The Seventh Day (I) (2021)
1/10
You Know The Devil Wants You To Think You're Smart...
30 June 2021
Warning: Spoilers
If you watch this movie and think that somehow you're a brainiac for figuring out the twist, You are precisely the audience this movie was made for. This movie, like many others in the spiritual or paranormal genre, are dumb movies made specifically for an audience to feel like they're somehow intelligent.

So, if you liked The Conjuring: The Devil Made Me Do It.... You will love this incoherent batch of set pieces and stupidity.

Guy Pearce who is one of my favorite actors, one movie in particular "the Rover" is one of the best films he has been in. This movie however, is nothing like that one, and unfortunately Guy's character could have easily have been replaced with a coffee maker.

We enter the movie with Keith David, an actor who I actually enjoy, putting his act together for an exorcism, with another actor who is playing the younger version of Guy Pearce. The exorcism goes terribly wrong and of course Father Peter has to take over, and tragedy ensues.

A new priest is being auditioned for a part after atttending a 2 week school on exorcisms and is going to be working with Father Peter. Father Daniel, is a complete Newb, and Father Peter schools him in the ways of how to find a demon.

They go on a road trip to a homeless camp, a house where a kid murdered his family, a haunted roller rink with a Ouija Board, with 3 idiot children, We see the dead, we see jump scares, then we go see the kid who is in jail. The kid, who is in fact possessed goes berserk and starts murdering everyone and only Father Peter, and Father Daniel can escape the prison with the kid, which of course they do without any argument from all the dead people in the prison that suddenly becomes empty out of nowhere.

They go back to the house where it all started and of course, Father Daniel realizes that it is in fact Father Peter who is actually possessed and putting together a demon army full of priests possessed by devils. The ending of course has Daniel killing Peter and the tidy ending is wrapped up by Steven Lang, who tells Daniel that the kid will be okay, and hands him a folder of all the exorcists trained by Father Peter.

Within 10 minutes of this film starting I knew exactly where it was going for the simple fact that the writing in this was so patently obvious that only an absolute moron would not be able to see where it was headed. There is one piece of dialog at the beginning of the movie, and another during the homeless shelter scenes that give it all away. This movie lacked the depth, and the scope needed to adequately portray the horrors of what it is to be an Exorcist, and or under possession. This movie had the potential to be amazing and instead it was more or less a dumber version of "Constantine" if that were actually possible.

This movie should have been given a better budget, an actual script that was not written by a 12 year old with their catechism under their belt. What they needed to really do was oh I don't know, borrow from better movies such as "The Rite" or that one movie with Heath Ledger where he became a sin eater.

That said, quite frankly this movie could have been far far better, but what little direction it had, was wasted on a terrible script with a terrible plot. The acting was not that great, but it was far better than some films I have seen this year. (Chaos Walking, The Conjuring)

It's unfortunate that for all the work that was put into it, it's still a terrible film. If you're 11 years old, this movie will be okay. If you are 50, you are going to have your intelligence insulted. Unless you're just an idiot.
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