Review of The Blacklist

The Blacklist (2013–2023)
3/10
A claptrap spy story devoid of intelligence
12 October 2021
Warning: Spoilers
Rating based on episode one, I will never make it to S1/E2.

This is a show entirely built on cheap mindless dramatic effects that lack any plausibility. And I mean any. Laughable attempts to create some connection to the protagonist, senseless and trite overdramatization of situations and characters (if you can call them such)

Here is the spoiler, just to demonstrate the amount of stupidity they managed to cram into a single minute of the show. The general's daughter is kidnapped by terrorists while federal agents that learned about the plot are taking her from her ballet lesson to safety. Instead of walking into the ballet school and picking her up, the bad guys chose to kidnap her from the heavily armed convoy in a deadly gunfight. They guess in advance when the convoy will cross which bridge as they just closed it down dressed as clean-up crew. They turn the convoy around and t-bone the kid's car with a dumper truck (how they guessed which car to hit?). This could have easily killed the child but served no rational purpose (it separated that car from the rest, but they killed all the commando members anyhow, so it did not matter). Well, except the lightly armed office-worker main characters, they of course survived and killed some terrorists. The terrorists they handed a gas mask into the wrecked vehicle for the heroine to put it on the kid (how they predicted that there will be one survivor with her?) then dropped in a tear gas cannister in a very dramatic manner in the car (again it is entirely unclear what purpose that served to get the kid) and then they tried to shoot our hero (yet again, not clear why since they had the kid and heroine was supposedly incapacitated) that cost villain his life as hero B killed the other terrorists by then (that this villain apparently failed to notice) and got to the car. And this was just one minute of the movie. There were many more. Way too many.

Oh, and did I mention that there is absolutely no reason for the kidnapping in the first place. The alleged purpose is so that they deliver a bomb with her, but that does not happen. They just put a bomb on the kid's back in the zoo but no one should guess that she was even in the zoo (how the heroine figures that out is by far the most implausible brainfart cacophony I have ever witnessed in a film and man have I seen senseless garbage before or what). So if the bomb blows up, no one could have gotten the message that it was on the kid an how bad boys they were. And surely they could have delivered the bomb there without the kiddo and without the count-down clock visible on her backpack from a mile away). How he is saved from the bomb would also rank high on my implausiblo-meter but in the context of this movie it was barely a blip on the radar: here one main character pokes a pencil in the other's carotid artery based on some sudden inspiration that remains unexplained to the unsuspecting viewer, apparently as a warning to have a constructive conversation and also to build trust between them (after the antihero similarly treated hubby's femoral artery for similarly unexplained reasons).

Anyhow, if you are tripping or just sufficiently high and dull, you may want to give it a careful try. For the rest of us, I would strongly recommend that you avoid this turkey at all cost. Watch the trailer and you get all the joy out of this series without paying the heavy price of watching a full episode.
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