was not her song. It isn't until Sister Bertrille performs the song the way that she wrote it that the Reverend Mother understands. So does Manny Julian, Sonny's manager, who still wants to use the song and pay the sister for it. Instead of for Sonny and the Sundowners, Manny will give the song to his one other client: The Salt Lake City Boys Choir.
Wed, Oct 2, 1968
The new Captain of Police, Gaspar Fomento, is frequenting the convent's bazaar. Carlos has donated a lot to the bazaar, has won some of his donations back, and the captain has lost much. He has suspicions that the convent and Carlos are working together in a gambling ring. His suspicions increase when Sister Bertrille, in order to placate the captain, gives him back his losings from the bazaar, which the captain thinks is a bribe. To gather evidence, the captain sends in one of his assistants, Nacio, to work undercover at the convent. Nacio is working undercover of his own, as a real life bookie. When Sisters Jacqueline and Bertrille discover Nacio is taking bets at the convent, they want to warn him not to come back as they believe Captain Fomento is on to him. The captain overhears the sisters talking about horse racing and bookies, strengthening his suspicions about the illegal gambling by the sisters. Sister Bertrille goes to the race track to warn Nacio, but also to fill him in on Sister Jacqueline's expert opinions on the miserable bets that Nacio will be making. When Nacio sees Sister Bertrille fly, he figures he'd be crazy not to do what the sister tells him. In the meantime, Captain Fomento has hauled all the sisters and Carlos down to the police station to arrest them for illegal gambling. When Carlos arrives, he tells the captain that Nacio was the one doing illegal activities and was originally doing it from the police station. Before leaving San Juan for good, Nacio placed a long shot bet on one of Sister Jacqueline's picks, the bet on behalf of the convent and which paid off. The convent is $500 richer, and Chief Galindo, Captain Fomento's superior, strips Captain Fomento of his stripes due to his failure in this investigation.
Wed, Oct 9, 1968
The Temple Beth Sholom overseen by Rabbi Mendez is the only synagogue in San Juan. Rabbi Mendez has a problem. Engaged couple Alfredo Acquilar and Sophia Baldazon want to get married but the temple is too small to hold all their invited guests. So Sister Bertrille convinces all to hold the ceremony on the grounds of the convent. All is going well until Alfredo, a heavy gambler, loses his honeymoon money at Carlos' casino. Sister Bertrille wants Carlos to show Alfredo and Sophia, who happens to be his bookkeeper, some kindness and "return" the money via losing at a fixed craps game using loaded dice. Carlos is reluctant since he does run a legitimate business, but concedes as usual to Sister Bertrille wishes. She convinces Alfredo to go along with it since she says she had a premonition of him winning at something that looked liked craps. Two unfortunate things happen during the craps game. First, Alfredo refuses to stop after he wins back his honeymoon money. And second, Captain Fomento comes by the casino and finds the loaded dice. Carlos is thrown in jail. Carlos is furious with Sister Bertrille, but his anger softens when Captain Fomento drops the charges on the advice of Rabbi Mendez. So Alfredo and Sophia get married and live happily ever after. But first Carlos has to bail out Alfredo once again with the provision of his yacht as Alfredo lost the honeymoon money at yet another casino.
Wed, Oct 16, 1968
Sister Bertrille needs to see Dr. Paredes, the dentist, to have a toothache fixed, but Sister Bertrille is scared of dentists. So the Reverend Mother goes with her to hold her hand. To calm Sister Bertrille's nerves, Dr. Paredes puts her under hypnosis. However the Reverend Mother accidentally gets hypnotized at the same time. Fascinated by this, Carlos wants to see the results of the hypnosis, and as a lark, Dr. Paredes gives them a post-hypnotic suggestion: every time they hear the word "red", Sister Bertrille will act like the Reverend Mother and the Reverend Mother will act like Sister Bertrille. It works. Before Dr. Paredes needs to rush off, he fixes Sister Bertrille's tooth and brings both women out of hypnosis. However he forgets to remove the post-hypnotic suggestion. Unfortunately, this act coincides with Father Lundigan's visit to the convent, Father Lundigan the church's psychiatrist. Last Father Lundigan visited, he had a year of therapy since all the sisters tried to convince him that Sister Bertrille could fly and he thought he imagined Sister Bertrille flying outside his airborne airplane (it actually was her). Father Lundigan says "red" in front of the women, and they start acting like each other. The worse part about it is that the Reverend Mother believes she can fly as she is acting like Sister Bertrille. Father Lundigan thinks the sisters are once again going crazy and quickly rushes off back to the mainland to provide his report as such to the bishop. Just as Father Lundigan leaves, Dr. Paredes arrives to take the post-hypnotic suggestion off. Once back to their own selves, Sister Bertrille finds out from Sister Jacqueline about Father Lundigan's visit. The only thing Sister Bertrille can do to convince the Father that she can fly is to fly up to his airborne airplane, which she does. Father Lundigan sees her outside the plane, and once again will have to undergo more therapy himself.
Wed, Oct 23, 1968
By-the-book Captain Fomento is getting bored in San Tanco, a town where he says nothing exciting happens, and is thinking of resigning. He has even resorted to threatening the sisters with a ticket for their non-licensed old clothing drive, and has given citations to his own mother for jaywalking and his brother-in-law, who happens to be the police chief, for littering. To get him from not resigning, Sister Bertrille tells him that there is a crime wave at Carlos' casino: ashtrays have been stolen. Carlos actually encourages it as they have the advertising "Stolen from Casino Carlos" on them. Captain Fomento just sees Carlos as aiding and abetting thieves. Once the captain raids the casino and threatens to haul off all those with ashtrays in their possession, Carlos decides that he is going to take the Mayor of San Filipe up on his offer to move the casino there as San Filipe does not have a Captain Fomento with which to deal. Sister Bertrille, playing on Carlos' philanthropic nature toward the convent, hatches a plan to keep Carlos in San Tanco. In the captain's presence, the sisters imply that there is one building code violation after another at the convent. The captain promptly condemns the building. When Sister Bertrille tells Carlos what has happened thinking that he will stay and bail them out, Carlos seems non-plussed. In actuality, he sees through the sister's story and is touched by the act and decides to stay. Now they just have to convince the captain that the convent isn't really in a condemned state. They tell him that because they cannot afford to make all the repairs, they are selling the convent to Carlos, who will turn it into a nightclub. For the pious captain, that move would be sacrilege, and thus he overturns his own decision and declares the convent a national historical monument exempt from building code requirements.
Wed, Nov 6, 1968
Carlos will do anything to get away from Manuel, who wants Carlos to audition his step-niece by marriage for his nightclub show. Even after he sees and starts dating the beautiful Felicia, Carlos still doesn't want to audition her since he has had bad luck with Manuel's clients, and he doesn't want to ruin the his image of Felicia with what he supposes will be a horrible audition. Carlos will even help Sister Bertrille rather than audition Felicia. First, he runs off to help Sister Bertrille move the convent's newly acquired pipe organ to the convent, and second, he runs off to help move the said organ from the convent. You see, the organ is causing the convent some problems. It is an old, somewhat garish instrument whose air pump is not working properly. Once they get over that issue with the help of a blowing vacuum cleaner, the organ has a couple of glass shattering keys, in particular high-C. This final problem is just too much for the sisters to keep the organ. As Carlos rushes off to the convent for this final move, Felicia tracks him down at the convent and auditions for him right then and there, playing the organ and singing. She's very good and Carlos is mesmerized. He hires her on the spot and takes the organ off the sisters' hands for Felicia's act. However Sister Bertrille forgets to tell them about the problematic high-C key, and at the end of Felicia's act, Carlos has an unfortunate and unexpected glass bill.
Wed, Nov 13, 1968
Condorillo hawks and their eggs are outlawed by the authorities since they are considered a nuisance, especially to sugar cane farmers. However Sister Bertrille stumbles across a pair of such orphaned eggs and cannot in good conscience leave them unattended to die. She plans on hatching the eggs at the convent. This act draws mixed reactions. A couple of tourists, who see Sister Bertrille fly to get the eggs, think she's from outer space and is hatching like aliens. And Carlos uses Sister Bertrille's need for transporting her incubation equipment as an excuse to avoid Margo Richmond, a wealthy but serious women who Carlos thinks is coming to take him up on his offer to marry him (he asks all women to marry him, and all except perhaps Margo know it's a joke). He plans and gets permission to hide out at the convent. Everyone eventually descends onto the convent. First, Margo finds out Carlos is there but she in fact does not want to marry him. She is just stopping by to give him a gift of a shotgun before she heads off to her own wedding. However Carlos thinks she's there to shoot him, and he gets dressed up as a nun as a disguise and drives off. And second, Captain Fomento finds out that Sister Bertrille has the contraband eggs - which have since hatched - tipped off by the tourist couple who are with Captain Fomento in tow. When the couple see Carlos as a nun, Sister Bertrille flying again, and later Sister Bertrille with two young orphaned twins in church choir outfits, they are convinced that the alien eggs have hatched. With the captain, Sister Bertrille makes quick escape with the baby hawks before the captain finds her. She finds a nice home for her babies at the San Juan Zoo.
Wed, Nov 20, 1968
While everyone else is at a charity benefit, Sister Bertrille is alone at the convent nursing sick child Felix. She hears a news bulletin on the radio that escaped convict Ignacio Ferrante is in the vicinity of San Tanco, and she gets worried for her and Felix's safety. Captain Fomento confirms her fears about how dangerous Ferrante is. Sister Bertrille wants so much for a strong man to be around to protect her and Felix, she lets in a stranded man whose car has broke down outside the convent. Sister Bertrille isn't concerned as the man doesn't match the mustached description of Ferrante. However when the man is surprised by the presence of Felix - Sister Bertrille had told him that they were alone - the man reveals himself by pulling a gun that he is indeed a shaved Ferrante. To protect Felix, the sister tells him the gun is a toy. A complication arises when Captain Fomento comes back to the convent, he who sees the unfamiliar car. By this time, Ferrante has further disguised himself as a nun, who Sister Bertrille introduces as the Mother General, who doesn't speak due to a vow of silence. The captain discloses to Sister Bertrille and who he thinks is the Mother General the plans to capture Ferrante. The "Mother General" also asks Fomento for a gun for protection from Ferrante. With a gun-less captain, a gun in his own hands and the knowledge of what the police are up to, Ferrante reveals himself to the captain. Ferrante is certain he can escape with the sister and captain as his shields. But Fomento, fed up with his boring existence in San Tanco, stands up to Ferrante despite Ferrante having his gun. With a little help from Sister Bertrille who goes airborne which distracts Ferrante, Fomento manages to overtake Ferrante. Fomento becomes a hero for overtaking the dangerous criminal singlehandedly without a gun. It isn't until he actually hears this fact that it sinks into his head what happened. Fomento thus does only what he can do under the circumstances: faint!
Wed, Nov 27, 1968
This episode is one of misunderstandings stemming from a $5,000 donation from Juan Hernando. Juan Hernando is a former orphan of the convent before the Reverend Mother's time. He wants to show his appreciation of the convent for his growing up period. The misunderstandings start when the $5,000 check is destroyed and the sisters, who have never met Juan Hernando, try to find him so that he can write them another check. Sister Bertrille finds a Juan Hernando, who she thinks is the Juan Hernando for who she is is searching. This Juan Hernando - Honest Juan Hernando as he calls himself - is in fact not, but a crooked politician. When Sister Bertrille mentions the $5,000 donation, he misunderstands and thinks the sisters are donating to his mayoralty campaign. The next misunderstanding happens when Honest Juan Hernando tells his constituents that he is being supported by the sisters, after which the bishop reads about their support and thinks the sisters are indeed mixing religion and politics, but worse yet supporting a crook. Honest Juan Hernando finally figures out that the sisters have him confused with someone else, but fails to clear up the confusion as he figures their support will get him elected, when he can use public funds to do whatever he wants include donating $5,000 to the convent. The Reverend Mother perpetrates the next misunderstanding when the real Juan Hernando shows up at the convent, and she ultimately thinks that he is the crooked politician who was using the donation to bribe the convent for its political support. So she refuses to take his replacement check/donation. Before it's too late, all the misunderstandings are cleared up. However, the real Juan Hernando won't donate the $5,000 anymore since he agrees with the Reverend Mother that his wealth was primarily gained by dubious means. But he does ends up donating the proceeds from one legitimate business transaction, the proceeds being $100. It's better than a kick in the pants, but not by much. As for Honest Juan Hernando, the sisters make him repent for perpetrating the falsehood that he was the philanthropic Juan Hernando - they make him tell his constituents the political truth.
Wed, Dec 11, 1968
Captain Fomento has had parking meters installed in San Tanco, a move he had to convince Chief Galindo into doing. Nobody but the Captain likes the meters. Even the Chief doesn't like them as the expected revenues promised by Fomento have not materialized as someone has been stealing the money out of the meters. Fomento plants some marked coins in some meters and waits for them to materialize to flush out the thieves. Through a series of connected transactions, Sister Bertrille gets one of the coins who unwittingly passes it back to Fomento. The always suspicious Fomento doesn't suspect the sister as being the thief, that is until Sargeant Salazar witnesses her fiddling with a tampered empty meter. The sister actually saw the real crooks - the two men who sold Fomento the meters and who kept a set of keys for the meters - and airborne, she chases them down. But Galindo gets to them first, not to arrest them, but to sell the meters back to them. Next on the scene is Fomento, who wants to tell the Chief that Sister Bertrille is the thief. Next on the scene is Sister Bertrille, who implicates the real thieves. As the two thieves try to run, Fomento and Galindo chase them down, but Salazar still thinking that Sister Bertrille is the real thief, places her in handcuffs. Ultimately Fomento asks forgiveness from Sister Bertrille with gifts in hands: he has repaired the convent station wagon (which he had impounded due to missing headlights), and has a commendation from Cheif Galindo. Sister Bertrille can't stay mad.
Wed, Dec 18, 1968
There are two upcoming important events: the novices are approaching their rededication ceremony, and the Reverend Mother is attending a conference in Chicago. With the latter, she can take one travel companion, and all the sisters do extra things for the Reverend Mother in hopes that that will sway the Reverend Mother's decision in her favor. Sister Bertrille is especially hopeful as she went to school there, and desperately wants to see it again. The Reverend Mother even believes that she would be the appropriate choice, however as Chicago is the Windy City, it is too much of a risk for Sister Bertrille to go. She is sad enough about that, but it makes her realize that she needs to be able to control her flying more so than she is able, especially with the upcoming rededication ceremony with the Mother General in attendance. Consulting an aeronautical engineer, she learns that all she needs to do is to gain five pounds to ground herself. So she embarks on an eating binge. Having only gained three and a half pounds by the day of the Mother General's arrival, Sister Bertrille has to use other techniques for the extra weight: lead boots. After the Reverend Mother sees the boots, she demands that Sister Bertrille find another way. Sisters Jacqueline and Teresa rig a string pulley system to her, and everything is working fine during the ceremony, despite it being a blustery day, except the string is too short due to a miscalculation on Sister Teresa's part. But ultimately, Reverend Mother comes to the rescue. The Reverend Mother reiterates that Sister Bertrille has a special gift that must not be questioned, but rather cherished and used wisely and discretely.
Wed, Dec 25, 1968
Carlos is looking for a wife - only temporarily. His grandmother, Amalia Ramirez, is coming for a visit, and once, when it looked as if she was dying, he told her he was married with a family to make her happy. He doesn't know whether he should tell her the truth as she still has a weak heart. But thinking of a wife, he remembers back to the one who got away, namely Sister Bertrille's sister, Jennifer. When Carlos' grandmother arrives, she sees Jennifer's photo on Carlos' desk and assumes that's his wife. Telling her that Jennifer is away on vacation for a couple of weeks only makes his grandmother decide to stay in San Juan until Carlos' family returns. Carlos learns from Sister Bertrille that Jennifer is currently in Miami, and he calls her to come to San Juan on a medical emergency. Two complications arise when Jennifer arrives. First, she has a fiancé in tow. And second, Carlos' grandmother sees her. They need to extend the deception further and use two of the convent children as Carlos' kids. Things take a turn for the worse when Amalia first sees Jennifer kissing her fiancé Paul, then sees Carlos kissing one of his girlfriends, Lisa. Thinking that she is saving the children from a possible broken home, Amalia runs off with the two children, planning to take them back to Argentina with her. Sister Bertrille manages to catch up with her and the children at the airport before they take off, and finally tells her the truth. Rather than keel over and have a heart attack like Sister Bertrille expects, Amalia is relieved and happy that her grandson loves her so much as to fabricate a story just to make her happy.
Wed, Jan 1, 1969
The convent is property leased to the order. The rent is $1 per year and every 99 years, the lease is renewed. The lease is now up for renewal. After 396 years, the owning family, the de Cordovas, have decided not to renew the lease and the sisters have 3 weeks to vacate the property. The sisters decide to invite Fabio de Cordova, the sole surviving owner, to the convent to see what good work the sisters do, which will hopefully make him change his mind about the lease. Apparently, there is no fortune left in the de Cordova estate, the convent the only thing left in the former fortune, and all Fabio de Cordova wants is a small place to live. Sister Bertrille offers him the gardener's cottage on the property, to which he agrees. However, he is hesitant to sign the new lease just in case this arrangement with the sisters doesn't work out. Fabio ends up being quite an obtrusive landlord, the last straw for the Reverend Mother being taking guided paid tours through the convent. However Captain Fomento, who suspects that Fabio is an impostor, scares Fabio off, but for another reason: Fabio once embezzled money from a former lover and thinks the captain is onto him. Fabio decides to right all wrongs: to deed the convent to the sisters and go find his old love to marry her.
Wed, Jan 15, 1969
Convent orphan Michael Antonio idolizes his uncle, renowned magician and juggler Marko the Magnificient. Marko is coming to San Tanco to visit Michael, an opportunity Sister Bertrille cannot let pass. Since the hot water pipes in the convent had just burst, she persuades the Reverend Mother to hold a benefit concert headlining Marko the Magnificent, with some other peripheral acts, including a trio of singing nuns (Sisters Bertrille, Jacqueline and Ana). The Reverend Mother thinks it's a good idea since she has seen the amazing feats of Marko. Marko however does not want to do it since he has come to San Tanco for some rest and personal time with Michael. Feeling pressured from Michael as well as some pre-publicity of the concert, Marko reluctantly concedes to doing it. Another reluctant performer is Sister Ana, who has stage fright. Back to Marko, Sister Bertrille learns that Marko's reluctance masks the fact that his hands are afflicted with arthritis and he can no longer perform magic or juggle. Ultimately Sister Bertrille can do nothing to overcome Sister Ana's stage fright - the Reverend Mother goes on in her place - but Sister Bertrille comes up with a solution for Marko. They can create a magic act around levitating Sister Bertrille, who will be flying on her own. The concert ends up being a hit, even according to the entertainment bible, Variety magazine.
Wed, Jan 22, 1969
Actress Sabrina Michaels is trying to escape from her movie star life and her philandering co-star and fiancé, Spencer Michaels. She has walked off the set of her movie and in her escape, has a near fatal drowning caused by and saved by Sister Bertrille. While swimming away, Sabrina sees Sister Bertrille flying which caused her to faint and nearly drown. However, while she is recuperating at the convent, Sabrina states that she had a religious vision, that being the flying sister. The sisters don't correct her thought. However this vision causes Sabrina to rethink her life and she decides to become a nun. Meanwhile, Sabrina's producer, Harold Harmon, plans on suing her for breach of contract and has to serve her papers. The sisters are suspicious of every stranger who stops by the convent, most of whom are process servers. However one claiming to be Father Duffy, an old friend of the Reverend Mother's, they also suspect to be a process server masquerading as a priest. In the Reverend Mother's absence, the sisters treat Father Duffy as such a priest in disguise. Unfortunately for the sisters, he is really the Reverend Mother's old friend Father Duffy. Back to Sabrina, the Reverend Mother convinces her that she should return to her life as a movie actress by showing her that she did not have a vision, and that Sister Bertrille really can fly.
Wed, Jan 29, 1969
Sister Bertrille's family friend, "Uncle" Reggie Overton Perkins, has taken a job in San Juan. Uncle Reggie has somewhat of a shady past and present, but has managed to get a job at Carlos' casino as security expert, which includes showing casino customers how to spot cheaters in the casino. One of Uncle Reggie changes at the casino is to show the counting room through a glass partition, this move to entice casino patrons to gamble to try and win the money they see. Captain Fomento however is skeptical as he feels it will lure thieves to the casino to try and steal the money. For once, he's right. The thief wannabes come in the form of couple, Bruce and Faye. Bruce claims to be a numismatist, and plants in Uncle Reggie's head that there may be rare coins and notes among the casino's money. So Uncle Reggie suggests to the sisters and also convinces Carlos that the sister exchange regular valued coins and notes for collector ones in the counting room as a way to raise money for the convent. At the same time, Faye goes by the convent claiming to be Sister Mary Grace from Uganda in San Tanco on official business. She also claims to be a numismatist, and thus the sisters believes she would be a perfect person to accompany them as they sort through the casino's money. Through this plan, Bruce and Faye manage to steal $50,000 from the casino. Carlos and Sister Bertrille initially suspect a missing Uncle Reggie as the thief.
Wed, Feb 5, 1969
Sister Bertrille finds Uncle Reggie, who is still the prime suspect in the casino robbery. Unfortunately for Uncle Reggie, Captain Fomento also finds him. Sister Bertrille however convinces Carlos and Captain Fomento of Uncle Reggie's possible innocence, and devises a plan to flush out the real thieves: report that Uncle Reggie has been caught and charged with the theft, so that the real thieves will let their guards' down. It works as Bruce and Faye, still under cover at the convent as Sister Mary Grace, decide that it is time to leave San Tanco. The sisters unwittingly leak to thief Faye that the story of Uncle Reggie's guilt is just a ploy. Faye as Sister Mary Grace still meets up with Bruce at the airport, but Sister Bertrille sees the two together in a compromising position and sees Bruce take off with Sister Mary Grace's luggage, and suspects they may be the possible crooks. With information from Uncle Reggie and Carlos, Sister Bertrille pieces the whole thing together. She follows Sister Mary Grace/Faye to Bruce's hideout and manages to steal their car, leaving the two thieves stranded - they are forced to walk a mile to their departure point of the harbor. Sister Bertrille alerts Captain Fomento and Carlos, who rush to the harbor to apprehend the thieves. But Sister Bertrille beats them to the harbor and confronts the crooks, who have her at gunpoint. As Bruce trips, he accidentally pulls the trigger and the gun goes off. Next they know, Bruce and Faye sees Sister Bertrille up in the air, thinking that they killed her and what they see is her angel. Just then, Captain Fomento and Carlos arrive on the scene and arrest the crooks.
Top-rated
Wed, Feb 12, 1969
While on a retreat with Sister Jacqueline, Sister Bertrille runs into one of her old boyfriends, Randy Putnam. Randy is currently a toy maker at a business convention. Randy and Sister Bertrille remember their relationship in slightly different ways, each seeing him/herself as the dominant personality in the relationship. Randy is shocked to see Elsie as Sister Bertrille and feels that he had something to do with her becoming a nun. Randy, who is also in psychotherapy, sees Sister Bertrille fly, which further confuses him. To ease the guilt he feels for her becoming a nun, he showers her with lavish gifts, despite the fact that he is engaged. His fiancée, Liz Martin, is not so understanding of Randy's behavior. It isn't until Sister Bertrille assures Liz that he had nothing to do with her entering the convent that they can begin to help Randy get over this guilt and get back to a committed relationship with Liz.
Wed, Feb 19, 1969
Sister Bertrille is looking after Pepe, a chimpanzee, as a favor to Dolores, one of Carlos' girlfriends. Pepe's arrival at the convent coincides with a rash of thefts in the neighborhood, thefts of small, rather insignificant trinkets. The latest theft is of Captain Fomento's watch right in the convent. Yes, the thief is Pepe. The captain thinks that it is someone in the convent. Sister Jacqueline, who finds the stolen items in Sister Bertrille's closet (Pepe's hiding place), reports such to the Reverend Mother and based on Sister Bertrille's behavior, Sister Jacqueline and the Reverend Mother believe Sister Bertrille suffers from kleptomania. Sister Bertrille is oblivious to Pepe's thieving ways until she sees him take off with a candlestick. As Sister Bertrille chases after Pepe, Sister Jacqueline, the Reverend Mother, Captain Fomento and Sgt. Salazar chase after Sister Bertrille. It isn't until Dolores returns to retrieve her thieving pet monkey that the truth is revealed to all.
Wed, Feb 26, 1969
Farmer Gonzalo, the convent's milk supplier, is moving to St. Thomas and can't take Alicia, his beloved cow with him. Sister Bertrille decides to buy Alicia for the convent as a cheap, constant and reliable milk supply for the kitchen and for the children's needs. None of this comes to fruition as as soon as Alicia reaches the convent, she stops providing milk. The Reverend Mother finally gives Sister Bertrille an ultimatum: find another home for Alicia, or off Alicia goes to the slaughter house. When Sister Bertrille can't find another suitable home for Alicia, Sister Bertrille talks Carlos, or rather talks Carlos' girlfriend Danielle, into giving her and Alicia a ride on Carlos' yacht to St. Thomas to go see Gonzalo, who thinks he can solve Alicia's lack of milk problem. They all think it's Alicia being homesick or at least being family-sick for Gonzalo. However they all discover that what Alicia was missing was music as Gonzalo always sang to her while he milked her. So Alicia has found a new home at the convent with a new source of music. Carlos is given a reward for taking Sister Bertrille and Alicia to/from St. Thomas: Alicia's first glass of convent milk.
Wed, Mar 5, 1969
The sisters need to call in accident-prone Brother Paul back to the convent to do some bookkeeping work. The sisters do everything in their power to keep Brother Paul from doing harm to himself, to them or to the convent. Brother Paul is not accident-prone like he was during his last visit. On the other hand, Sister Bertrille is causing a lot of accidents and a lot of accidents are happening to Sister Bertrille by others in their attempts to avoid accidents to/from Brother Paul. The nature of the bookkeeping work is primarily in regard to Carlos' donations since he is being audited. When Mr. O'Reilly from the IRS needs to change his appointment with Carlos, Carlos uses the opportunity of his own accountant's absence at that time to use the services of "pious" Brother Paul for the audit. Brother Paul's first and only accident at the convent happens when he sees Sister Bertrille fly and in turns drops all Carlos' tax receipts, which go flying into the wind. Carlos and Brother Paul have to hold off Mr. O'Reilly while Sister Bertrille goes flying off for receipt after receipt. By the time Mr. O'Reilly completes his audit, Sister Bertrille has not found all the receipts and Mr. O'Reilly does not allow the total amounts Carlos has requested for deductions. It isn't until Sister Bertrille flies after Mr. O'Reilly with the remainder of the receipts that he changes his mind to allow whatever Carlos, Brother Paul and especially Sister Bertrille want.
Wed, Mar 19, 1969
Roberto Sanchez, president of the second largest grocery chain in San Juan, states that Sister Sixto's bread is the best he has ever tasted. From that, Sister Bertrille thinks that selling her bread would be a good way to raise money for the convent. Sanchez is in charge of distribution, Sister Jacqueline is in charge of advertising, and obviously Sister Sixto is in charge of mixing. But to make money, one needs money, and Sister Bertrille approaches Carlos for financing: $1,000 for a new bread oven and $160 for a ton of flour. Other problems abound when Sister Sixto isn't comfortable with mass production and there are too many chefs in the kitchen when all five sisters helping in the kitchen think that they are in charge of adding yeast to the dough, which creates the day of the growing monster bread dough. But a potential lawsuit occurs when Sister Sixto loses her ring in one of the loaves of bread. The sisters manage to get back all the unsold loaves but the ring isn't in any of them. However, Sister Jacqueline, the advertising brain, comes up with an idea: a contest where the finder of the ring will get a year's supply of bread. The sisters don't have to pay out as the ring is fortunately found by Carlos in his loaf, unfortunately by biting down on it. But they wouldn't have a year's supply to give anyway as the bread business ultimately fails: the old bread recipe did not translate well into being baked in a new modern oven and the customers hated it.
Wed, Mar 26, 1969
The convent is willed a dry goods business, which is free and clear of debt. However it is devoid of any sense of order. Unable to run the business themselves, the sisters look for someone to act as manager. Carlos suggests his cousin Luis, if only to get Luis out from working at the casino. Luis has some unique business ideas, which is causing havoc for Carlos at the casino. At the dry goods store, Luis' business ideas cause the store to go into the red after the first week. To keep the sisters from firing Luis which would in turn cause Luis to go back to working at the casino, Carlos pays people to buy things at the store, and the fortunes of the store obviously turn around. However Luis comes up with some more interesting business ideas, including advertising the fact that the store is owned by the charitable sisters, to which their dry goods competitors cry foul. The Reverend Mother sees no other way to undo this unfair advertising than to sell the store. Luis is initially distraught until he figures he can buy the store. To be more precise, he wants Carlos to buy it for him. When Luis approaches Carlos about this proposition, Carlos tells Sister Bertrille in secret the truth about why the store was doing so well. Sister Bertrille is mad at Carlos about how he treated Luis and what this news will do for his own self worth.
Wed, Apr 2, 1969
On a day that Carlos has promised some of the convent children a boat ride, he reneges to go to Culebra for a date with Elena. He however tells the children and Sister Bertrille that he is going to meet with his down on his luck Uncle Antonio and Aunt Constancia. In actuality, Uncle Antonio is poor because he's lazy. Violetta, one of the children, comes down with a case of the mumps, and since Carlos hugged her, Sister Bertrille flies to Culebra to warn Carlos that he has been exposed. Sister Bertrille searches for him at his uncle and aunt's house. Uncle Antonio and Aunt Constancia state that they are not expecting Carlos and thus wonder why the sister is looking for him there. Based on the lie Carlos told her, Sister Bertrille tells them that he is coming to bring them and their entire family to live in one of Carlos' houses in San Tanco. When she finds Carlos at Elana's, Sister Bertrille learns the truth about Carlos' trip to Culebra and Carlos in turn learns about the expectation that his aunt and uncle have about going to live in San Tanco. Neither Carlos or Sister Bertrille have the heart to tell them the truth, especially as the family holds a celebration for Carlos' generosity. Carlos ultimately is happy to have his family move to San Tanco when they remind him what wonderful things they did for him when he was a child.