Smarty (1934)

Warren William: Tony Wallace

Photos 

Quotes 

• Anita 'Nita' : I don't mind strange beds at all.

  Tony : If I'm not mistaken, it's a preference - that led to your recent divorce.

  Anita 'Nita' : Yes, darling. And now it's going to lead to yours.

• Anita 'Nita' : Oh, don't be so tragic, Tony, what's a little divorce?

  Tony : It's the end of everything.

  Anita 'Nita' : Oh, don't be silly. Its no more serious than tonsils.

• Vernon : If you spend the night here, you will be presumed, by the court, to have resumed relations with this, eh, person, with full knowledge of the offense and 'bang' goes your divorce.

  Tony : Let it go 'bang', Vicki.

• Tony : [Picks up a pair of lady's silk stockings from his dressing table]  Tilford... Where did these come from?

  Tilford - Tony's Butler : They were clutched in your hand when you came home last night, sir.

  Tony : Was I very drunk, Tilford?

  Tilford - Tony's Butler : Pretty well tanked, sir.

• Tony : What are you here for, anyway?

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : Well, you asked me to lunch and dinner.

  Tony : What?

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : And here I am.

  Tony : Doesn't your husband ever take you to lunch?

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : Don't be horrid. Bill's out-of-town, anyway.

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Tony, you're a beast!

  Tony : I know, that's why you divorced me; because of my beastly little treatment of you.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Don't, Tony!

  Tony : The trouble was, I had the wrong technique. I've been going to the movies quite a lot recently and there the girls are quite different. They get kicked around and pushed in the face, with grapefruit and they love it!

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [Opening up a candy box]  Mmmm. Everything looks so good, I could never make up my mind.

  Tony : Always your failing.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, I thought this was going to be a Brazil nut and it isn't. Here, you finish it.

  Tony : Not me.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why not? You used to like finishing my candy.

• Vernon : Funny girl, Vicki.

  Tony : Giving satisfaction, I hope?

• Vernon : VIcki, look. Look! That darn fool girl's got this cuff button in wrong!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Now, stop raving and I'll fix it for you.

  Tony : Good, ole Edna. She always used to get 'em in cockeyed for me, too!

  Vernon : You don't have to remind me that we also share the same maid.

• Vernon : What shall I do?

  Tony : I'll tell you what I'd do, smash that door. Kick it down! Grab hold of her and kiss her until she's black-and-blue and if she wouldn't let me, I'd roll up my sleeves and beat the daylights outta her! And why the devil I'm giving you the advice I was too much of a sap to take myself, is more than I can figure!

• Mrs. Bonnie Durham : Where do we go from here, Tony?

  Tony : Make me a proposition.

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : Can't we go somewhere where it's less crowded? Less noisy?

  Tony : Meaning you'd like to come home with me?

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : Why not?

  Tony : I feel I should stay and do a little serious drinking.

• Mrs. Bonnie Durham : Who was that?

  Tony : Vernon. It appears that my - his - our wife ran away. He seems to think she might be here.

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : How fascinating. Would that be so very wrong if she were?

  Tony : Oh, yes, in deed. In marriage when you leave before the final curtain, you get no rain checks or other privileges.

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : Well, then, kiss me.

  Tony : You have a one track mind. Let's get drunk, shall we?

• Tony : Aren't you afraid that I'll start kicking you around, with my reputation?

  Mrs. Bonnie Durham : [Leans in]  Well, I wish you'd start something.

  Tony : Well, don't embarrass me. I'll get around to - something.

• Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Hello, Tony.

  Tony : Well, I'll be! What the devil are you doing here?

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : I've been here a long time. I was in your bedroom.

  Tony : Vernon's been telephoning like a mad man.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Yes, I know, I left him. I ran away!

  Tony : I ought to break your neck.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why don't you? I deserve it. I heard what you said to Vernon.

  [Leans in and smiles] 

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why don't you?

  Tony : No, his job, not mine.

• Tony : Go back to your husband.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : I have come back to him.

  Tony : Oh, no. You can't commute between husbands.

• Vernon : If she isn't here, where is she?

  Tony : There was always something of the gypsy in Vicki.

• Edna - Vicki's Maid : [Interrupting the bridge game, addressing Mrs. Wallace]  Mr. Thorpe is wanted on the telephone, ma'am.

  Vernon : For me?... Thank you.

  Vernon : [politely excusing himself from the table]  Courtesy of the table.

  Tony : [gruffly]  What?

  Vernon : I said, "The courtesy of the table."

  Tony : [snarkily]  Okay... What do you want, a salute of 21 guns?

• Tony : Vicki, this flow of humor is just a little more than I can bear!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, now don't be irritable, precious.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [to Anita]  He thinks he looks very dignified, but he's not a bit, really.

  Tony : [getting very annoyed]  Vicki, cut it out!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Well, darling, you *are* irritable!

  Tony : Well, who wouldn't be? You make me absolutely impotent with rage!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : [mockingly]  You mean, "diced carrots"? Ha ha ha...

  Tony : [abruptly gets up and slaps her across the face, knocking the bridge table over]  Oh, Vicki, I'm *terribly* sorry!

• Tony : [Trying to apologize for having slapped her]  Vicki, darling, please forgive me... I'm terribly sorry.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : For heaven's sake, don't start to weep all over me.

  Tony : Oh, I'm terribly sorry...

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : It's a little too late for that. I'm through.

  Tony : Oh, Vicki...

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : I'm sorry, Tony. I've made up my mind.

  Tony : Oh, you're kidding!

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : No, it's all over. I *won't* live with a man that hits me.

  Tony : Oh, Vicki, you can't. You know I love you. You know I'm crazy about you...

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Oh, yes! And you're *so* demonstrative!

• Vernon : I'm in a very curious position. Vicki wants a divorce. She wants me to take the case.

  Tony : [dismissively]  She hasn't got a case.

  Vernon : You struck her. That was a cowardly, brutal thing to do. A defenseless, helpless little woman.

  Tony : [laughs]  Ha! You're talking to her husband, not the jury!

• Tony : [to Vernon]  Shut up, you ambulance chaser!

• Tony : I feel an awful ass calling on Vicki with flowers and candy. Seems sort of silly.

  Tony : [Edna walks by, giving Tony a knowing look]  I never liked that woman. Never did. When she opened the door just now, she sort of smirked at me. You know, "Somebody else in your shoes now, you poor fish."

  Anita 'Nita' : Edna's a treasure. Vicki would never give *her* the air.

  Tony : *I* was a treasure once.

  Anita 'Nita' : *Edna* never hit her.

• Tony : [giving Vicki gifts of flowers and candies]  Here, I, uh, I brought these.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : Why, Tony! You never used to bring me flowers before we were divorced. And candy, too! How nice!

  Tony : [leaves the room to call out for George]  George, George!

  George Lancaster : What do you want?

  Tony : You win!

  George Lancaster : [laughs mockingly]  Ah, ha ha ha ha!

  Anita 'Nita' : [Tony goes back to the room with Anita and Vicki]  Well, what *does* he win, and why?

  Tony : He won just a little bet - 25 bucks.

  Anita 'Nita' : Don't be so mysterious.

  Tony : Well... I asked George, "Should I bring flowers." And he said, "You never used to take her flowers." And I said, "No." And he said, "Well, I wouldn't. She'll only make some crack about when you were married." And I said, "Oh, no, she wouldn't be so tactless!" And so we had a little bet about it... and you said it, and I lost.

  Anita 'Nita' : It was rather tactless at that.

  Vicki Wallace Thorpe : If you had an ounce of tact you'd have left five minutes ago to powder your nose!