Zimmerman is a German tailor. Two important men of the city visit Zim and induce him to sign as a volunteer, spurring him on by ordering fancy vests, full dress suits, etc. Zim, in the wild excitement of having received such a big order, signs the official papers without realizing what he is doing. It is only when Zim is home with his family that he realizes the terrible thing he has done. He shows his worry by refusing to eat his evening meal, and to inquiries as to what is wrong he answers, "Nothing, don't bother me." His family is not satisfied with such an answer. It is only after Mrs. Zim administers a strong dose of castor oil that poor Zim's flood gates give way. When his family appeal again he bursts into tears and exclaims, "I'm a valentine." Mrs. Zim goes into hysteria. The children summon the neighbors, who commiserate with poor Zim. Zim disconsolately goes to bed. In the middle of the night Mrs. Zim gets an idea. She hits upon the idea of rousing Dr. Platz and bribing him to give Zim a poor bill of health. They rustle Platz out of his tight slumber and put in their order. In the meantime Zim gets an early summons to appear for drill that evening. Zim tearfully goes to work. He regards each customer with suspicion, assuming a tubercular whisper for ordinary speech and replacing his natural walk with a limp. But his persecutors have not been backward. They have sent over their husky night watchman disguised as a doctor who puts Zim through a rigid examination. There is nothing for Zim to do but to go to war. Mrs. Zim has baked all sorts of cakes for Zim to take with him. His friends bring offerings of sausage and Limberger, which they stuff into Zim's uniform. His friends, the persecutors have sent him up a four dollar horse and an old gun. Zim departs amid wailing farewells. Zim accompanied by an improvised army recruited at twenty-five cents a head marches gallantly through the streets. Finally he arrives at the assembly hall. Instead of a call to arms he finds himself embroiled in a fashion show and while Mrs. Zim is weeping, Zim's fear of the horrors of war gives way to pleasure. Mrs. Zim is appraised of her husband's martial training and assumes the warpath herself with a broom and puts the fashion show to rout and gives her husband a real battle which makes him seek the trenches.