I hadn't heard of this before I stumbled across it online, and my lord, I knew why almost immediately.
I get what they're going for here. It's an Agatha Christie homage type thing with a plot heavily inspired by Christie's And Then There Were None.
But there are so many baffling choices.
The first being, why set it in England?
NONE of the cast can do an even passable English accent, and when your lead is doing an almost unbearably bad one (even though she was BORN in London), someone should have said "let's just set it in America".
The woman who is supposed to be Spanish thinks Spanish people end every word with "shhhhh" for some reason.
The next issue is the appalling acting. Bad accents aside, they can't act. At all. None of them seem to have any talent, especially the lead, who just fails at being clever or self-assured.
Watch one scene where she's supposedly using powers of deduction to say whether people are telling the truth. It's very Holmes-like, but if Holmes were written by a toddler with no understanding of what made that character clever.
We also have the historical inaccuracies. There are so many problems and anachronisms that I stopped counting for fear of going mad.
Here are a couple.
British police carrying weapons.
A butler/servant with a horribly misaligned tie (in an exclusive, rich household, are you mad?).
At one point, our lead (a supposed mystery addict) calls Poirot "Inspector Poirot", which bugged me more than I care to mention.
The only nice thing about this film are the sets, which are quite gorgeous. Their location team chose a good place to set this story.
There are also a couple of nicely composed shots, and the direction on the whole is competent.
Everything else is terrible though. Every time the lead tries to be clever or make deductions, you'll get annoyed, trust me. Her delivery is just that awful.
(The script doesn't help either...)
A lot of this could have been avoided if they had just set the film in the US and let the cast use their real accents. Maybe then the acting would have passed muster.
I looked into the crew behind the film, and they seem to have all produced children's movies of varying degrees of terrible. Nothing really worth watching, so I suppose they were challenging themselves here.
Apparently, the lead actress has been doing this for ages. Mischa, her name is, but I can't see how she could have been acting for so long and not have learned anything.
No one else is really worth noting here.
Avoid at all costs.
I get what they're going for here. It's an Agatha Christie homage type thing with a plot heavily inspired by Christie's And Then There Were None.
But there are so many baffling choices.
The first being, why set it in England?
NONE of the cast can do an even passable English accent, and when your lead is doing an almost unbearably bad one (even though she was BORN in London), someone should have said "let's just set it in America".
The woman who is supposed to be Spanish thinks Spanish people end every word with "shhhhh" for some reason.
The next issue is the appalling acting. Bad accents aside, they can't act. At all. None of them seem to have any talent, especially the lead, who just fails at being clever or self-assured.
Watch one scene where she's supposedly using powers of deduction to say whether people are telling the truth. It's very Holmes-like, but if Holmes were written by a toddler with no understanding of what made that character clever.
We also have the historical inaccuracies. There are so many problems and anachronisms that I stopped counting for fear of going mad.
Here are a couple.
British police carrying weapons.
A butler/servant with a horribly misaligned tie (in an exclusive, rich household, are you mad?).
At one point, our lead (a supposed mystery addict) calls Poirot "Inspector Poirot", which bugged me more than I care to mention.
The only nice thing about this film are the sets, which are quite gorgeous. Their location team chose a good place to set this story.
There are also a couple of nicely composed shots, and the direction on the whole is competent.
Everything else is terrible though. Every time the lead tries to be clever or make deductions, you'll get annoyed, trust me. Her delivery is just that awful.
(The script doesn't help either...)
A lot of this could have been avoided if they had just set the film in the US and let the cast use their real accents. Maybe then the acting would have passed muster.
I looked into the crew behind the film, and they seem to have all produced children's movies of varying degrees of terrible. Nothing really worth watching, so I suppose they were challenging themselves here.
Apparently, the lead actress has been doing this for ages. Mischa, her name is, but I can't see how she could have been acting for so long and not have learned anything.
No one else is really worth noting here.
Avoid at all costs.