"Want a wife? They're a fine thing to have around the house." So sayeth the sage, Kernel Nutt, proprietor of a matrimonial agency in his eager search for customers. He finally gets Smith a poor fellow who wants someone to sew buttons on his vest, to advertise in the Matrimonial Gazette. He receives an answer from a woman in a small town. They correspond for some time, each letter containing more than the one before. Then Smith gets an unexpected inheritance and decides to call off the marriage with Martha, and live a gay life. Martha has something to say about that though, and comes to the city to bring suit for breach of promise. Smith gives Nutt a bankroll and tells him to take his place when Martha arrives, thinking that his face will scare her off, but when a woman gets as ancient as Martha without corralling a husband, looks don't make much difference and she determines that Mr. Smith shall not elude her. Nutt does a "fade away" but is brought back by a detective, and forced at the point of a gun, to take the old spinster "for better or for worse, till death do us part, etc.," much to his chagrin.