The Church (1989)
1/10
Mediocre in many ways.
10 May 2020
This film is entirely shot around a grand Gothic cathedral, taking full advantage of the grandeur and beauty of the monument and medieval art. The script, by Dario Argento, is full of flaws and options that could have been better thought out.

The story begins in the Middle Ages, when a group of Teutonic knights killed an entire German village of devil worshipers. The massacre is quite brutal, and neither children nor animals have been spared. The bodies were then grouped in a mass grave, covered with lime and earth and forgotten... or not! A large cathedral was built on the site. Six or seven centuries later, in our time, the building is undergoing important works of restoration. During these works, a parchment is found and reveals the existence of a secret compartment, behind a stone with seven engraved eyes. Knowing that the cathedral is the only one of its kind without a single tomb - with the exception of the church architect - the diocesan librarian begins to suspect that the building may have kept some secret or treasure chamber and decides to look for it. But the cathedral's secret is darker and more dangerous than he thinks.

As I said, the film has a very amateur script, taking into account the reputation of Argento and the director, Michele Soavi. I think the massacre is revealed too soon, it would have been more interesting if it had appeared in the middle of the film, as an explanation for events that had happened before. It also seems inconceivable that the whole church has only one entrance. Anyone who knows a minimum of religious architecture knows that a cathedral always has at least three doors: the main door, the service door for the use of priests and access to the sacristy, and also the so-called "Holy Door", which is usually solemnly opened in jubilee years, for the pilgrims who want to receive some indulgences by passing through it. A good consultant was lacking here.

The cast did a mediocre job, but couldn't do much better with the material they received. Barbara Cupisti and Tomas Arana were not bad at first, but they lose their shine and prominence from the middle and end up underutilized. Hugh Quarshie and Feodor Chaliapin (who gave life to Jorge in "The Name of the Rose") did a good job and stand out. Asia Argento starts off badly, with her character resembling just another Lolita, with her sexuality repressed by her father, but ends up blooming and proving to be a good addition to the cast. All the rest are there to die: we have a vain woman who dies when she looks ugly in a mirror, an elderly wife who kills her husband after getting tired of hearing him grumble and a sacristan who commits suicide. Deaths are almost always grotesque.

Amateurism persists in technical aspects. The only totally positive technical aspect is the soundtrack, by Keith Emerson, Goblin and Philip Glass, which helped a lot to create and amplify the dramatic tension, when it was possible. Cinematography is quite dated and common, but at least it takes advantage of the Gothic beauty of the famous Matias Church in Budapest. The Danube bridge in this city was also well used for a very brief, but well-done, fast-forward scene. In spite of this, the film does not mention a specific city as the stage of the events. The choice of Budapest for filming was, perhaps, due to lighter financial and fiscal policies for film productions. The special, visual and sound effects are very bad and it is clear that they are fake. The blood looks like raspberry juice, the creature is clearly a man in a suit or a group of men... the disaster is complete. I could also talk about the costumes of the Teutonic knights, the strange aspect of the helmets and weapons or how they look like the KKK, but I prefer not to develop this subject. Mediocre.
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