Murder, She Wrote: The Szechuan Dragon (1990)
Season 6, Episode 21
6/10
A hit-and-miss comedic satire of The Maltese Falcon
4 March 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Jessica appears only via telephone from London where she is about to meet the Queen, who is going to see her cousin Emma performing on stage.

Fans who want a dramatic mystery with a few chuckles (the way this series normally works) will be disappointed as this one turns out to be one that almost totally emphasizes humor. Unfortunately, some of the humor wasn't very good.

After a dock scene where a woman approaches a sailor at gunpoint, demanding he turn over some unspecified "thing" to her, we go to Maine to see nephew Grady and wife Donna arriving to "house sit" for Jessica while she is away, with the real intention on Grady's part to get his 7-month-pregnant wife away from the big city for a while.

I know others have complained about Grady's character every time he appears. This is one time I agree. His big flaw this time is being so ridiculously overprotective of his wife's health that it is a wonder she didn't grab one of those ubiquitous fireplace pokers and become a widow.

Others have described the plot in detail. Briefly, we get a peg-legged sailor, a young woman, a man from the Orient (Cambodia, just to be different), and another man all searching for this mysterious object worth a fortune. The sailor had it and they follow him to Cabot Cove, where we eventually learn it is like the Maltese Falcon, only a most- unattractive figurine.

Before dawn after their first night at Jessica's, Donna is awakened by a noise in the house, and sends Grady to investigate. They discover-guess what? A body, of course.

Later, Grady is home when the Cambodian knocks on the door, claiming to have an order to fix the telephone. Grady is so dimwitted here, ignoring the fact that his gray work shirt has no company or individual name tag. But when the man says some strange things about his aunt, Grady asks for some I. D. The man goes wild, doing his best Bruce Lee impression, threatening to kill Grady if he doesn't give him the "thing," and he goes more berserk kicking chairs apart and all when Grady has no idea what it is he wants.

In true comic-book style action, Grady is saved when the sheriff comes in, having been called by Donna, who had gone next door and seen the repairman be admitted by dimwit, I mean Grady.

During the next night's sleep, Grady wakes up and goes downstairs on his own. A knock at the door leads to him opening it and readily admitting that woman who claims her car broke down. As soon as he admits her, she starts cozying up to him, asking for his help and he lets her stroke his hair and even kiss him-which of course happens just as Donna comes into the room in time to see him. I thought her approaches should have made him instantly afraid Donna would come in and back off. Had I written it, she would have just talked to him and not gotten so chummy until just before Donna entered. My way would have kept Grady from looking so stupid.

Grady, Sheriff Metzger, and Seth all phone Jessica at one time or another, and she winds up putting together what she is told to solve the case from overseas after she was initially perplexed at Grady's calls where he tried to get her help without revealing anything about the havoc going on in her house-the murder, burglary, and lots of damage to her property.

I was going to give this episode a 4, but there was one good laugh, provided by Seth at the conclusion that makes me raise my score to a 6. To enjoy this one, don't treat it as anything other than a spoof of The Maltese Falcon.
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