7/10
"Ah, he's turned his crotch into a clown car!"
23 October 2019
This MST episode is from the revival season of the series, "The Return." Generally speaking, I do not find any episodes from the new seasons to be classics nor do any of them even approach the funniness of anything from the original run for me (except maybe Hamlet because that episode sucks balls) and in rating the new episodes I don't see myself putting any of them above a 7, aside from Yongary, which is great, and maybe Avalanche. That said, I am NOT a hater, I LIKE Jonah, I LIKE the new 'bots, I AM glad the new seasons are here and I do enjoy them, I just do not find the writing to be as natural or witty as the original seasons.

Moving on, this episode has a few genuine laugh-out-loud moments for me, which is great. I am a bit surprised to see that this is the lowest rated episode of the season as I find it to be among the overall funnier ones from the new seasons, with the exception of the ongoing "wittle baby" joke, which I get but is just not that funny after the first couple of times it is used and makes me want to die from cringeitis. Despite the baby joke, I do not really know why this episode is rated lower than the rest because the funny bits are really funny. But I have an idea...

What I suspect we may have here is the equivalent of the "Squirm" episode from the original run--but don't get me wrong, this is nowhere as funny as Squirm. What I mean is that the movie itself is perfect fodder for the crew and the riffs are funny but despite that, the movie is just plain unpleasant to watch. All of the cast members in The Christmas that Almost Wasn't, sorry to say it, are unappealing; everyone just looks scary and dirty and old except for Prim. Ironically, the villain is the least creepy looking character next to Prim. The elves are creepy, Mrs. Claus is creepy, Santa is creepy, Jonathan--well I don't know who came up with the look for this guy, talk about scary looking. Sam is only kind of creepy but is referred to as a "boy" by everyone despite being at LEAST 50 years old (probably older) which is just bizarre and off-putting. So I wonder if the "blechness" of the movie counteracts the funniness.

What is disappointing about this movie in and of itself (disregarding anything MST-related) is that the story is actually not bad. It's not a particularly bad idea, it was just HORRIBLY executed. This is a rare situation in which a remake would be a good thing.

Bottom line: this is a decent episode in the new run, but I do not consider it (or any new episodes) a must-see for either fans or newbs. I would not start here if you are new to the show or trying to introduce it to someone but stop by if you have played out the old Christmas episodes. :)
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