Mon, Jan 9, 1961
Rusty and Linda want to go to the movies. When Kathy says no, they complain what good is learning about democracy in school when there is no democracy in their home. Danny comes up with the brilliant solution of having the family vote on everything, but no one can be a sore loser. He comes home to find the kids eating cake and ice cream, and Kathy informs him that while he was gone they out-voted her two to one. Danny has to find a way to stop the voting without being a sore loser.
Mon, Jan 23, 1961
Danny arrives home from an out of town engagement to find Kathy on the couch in a ratty robe, with curlers in her hair, and fighting a bout of sniffles. When Danny complains about her appearance, they have an argument which gives him material for his act. Danny comes home and tells a now dolled-up Kathy what a hit the material was. They have another fight about him telling everyone what happened. SONG: Makin' Whoopee
Mon, Jan 30, 1961
Danny is helping Rusty rehearse his drums for the school orchestra try-outs. Kathy enters saying it's nearly 11 o'clock and past Rusty's bedtime. As they continue, the landlord arrives and tricks them into continuing until after 11 pm when he announces they've broken their lease and will be evicted in the morning. Kathy invites him over for coffee and cake in an effort to change his mind. Unfortunately, no one in the family believes Kathy adds enough rum to her cake, so everyone adds more. SONG: Won't You Come Home, Bill Bailey
Mon, Feb 6, 1961
Uncle Tonoose arrives in New York determined to invest his life savings so he will be able to send his grand-nephew to college, and on to medical school. To keep him from investing with a man he met on the bus, Danny suggests he invest in the club. Charlie is not happy, and even less happy when Uncle Tonoose changes the menu, the dancers, and starts driving customers away.
Mon, Feb 20, 1961
Kathy hires a swami. Danny recognizes him as an old burlesque performer and tells Kathy that burlesque is more than people remember. Some of the great comics got their start in burlesque. Danny and Charlie come up with an idea to put some of the old routines into the act and bring the former star back to work.
Mon, Mar 13, 1961
In a takeoff on Damon Runyon's Pocketful of Miracles (Lady for a Day), the Williams's Irish scrubwoman admits she's been writing home to an old beau that she is a successful musical theatre performer. She's invented a loving family of a daughter, and two grandchildren (a boy and a girl). Her old beau is arriving in New York tomorrow, what can she do? SONG: Nothing Could Be Finer (Than to be in Carolina).
Mon, Mar 27, 1961
Danny is dead-tired after just having flown from New York to Los Angeles to work out plans for a big show, accidentally took two sleeping pills, and has no place to sleep because there are four conventions in town and an incompetent employee of the firm he is working with forgot to make a hotel reservation for him.
Mon, Apr 3, 1961
Danny hires Paul Pryor (played by Paul Anka) to sing at his club, but when he sees the effect Paul has on the audiences, he starts feeling very, very old.
Mon, Apr 10, 1961
Charlie tells Danny there's an old fan Ed from Chicago in the audience and gets extremely nervous when Danny asks if it's Ed Riley. "Ed Riley, the gangster?" Charlie stutters. Charlie has nothing to worry about, but Skip Harris the notorious comedy material thief not only tells Danny he's stealing his jokes, but manages to thoroughly offend Mr. Riley as well. Danny and Charlie try to warn Skip he's in danger, but he doesn't believe Danny.
Mon, Apr 17, 1961
Rusty has a classmate do his history homework for him so Rusty can go to basketball practice. Danny finds out and tells Rusty no more basketball. The only problem is the team is in the finals, and the next game is the playoff. Rusty's team hasn't won in decades and the whole school campaigns to make Danny change his mind.
Mon, Apr 24, 1961
Rusty's Scoutmaster is moving away and Rusty has volunteered Danny to replace him. Danny is complaining he doesn't have time - until retired Major Hegendorn (their landlord) is interested. The scout organization says the only fair thing is to let them compete for the job by each leading for a week.
Mon, May 1, 1961
Rusty and Linda want to earn their very own money to donate to the hospital drive, so they are doing a magic act. Charlie's friend can fit out a set of tails with magic tricks, but the performance is that evening so they have to go right away. Rusty doesn't have money to rent tails and Kathy has just picked up Danny's. There's no time to wait and ask Danny, so Kathy gives permission. Danny arrives home with good news, he's been asked to speak at the United Nations that night but his family isn't home. He needs his tuxedo, but his tails are laying out and they would be much better - or would they?
Mon, May 8, 1961
Jean and Bess are having coffee at Kathy's and bragging about how they are always helping their husbands by solving their problems and keeping them from making bad business decisions. Danny comes home that night and Kathy gets into a fight with him because he has no problems. She overhears Danny in a phone call with Charlie talking about when his dressing room will be painted, and suddenly she realizes he has a problem. The problem is Kathy soon has best friends Danny and Charlie suing each other.
Mon, May 22, 1961
It's Danny's birthday. "Again? I just had one last year." This time Kathy and the kids give Danny his gifts before breakfast. Kathy asks Danny what he wants to do for his birthday, and he says a quiet dinner with just the two of them. Then he finds out Mr. Heckendorn is throwing a big bash and apparently they are not invited.
Mon, Oct 2, 1961
Bill Dana joins the cast as elevator operator Jose Jimenez (a character he made famous before the phrase politically correct). In this twist on Cyrano de Bergerac, Jose tells Danny he is in love. He has never spoken to his love, because "you may not have noticed, but I have an accent". He convinces Danny to record a song for him to send his lady-love. SONGS: June in January and The More I See You
Mon, Oct 9, 1961
Linda is being punished and threatens to run away (again). Danny tells Kathy to ignore it, kids never mean it and Kathy reminds Danny that Rusty meant it when he ran away. Linda comes out with her suitcase. Danny wants to let her go, but Kathy won't let Linda out of her sight. Danny arranges with Charlie to get disguises to follow her and then lets Linda out of the house. SONG: Be Kind to Your Parents.
Mon, Oct 23, 1961
Rusty has an audition for the band at the YMCA. The band leader (Harry James) tells Danny that Rusty needs to play the same as the other boys. Of course he doesn't blame Rusty, it's his teacher's fault. His style is not to teach a bunch of flashy tricks, but to teach the boys the basics and give them a solid grounding in music. Danny tells him that he is Rusty's teacher - and it's all downhill from there.
Mon, Oct 30, 1961
Nothing but trouble can result from adding an unexpected visit from Uncle Tonoose to an already visiting Mr. Daly. Peace doesn't last long when Danny and Kathy get them to stop arguing over who should stay, who is the better man, who is stronger - until they declare the only way to resolve the issue is hold an Olympic competition.
Mon, Nov 20, 1961
Danny finds a dent in his car, but after the countless jokes in his act the night before about women drivers (while Kathy was at the club) he doesn't dare tell Kathy. Danny tells Charlie he'll use the housekeeping money Kathy keeps in a jar to get the car repaired and replace it as soon as he can get to the bank. Unfortunately, Kathy discovers it is missing and calls the police.
Mon, Nov 27, 1961
Jimmy has raised his niece Carla who is now graduating from college with top honors "Sigmund cum Laurie". Jimmy wants to send her to live with her aunt in Boston now that she's educated because he feels inadequate. Carla doesn't want to go, so Danny says he'll give Jimmy a crash course in art, literature, and haberdashery so he'll fit in with Carla's college friends. SONGS: Return to Sorrento (in Italian), Inka Dinka-Dink
Mon, Dec 11, 1961
Uncle Tonoose arrives just as Danny and Kathy are leaving for dinner and the theater. All the family members in Toledo have collectively purchased a piece of land for a family cemetery. Uncle Tonoose doesn't like the location of his plot, so he's left Toledo for good. He's going to live with the only family members that respect him - Danny's family. Not to worry though, he's not staying for good, just a few years.
Mon, Dec 25, 1961
Rusty's teacher "Mrs. Picklepuss" has given the whole class detention the next day. That's when he and Danny were supposed to attend a sportswriters luncheon and meet Johnny Unitas. Danny goes to see her, but she is immovable. When she tells Danny how difficult it is to teach a class, he says "how difficult can it be?" She says he sounds like a perfect candidate for the PTA experiment to show parents the problems they face in the classroom by having the parents teach for a day.