4/10
Wolfie Watches: DragonHeart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse
1 February 2020
I wrote this ages ago, but I thought I'd publish it since the fifth movie is about to be released.

If you were expecting a sequel to my favorite film of all time, you would be wrong. It has nothing to do with the original movie. It actually has nothing to do with anything. But I'm a sucker for sword-and-sorcery movies, and had to see it regardless. Plus it was on Netflix and I was already laying there.

Primer: There are only three things you should expect from a DragonHeart "sequel"

1. A dragon sharing his heart with a human

2. The Old Code of the Arthurian knights being recited

3. That fantastic, tearjerking musical theme the original is famous for.

This movie managed to half-ass all three. The dragon shares his heart, but with the most implausible motivation (which is technically based on a lie that the hero never owns up to). Also, the heart-sharing mechanics don't work the same as the original. The Old Code is never recited in its entirety; just phrases here and there. And the trademark music does play... for like 15 seconds as a dragon egg shares its heart? sacrifices its life force by magical abortion or suicide? or something to a poorly developed character that we've become mildly concerned about.

Even taken on its own, DragonHeart 3 is not a very good movie. Nothing is remotely plausible. Drago (c'mon, you guys can name a dragon better than that!) shares his heart with Gareth after knowing him for 5 minutes. An old lady gives Gareth a pendant she "would have wanted her son to give to his true love" after knowing him for half an hour. There is one other woman in the movie, and after a tumultuous four days of adventuring and about 10 lines back and forth with Gareth, guess who gets the pendant? And we didn't even get to see the dragon egg hatch. I feel ripped off.

I didn't hate it, but in a few years I'll be like... "DragonHeart 4? Oh yeah, that's right: they made a third one." I kind of hated the second one, but I appreciated that it was a kid-friendly PG so you could start the young 'uns early on DragonHeart. This one's a tame PG-13, but not an obvious "kids' movie." Will probably play on streaming and cable a lot.

One positive thing to say: the CGI ghost effects for Drago were pretty cool. They should've done more with the "shadow jumping" idea, because that was pretty neat.

The best scene is after the credits, so if you watch it, make sure you don't miss it.

Wolfie's verdict: Didn't like it, didn't hate it, didn't care.
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