Just a deleted scene, not a film
14 July 2019
Warning: Spoilers
People seem to be thinking too much about this film, but I found there was no need to think at all! It's not a film because it has no plot. The people we care about are already established and the others that appear in this are extras with too much screen time. It's like a really long deleted scene from a film, and most of it (while they're in the house, so 90% of it) could be shot in real time. I felt like I was watching an extended scene on the extras of one of The Conjuring films. It wouldn't be terrible as a cut scene, it's an enjoyable scene to feature as an extra, but as a movie it does feel very very extended!

The whole point is just to introduce you to a couple more needless baddies from the Warrens' room of haunted artefacts. That's it. We now know about the Ferryman (why the Ferryman, I don't get it) and the werewolf in Essex and some haunted bridal gown, all of which will inevitably return in another film. We still don't know anything about the samurai or the monkey or the piano and TV of evil(!), let alone why the board game has anything to do with anything, so I dunno why they bothered getting involved. Not even Annabelle held her own and if she was only just appearing in this movie for the first time she'd be totally forgettable alongside these other needless baddies.

Was the Ferryman really a case for the Warrens?? I thought he was just the dude who takes you to the other side when you die, I had no clue he was meant to be a baddie of any sort... Who gets haunted by the boatman that only gets called by you being dead and needing to ferry your soul to the afterlife (if someone's remembered to leave the fare on your eyes)? It's like being haunted by the Grim Reaper. It makes no sense.

(Final Destination is kind of like being haunted by the Grim Reaper, but those souls were meant to have been reaped and so he had been called to reap them, so that makes sense. The Ferryman has no business ferrying them what he has not been called to ferry, nor been paid to ferry. Weird!)
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