I have rarely ever been baffled by a movie. The Snowman baffled me.
Oh, I'm not saying that the mystery in The Snowman was so elaborately crafted that it kept my guessing the entire time. The Snowman is a borderline incomprehensible mess of a film that one must see to even understand that it was allowed to exist. Wikipedia describes it as a "psychological crime horror thriller" which ... um ... there's a killer and some gore, but it is not thrilling or psychological in any way.
The Snowman is director Tomas Alfredson's (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Let The Right One In) adaptation of the seventh novel in the detective Harry Hole series by Jo Nesbo. Now, I have no idea why they chose to adapt the seventh book specifically, I just assume it's because it had a marketable (if highly comical) gimmick and that it had been a while since the post-Se7en serial killer fad died down. Plus maybe they wanted to make a Norweigian Dirty Harry-esque series with Michael Fassbender, fresh off an Oscar nomination, to be the face of a revival of a long-dormant genre.
Brilliant, alcoholic and horribly depressed Norwegian detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) is dealing with the break-up between him and his girlfriend Rakel (Charlotte Gainsburg) and their teenage son Oleg (who for some reason doesn't know Harry is his father?) as Rakel has moved on to a new husband. Harry gets a mysterious letter that has a crudely drawn snowman on it just as a woman goes missing. A new police officer named Katrine (Rebecca Ferguson) tags along as the number of missing persons rise, and a link to a decade-old case in another town come up involving another legendary alcoholic cop Gert Rafto (Val Kilmer). Of course all is not as it seems, as Katrine is also tailing businessman Arve Stop (JK Simmons) for some secret reason. Is this all connected? What is the significance of the snowman? Why do these scenes barely connect? Is this even the plot?
With that out of the way, The Snowman is a mesmerizing mess of editing. In fact it might be one of the worst edited movies I've ever seen. Even if the director didn't announce that a chunk of the script was unfilmed you can easily tell by the way this Frankenstein's monster is stitched together. Scenes just happen with zero establishing. Subplots are added out of nowhere just to be dropped and forgotten - I'm looking at you, mold. The editing is so chaotic that at some points it looks like Michael Fassbender can teleport. Characters are set up and just vanish with no explanation. All the few scenes with Val Kilmer are just randomly spliced into the movie at unconnected moments and could easily have been cut out. The film has a cold opening scene that feels like it was pieced together with several different scripted versions of it. I could go on for days on how random this film can be but I'll leave it at that.
In one of the weirdest things I'll ever say (thanks The Snowman!): while I know what happened in the movie, I'm not sure what the plot really was. I did my best to cobble together what was going on, but between the editing and missing scenes at times I needed to jump to a synopsis to understand what I was seeing. The basic detective plot would be enough for the movie, akin to David Fincher's Se7en, but with the half-dozen subplots being spliced in at seemingly random times with little-to-no relation to the investigation it's beyond lunacy. The Val Kilmer scenes in particular could and should have been cut because they do nothing but make the film more confusing. The revelation of the killer is almost an afterthought and comes across as the film picking a name out of a hat. It's hard enough to figure what is going on in a scene due to the editing, but juggling so much story makes The Snowman incomprehensible at times.
I'm not sure what the heck was going on with the direction of Tomas Alfredson and the team that made The Snowman, but there's something just off with the execution. An all-star cast was assembled but all other choices are wrong. The performances of all our leads are in that "just read the lines as written" style with no one really trying to emote - more akin to a 1980s Italian horror film than a major Hollywood production. Accents are all over the place - JK Simmons in particular is sporting a "British" accent more at home in a Saturday Night Live sketch. There's a child actor that I'm convinced wasn't aware their character was supposed to be grieving for their dead mother. It's just inexplicable.
It's hard to even recommend The Snowman ironically; there's no joy here, only bewilderment. Moments of filmmaking madness are sprinkled throughout; it's a film that should not have been released as is. You don't even get Fassbender acting with any of the raw intensity; he seems annoyed that he's stuck playing a nothing character. The only reason I was able to get through this is because I was fascinated by what painful decision the production would make next. There might be a good film buried underneath layers upon layers of bad choices. It almost comes across as an act of self-sabotage when you get those small glimpses of competence immediately followed by a terrible edit or soundtrack choice (the killer's signature song is Popcorn by Hot Butter, seriously). In some ways this movie should be studied as a master class on how to waste talent.
The Snowman made me sad. I love Michael Fassbender. I love JK Simmons. I love Rebecca Ferguson. I loved Se7en, Saw and a lot of the films that ripped them off. I enjoy the serial killer sub-genre. The Snowman should have been a new film to call my own.
The Snowman should be far better than it is. Superb casting could not save a movie where I legitimately wonder if it was cursed by a witch. Whatever could have gone wrong, did go wrong. A thriller without thrills, a horror without scares, The Snowman left me wishing I was anywhere else. The Snowman is incoherent, badly edited, blandly acted, and a chore to sit through. There are times I thought a good movie was trying to peak through this blizzard of badness, but it just couldn't find its way out. I'm certain that someone with a clear vision could make a good movie or miniseries based on the Nesbo series of books, but The Snowman is as big of a misfire as I've ever seen.
Oh, I'm not saying that the mystery in The Snowman was so elaborately crafted that it kept my guessing the entire time. The Snowman is a borderline incomprehensible mess of a film that one must see to even understand that it was allowed to exist. Wikipedia describes it as a "psychological crime horror thriller" which ... um ... there's a killer and some gore, but it is not thrilling or psychological in any way.
The Snowman is director Tomas Alfredson's (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Let The Right One In) adaptation of the seventh novel in the detective Harry Hole series by Jo Nesbo. Now, I have no idea why they chose to adapt the seventh book specifically, I just assume it's because it had a marketable (if highly comical) gimmick and that it had been a while since the post-Se7en serial killer fad died down. Plus maybe they wanted to make a Norweigian Dirty Harry-esque series with Michael Fassbender, fresh off an Oscar nomination, to be the face of a revival of a long-dormant genre.
Brilliant, alcoholic and horribly depressed Norwegian detective Harry Hole (Michael Fassbender) is dealing with the break-up between him and his girlfriend Rakel (Charlotte Gainsburg) and their teenage son Oleg (who for some reason doesn't know Harry is his father?) as Rakel has moved on to a new husband. Harry gets a mysterious letter that has a crudely drawn snowman on it just as a woman goes missing. A new police officer named Katrine (Rebecca Ferguson) tags along as the number of missing persons rise, and a link to a decade-old case in another town come up involving another legendary alcoholic cop Gert Rafto (Val Kilmer). Of course all is not as it seems, as Katrine is also tailing businessman Arve Stop (JK Simmons) for some secret reason. Is this all connected? What is the significance of the snowman? Why do these scenes barely connect? Is this even the plot?
With that out of the way, The Snowman is a mesmerizing mess of editing. In fact it might be one of the worst edited movies I've ever seen. Even if the director didn't announce that a chunk of the script was unfilmed you can easily tell by the way this Frankenstein's monster is stitched together. Scenes just happen with zero establishing. Subplots are added out of nowhere just to be dropped and forgotten - I'm looking at you, mold. The editing is so chaotic that at some points it looks like Michael Fassbender can teleport. Characters are set up and just vanish with no explanation. All the few scenes with Val Kilmer are just randomly spliced into the movie at unconnected moments and could easily have been cut out. The film has a cold opening scene that feels like it was pieced together with several different scripted versions of it. I could go on for days on how random this film can be but I'll leave it at that.
In one of the weirdest things I'll ever say (thanks The Snowman!): while I know what happened in the movie, I'm not sure what the plot really was. I did my best to cobble together what was going on, but between the editing and missing scenes at times I needed to jump to a synopsis to understand what I was seeing. The basic detective plot would be enough for the movie, akin to David Fincher's Se7en, but with the half-dozen subplots being spliced in at seemingly random times with little-to-no relation to the investigation it's beyond lunacy. The Val Kilmer scenes in particular could and should have been cut because they do nothing but make the film more confusing. The revelation of the killer is almost an afterthought and comes across as the film picking a name out of a hat. It's hard enough to figure what is going on in a scene due to the editing, but juggling so much story makes The Snowman incomprehensible at times.
I'm not sure what the heck was going on with the direction of Tomas Alfredson and the team that made The Snowman, but there's something just off with the execution. An all-star cast was assembled but all other choices are wrong. The performances of all our leads are in that "just read the lines as written" style with no one really trying to emote - more akin to a 1980s Italian horror film than a major Hollywood production. Accents are all over the place - JK Simmons in particular is sporting a "British" accent more at home in a Saturday Night Live sketch. There's a child actor that I'm convinced wasn't aware their character was supposed to be grieving for their dead mother. It's just inexplicable.
It's hard to even recommend The Snowman ironically; there's no joy here, only bewilderment. Moments of filmmaking madness are sprinkled throughout; it's a film that should not have been released as is. You don't even get Fassbender acting with any of the raw intensity; he seems annoyed that he's stuck playing a nothing character. The only reason I was able to get through this is because I was fascinated by what painful decision the production would make next. There might be a good film buried underneath layers upon layers of bad choices. It almost comes across as an act of self-sabotage when you get those small glimpses of competence immediately followed by a terrible edit or soundtrack choice (the killer's signature song is Popcorn by Hot Butter, seriously). In some ways this movie should be studied as a master class on how to waste talent.
The Snowman made me sad. I love Michael Fassbender. I love JK Simmons. I love Rebecca Ferguson. I loved Se7en, Saw and a lot of the films that ripped them off. I enjoy the serial killer sub-genre. The Snowman should have been a new film to call my own.
The Snowman should be far better than it is. Superb casting could not save a movie where I legitimately wonder if it was cursed by a witch. Whatever could have gone wrong, did go wrong. A thriller without thrills, a horror without scares, The Snowman left me wishing I was anywhere else. The Snowman is incoherent, badly edited, blandly acted, and a chore to sit through. There are times I thought a good movie was trying to peak through this blizzard of badness, but it just couldn't find its way out. I'm certain that someone with a clear vision could make a good movie or miniseries based on the Nesbo series of books, but The Snowman is as big of a misfire as I've ever seen.