Twisted Pair (2018)
1/10
Boring
22 December 2019
Warning: Spoilers
"This is very serious." Yes indeed, it is and in a stern manner. How fitting that Breen sits in a cinema in this movie - probably his own movie - and he's the only one in the movie house. The irony. Most of the movie is Breen screened, I mean green screened. Those prop rats are just made of rubber and not even real. "That girl I met earlier, I'm going to follow her." Yer, prove that you're a creep. Is Breen some sort of cult leader? He has that loony heir of grace about him to attract Manson-like devotees. This home invasion/assault scene is flat out creepy & disturbing. "You're mine! You can't resist me now!" Armed hold ups; abductions and captured business men in chains? This quote from the chained up business man is golden, "I knew this was gonna come back to b -" To b what? Poor editing. This is dark natured & disturbing. (And yes, I'm watching this as I write all this down.) Cop spots a pink needle, "Wait, what did I just see?" Oh great, exposition! Is this Star Wars 9? It's a wonder he didn't say, "It's a hypodermic." Do you even know what you're doing in your own movies, Breen? Violence against women eh, Breen? Love the brutal impact sound effects when he slaps that lady. (Are you using Microsoft movie maker?) Breen wouldn't happen to be a former Devo member by any chance, would he? I fear that if you watch enough Neil Breen movies you may be tempted to join some special group and drink the tainted Cool Aid which now comes in 5 new delicious flavors. This is just boring and void of any interest! What's with the flash of light whenever you enter most doors, Breen? A Sixth Sense reference? Oh man, I'm 1 hour and 4 minutes into this atrocity and I thought it was over but there's still 24 minutes to go. (Lord grant me a pardon for my wicked sins.) Even that eagle scene was green screened and recycled. Or was it a falcon? The war-torn ran shackled apartment building scenes with the army guys looked like it was filmed in East Detroit. The restaurant just looked like the side of a cinema. The Chaos headquarters resembles a college. Thinks he's super Mario Brothers jumping around all the pipes. The villains name in this is hilarious and you can't understand one word it says. I can't help but to compare Breen to either Ron Moss or the lead singer from System of a Down with that silly beard. None of the actors, not even Breen himself, are given any lines to work with. And can any of you people in this movie show some enthusiasm please? Is that out of the realms of possibility? A.I. Artificial Insanity. Are Breen's films designed for the Hallmark Channel by any chance? I thought you were gonna say, "I'll be back," At the end, Breen. What's ya story, Breen? You an astral traveler, Scientologist or a black belt Lutheran? And why do you only star in your own movies? Why aren't other film makers in Hollywood hiring you for their projects? Who knows, with a better budget and proper direction your true talents may just shine through and come to the fold. Sorry but this one's a miss.
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