5/10
Beautiful Disaster, Come for a Mystery Stay for the Chandeliers
24 June 2023
So the acting in this flick is absolutely terrible but it certainly did not get any help from the writing. I am a life long fan of Agatha Christie and other mystery authors, as well as some film noir and I'm a little crazy about giallos. I also love a good mystery-comedy like the 1985 classic, Clue: The Movie with Tim Curry and Madeline Kahn. I would go as far as to say that Clue is one of my top five favorite films of all time. I thought more recent films like Knives Out and See How They Run were both fun and entertaining, while not being up to my highest standards. BUT THIS....did a teenager write this screenplay as fan fiction or what?

Casting a middle aged woman as the obnoxious but lovable, brilliant Hercule Poirot in a skirt could have worked. Could have. An older, curvier Mischa Barton can't plod through movies on her youthful glamorous looks anymore - she's borderline unrecognizable as an average, curvy blonde of about 40 - but that's not the problem: she can't act.

At bottom it is the writing that is terrible, though, that much is clear by the multiple caricatures which should be delightful and funny but just end up coming across as wooden and ridiculous.

There is a enormous dark house with chandeliers, and I do love a nice pair of vintage curtains.
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