6/10
ROCK CONCEPTION
7 October 2020
Sex with a rock. Not sex with The Rock, just A rock. A Navajo native awkwardly makes love to a mountain top, in what may symbolizes a connection with the land? Guessing is the number one activity in this absolutely bizarre sensual feast of a movie.

Owning a Terrence Malik Stanley Kubrik David Lynch surrealistic bent, complete with stunning cinematography, a sweet soundtrack, dedicated yet stunted acting, and puzzling tangents, "Valley of the Gods" is deliciously perfect for mushroom season. It also features Keir Dullea (you know who you are).

All through his varied screen career, John Malkovich has always been best when bad, and here he gets to flex his wicked muscle. As the world's richest dude and eccentric oddball, he gets to play tennis inside his palatial manor on a marble floor, catapult a rolls royce off a cliff, and mummy wrap a bunch of dogs. Or is it deer? Some kinda animal. Whatever the case, Malkovich musta had hisself a helluva time shooting this thing.

There is some semblance of a plot that involves a struggling writer, the prospect of a uranium mine, sacred Native ground, and a wacky dude playing god, but it exists merely to pose way more questions than answers. Do stay for the jaw dropping ending, which tries to wrap this crazy mess in some kind of circular fashion, if that is possible. It is not. But wow, what a heckuva swing!

Audacious to say the least, "Valley of the Gods" is an impressionistic head scratcher, and in the days of lazy cookie cutter flicks, that may not be such a bad thing.

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