The Christmas Light (1995 Video)
1/10
Worst Thing I Have Ever Seen
24 February 2019
Warning: Spoilers
Title says it all. Sitting through the 22 minute run time of this poorly animated 90's cartoon was absolute agony, so much so that I had to take a break half way through and decided to stop my weekly bad movie binge entirely afterwards.

The film focuses around a "mischevious" elf Burton Lemon who tries to improve the old process of toy making in Santa's workshop (see sweatshop) which would save the other elves months of hard work and provide much better presents to all the children of the world.

Instead of encouraging this productivity and innovation, the other elves band together to torment and bully this elf; leaving him isolated in his own cold desolate laboratory.

Unfortunately for Burton he hasn't fixed all the kinks in his new printing machine and the toys have a habit of exploding for absolutely no reason.

After years of torment from other elves and Santa shutting down his project, Burton finally loses it. Unfortunately for him things go from bad to worse as he is involved in a terrible accident where he is disintegrated and reforms as the hero of the film 'The Snowman' in terminator esc fashion with the addition of a cool tophat.

What follows is a bewildering nosensical plot where Santa and Burton battle it out. Santa battles Burton using his spaceship which he uses to abuct a young girl called Jennifer along the way, who has something called 'The Christmas Light'. As far as I can tell this is the pure spirit of Christmas, something Santa weirdly doesn't possess.

It was lucky that Santa ran into this girl as she is able to talk down Santa from murdering Burton by using his spaceship's rockets in this KIDS film. Instead the child is able to sing Burton back to his original form. The fact that Santa had to think about this decision for a while shows what sort of person he is in this film!

Apparently the lesson Burton learnt from this experience was that he shouldn't show off and that Santa & Isaak the elf were really his friends, ya know the very people who bullied and tormented him. Terrible moral lesson for kids.

Overall bad writing, animation, sound design, terrible characters and incredibly boring. Also looks nothing like Toy Story!

If you are into very bad movies or for some reason have a soft spot for mid-90's animation then is film is highly recommended. For anyone else protect your own sanity.
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