4/10
Million Dollar Problem
14 May 2024
Warning: Spoilers
What do we know about Hollywood and love? We actually know quite a bit; like love is stronger than anything, everyone has a true love, love can occur between people when they experience trauma together, and whoever the two most attractive people are on screen--they're the ones that will fall in love.

A gangster named Vincent Shelton (Edward Arnold) was released from prison to cheers and headlines. He had to let his fellow criminals down when he told them he was going straight. It's been done before (see "Picture Snatcher" (1933) or "The Little Giant" (1933)), but it's never easy.

In a set up you could see coming a mile away, a drunk rich kid named Stanton Casserly (Phillips Holmes) followed Vincent home from a club on Vince's first night of freedom. It was so out of the ordinary that I figured that A.) Stanton wasn't drunk, he was just pretending to be to get close to Vincent or B.) the writers were stretching their limited imagination in order to make a story.

It was B.

Stanton was legitimately drunk and he bizarrely followed a stranger home and even entered his house to sleep off his inebriation. It didn't make sense and it looked contrived, hence my enjoyment of the movie from then on was compromised.

I didn't know what kind of story would become of this event, but I knew one thing: he was going to fall in love with Vincent's daughter Francesca (Mary Carlisle). Just read the points I made about Hollywood and love at the beginning. Stanton and Francesca were the two most attractive people on screen.

As for how Stanton's drunken behavior unimaginatively created drama; it began with his mother and a newspaper article.

Stanton's mother, Elita Casserly (Marjorie Gateson), was set to marry a French con man named Pascal. Stanton tried his best to talk her out of it--he even showed her a telegram stating that he was a crook--but she made up her mind to sail to France and marry Pascal anyway.

Not long after Stanton's quarrel with his mother he saw Vincent's name, photo, and criminal history in the newspaper below an unrelated headline about kidnapping. That's when he came up with the idea that he'd pay Vincent to kidnap him and hold him for ransom. His mother would never leave while her baby was kidnapped, and she would pay handsomely for his safe return.

Stanton was taken to a remote cabin to hide out until Mrs. Casserly paid the ransom. Remember how I said that Stanton and Francesca had to fall in love? Guess who happened to be staying not too far from that remote cabin. Ah, yes. Francesca. She was staying with two old folks called Ma (Jane Darwell) and Pop (Spencer Charters). She met Stanton at a stream and you can guess the rest.

Even though I knew they would fall in love, I wasn't prepared for Francesca to be so deep in love after a few days that she'd risk her own life and safety for Stanton.

When Vincent's foes found out about his kidnapping scheme, they had plans to cut in on it themselves. There was no way they could've known about the kidnapping, but with one frayed string of evidence they were able to knit a full quilt. The deduction skills of people in the 30's was uncanny. Criminals and detectives alike only needed the smallest shred of tenuous evidence to figure things out when it was needed to advance the plot. As a result, they kidnapped Stanton and Francesca with plans to get the ransom money for themselves. They didn't know who Francesca was, but they knew who Stanton was.

Vincent found out where they were being held and arranged to see the two of them. He feigned not knowing who Francesca was so that he could get her to safety, but here is where the bafflingly deep love connection came into play.

"I won't leave without him," she said defiantly. "No. I'm in love with Stan."

Ugh! Stupid young girls frustrate me.

It's not like she's known this guy for years, or even months, and she knew nothing about him! She just found out that he roped her dad into a fake kidnapping plot and somehow that wasn't a red flag. Furthermore, it wasn't like she could do anything to help him. All she could do was die by his side, or be a hindrance because he'd have her to worry about.

Fran stayed in the cellar with Stan while her father cooked up a scheme that involved their kidnappers taking them to be married--and that's what they did.

Who writes this nonsense?

The movie ended with Stan and Fran happily married, Stan's mother sans Pascal, and Vince taking down his rivals even though it cost him his own life. If the story had been better written the ending would've been more appreciated. It wasn't and it wasn't.

Free on Odnoklassniki.
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