So apparently there is this group, lead by James Pritchard that is supposed to make sure Agatha Christies oeuvre is not turned into silly, useless, toneless adaptations of nothing -- oh sorry, I'm reviewing the movie already.
So Poirot is still the only one in the entire film you cant empathize with - because Branagh still character plays him as the choleric, emotionless can not act, but kicks every door open, one tone mask of a person, that almost rediscovers his childhood in an apple bobbing scene, but then almost gets killed for that - and then decides, to never show any emotion for the rest of the film.
Ariadne Oliver is played as a Bridget Jones "on a constant chocolate high" character by Tina Fey who serves two purposes throughout the movie, first to give the film any humanity and second to give the film the canvas the demographic that buys Tina Fey books as "self empowerment" needs to have a canvas to identify with. No one taught her method acting in a mostly method cast - so thats what you get. Tina Fey. Oh and make her Poirots best friend of course, you know - to increase Brenahs likeability and her on screen time, as the canvas the female audience will identify with. But its Tina Fay. In Venice, in the 1940s. In a horror house. In a mystery tale - explaining to the audience plotpoints, that were introduced by a childrens puppet show.
Javier Bardem is played by Riccardo Scamarcio, doing his best Javier Bardem impression in the role of Poirots bodyguard. The Javier Bardem character interestingly enough is also made into the most likeable character in the movie, because he is played by an actual actor being able to express emotions with a face.
Camerashots have the quality of the camera being tied to a carousel with the focus puller in place, being told "now" to get perfect focus halfway through the shot, on some characters face.
If its a shot from frog perspective, or over the shoulder, or overhead, depends on where the carousel horse ended up at that point. Plenty of circular motion and tight perspective in those camera pans though.
So to fix this, you use mashine gun frequency cuts, of course. Oh look, here is an iron mesh in a tunnel, filmed from an inch away! Perfect sharpness, on that auto focus!
Music is fine.
Film stock looks like digital, no character, no lenswork, and only color grading in post processing -- no depth of field, perfect focus, perfect lighting on closeups, in the darkest cellar with.lanterns being the only light - lighting HD rats, scattering on what look like crates from prop department "sturdy and plywood".
The sound department fixed that though, and is able to give the film some character with the strangest violoncello/contrabass sonatas you have heard in film for a while. But its a horror film apparently, so it serves a purpose and "Those children really died in here".
Sorry, I'm quoting a throw away plotline uttered by Poirots bodyguard to finish painting the scene.
So apparently, this is the new and more "edgy, kicks the door open" with a stone face Poirot, the Briget Jones demographic likes, because he hangs out with Tina Fey in a haunted house. Because thats what younger folks nowadays buy cinema tickets for.
Or so the person who murdered the Agatha Christie estate seemingly thought.
So Poirot is still the only one in the entire film you cant empathize with - because Branagh still character plays him as the choleric, emotionless can not act, but kicks every door open, one tone mask of a person, that almost rediscovers his childhood in an apple bobbing scene, but then almost gets killed for that - and then decides, to never show any emotion for the rest of the film.
Ariadne Oliver is played as a Bridget Jones "on a constant chocolate high" character by Tina Fey who serves two purposes throughout the movie, first to give the film any humanity and second to give the film the canvas the demographic that buys Tina Fey books as "self empowerment" needs to have a canvas to identify with. No one taught her method acting in a mostly method cast - so thats what you get. Tina Fey. Oh and make her Poirots best friend of course, you know - to increase Brenahs likeability and her on screen time, as the canvas the female audience will identify with. But its Tina Fay. In Venice, in the 1940s. In a horror house. In a mystery tale - explaining to the audience plotpoints, that were introduced by a childrens puppet show.
Javier Bardem is played by Riccardo Scamarcio, doing his best Javier Bardem impression in the role of Poirots bodyguard. The Javier Bardem character interestingly enough is also made into the most likeable character in the movie, because he is played by an actual actor being able to express emotions with a face.
Camerashots have the quality of the camera being tied to a carousel with the focus puller in place, being told "now" to get perfect focus halfway through the shot, on some characters face.
If its a shot from frog perspective, or over the shoulder, or overhead, depends on where the carousel horse ended up at that point. Plenty of circular motion and tight perspective in those camera pans though.
So to fix this, you use mashine gun frequency cuts, of course. Oh look, here is an iron mesh in a tunnel, filmed from an inch away! Perfect sharpness, on that auto focus!
Music is fine.
Film stock looks like digital, no character, no lenswork, and only color grading in post processing -- no depth of field, perfect focus, perfect lighting on closeups, in the darkest cellar with.lanterns being the only light - lighting HD rats, scattering on what look like crates from prop department "sturdy and plywood".
The sound department fixed that though, and is able to give the film some character with the strangest violoncello/contrabass sonatas you have heard in film for a while. But its a horror film apparently, so it serves a purpose and "Those children really died in here".
Sorry, I'm quoting a throw away plotline uttered by Poirots bodyguard to finish painting the scene.
So apparently, this is the new and more "edgy, kicks the door open" with a stone face Poirot, the Briget Jones demographic likes, because he hangs out with Tina Fey in a haunted house. Because thats what younger folks nowadays buy cinema tickets for.
Or so the person who murdered the Agatha Christie estate seemingly thought.