Wed, Sep 13, 1967
Drucker's store doesn't sell jam since all the Hooterville women make their own. Oliver encourages the reluctant Lisa to learn how to make preserves from Doris Ziffel since her's are the best in the valley. Lisa submits, citing the Hungarian Parliament's "Big Dumb Law of 1924" which stated, "All Hungarian women had to do whatever their husbands wanted them to do, no matter how dumb it was." With Doris' help, Lisa easily makes dozens of jars of "homemade" jam. Oliver is impressed, until he learns Mrs. Ziffel's secret.
Wed, Sep 20, 1967
Fred Ziffel objects to Arnold's love affair with shifty Mr. Haney's basset hound Cynthia. Realizing that their relationship can never work, Arnold breaks off their relationship. When Cynthia performs miserably at the county field trials, Haney wants to sue over his heartbroken hound.
Wed, Sep 27, 1967
Oliver is finally fed up with the lousy service of the Hooterville Phone Company. He petitions the state "futilities commercial" (as Lisa calls it) for improvements, but they can't help; Hooterville needs at least forty-two customers to be covered by the law. Tired of hearing Oliver boast about how he could run the company better, Trendell, the president, hands him the keys to the place.
Wed, Oct 4, 1967
Oliver's without an operator on his first day as president of the Hooterville Phone Company. As he wrestles with an exploding switchboard, the locals gossip about how he stole the company from Roy Trendell in a rigged card game. Lisa figures out how to put calls through, but had rather flirt with the president than work the switchboard all night.
Wed, Oct 11, 1967
Irritated by complaints and about how much money he's losing, Oliver raises the rates at the Hooterville Phone Company. His top priority, however, is getting the Monroe brothers to connect his own phone inside the house. In the kitchen, Lisa discovers the magic of Dee Dee's Dehydrated Dinners. Just drop a bag into boiling water and out comes a full meal and a bottle of wine.
Wed, Oct 25, 1967
The Douglases find a note from Eb saying he's eloped. While he's on his honeymoon, his cousin Walter will cover his duties. Unfortunately, Walter's experience is limited to bartending at the old Stankwell Falls Lounge. This leads to more destruction than usual on the farm and everyone thinking Oliver's opening a cocktail lounge.
Wed, Nov 1, 1967
Oliver is tired of paying storage for something neither he or Lisa can recall, so he has it shipped to Hooterville. Inside a giant crate is a genuine Stavinski birdbath that Lisa had bought years earlier for Oliver's birthday. The hideous collection of pipes and faucets leads Oliver to plot "the thing's" demise
Wed, Nov 8, 1967
Lisa tells another version of how she and Oliver met during World War II. As a member of the Hungarian underground, she saved him from Nazis by hiding him in a barn and got him a Purple Heart by poking him in the rump with a pitchfork. They saw each other again after the war when Lisa was a professional cello player.
Wed, Nov 15, 1967
With Doris away for a few days, Fred looks after Arnold by himself. When Arnold sees an advertisement for free movies and ice cream, he goes to Pixley. Lisa is convinced he's been pig-napped, so they all go on a search that leads them to a packing house. During a nightmare one morning she accidentally gives Oliver a bloody nose.
Wed, Nov 22, 1967
Over Lisa's objections, Oliver plans on attending a farm symposium alone. To watch over her, he hires a charming young British man as a temporary farm hand. Determined to go along, Lisa plots to make Oliver so jealous of the handsome hired help that he wouldn't dare leave her behind.
Wed, Nov 29, 1967
Oliver gets the usual runaround from Haney when he complains about the ancient tractor he'd bought. But suddenly, it's a new, honest Haney who offers to buy back the tractor and the "dump" of a farm he sold Oliver. Coincidentally, Haney heard that the Douglas farm is in the path of a proposed new highway. Oliver's soon onto his scheme and decides to make the charlatan squirm.
Wed, Dec 27, 1967
Eb is embarrassed to tell the Douglases that he was stood up at the altar and took his honeymoon trip alone. He begs an old girlfriend, Cynthia, to pose as his new bride just long enough to meet his "parents". She agrees if it won't take long since she has a big date to get ready for.
Top-rated
Wed, Jan 31, 1968
Arnold is opening an account at the Pixley Bank when two robbers make off with a bundle of cash and the pig's five dollars. The pair hides out at the Douglas' farm, taking Lisa, Oliver and Eb hostage. Arnold runs off with their bag of loot and takes it to the authorities while the clueless criminals force Lisa to make hotcakes for them.
Wed, Feb 7, 1968
The farmers of Hooterville sign up for a government-sponsored agriculture exchange program to Europe. When they realize the $300 cost for tickets is per person, not per plane-load, they decide to supply their own airplane and fly themselves over. Since Oliver flew in the war, they draft him to be their pilot. The FAA puts a stop to their cockamamie plans.
Wed, Feb 21, 1968
Everyone in Hooterville, except Oliver, is overcome with spring fever; even Sam Drucker is wearing his spring toupee. Deciding to revive the Hooterville spring festival, Lisa visits the neighbors to drum up support. Meanwhile, Oliver tries to do his planting with Eb who can't understand how to work the automatic planter.
Wed, Feb 28, 1968
Eb's latest career choice is that of a barber. He talks Oliver into paying his tuition to MIT, a mail-order barber college. Eb's sent a dummy head and hair to practice on and receives his grades by mailing the trimmed toupees back to the school. Lisa is excited about Eb's education while Oliver is irritated by all the hidden costs he keeps being asked to pay.
Wed, Mar 20, 1968
It's planting season in Hooterville, but Oliver doesn't know what to grow. After testing the soil, he discovers Hooterville is perfect for growing rutabagas. The locals are overcome with rutabaga fever, going so far as to plan a "Rutabaga Bowl." To spread the word, Lisa is sent up in a hot-air balloon to drop vegetables on people with the message "Eat Hooterville Rutabagas" written on them.
Wed, Mar 27, 1968
At Sam Drucker's store, Oliver and Lisa meet their new neighbor who's about to go into labor. Lisa volunteers herself and Oliver to take care of the other two children who are there. After racing the neighbor to the hospital, Oliver arrives home to find Lisa's volunteered to keep the woman's four other children in their home as well. Oliver's nerves become frayed when he's forced to sleep in the floor with the boys and spend all day carrying the kids to and from school.
Wed, Apr 3, 1968
Arnold's performance as a British police dog in the Hooterville theater production of "Who"--the marquee wasn't big enough for "Who Killed Jock Robin?"--turns him into an overnight star. Lisa is so impressed, she arranges for an old friend to give him a Hollywood screen test. After the locals stage a telethon to raise money for the trip, the Douglases are soon escorting the hammy actor West for his big showbiz break.
Top-rated
Wed, Apr 10, 1968
Oliver and Lisa chaperon Arnold to Hollywood for his screen test. Producer Boris Fedor isn't interested in the pig; he's just using him to pressure a greedy horse to come back to work. When the horse's agent balks, the publicity machine starts promoting Arnold as the studio's next big star. A stunned Oliver, who came along for laughs, can't believe what he's witnessing.