Maybe I need to flip a coin, because I don't know which is worse; Giving 10 stars to promote the movie or giving 10 stars to save Tom Cruise's ego problems. Movies with pay-per-hype ratings are destroying the film industry by drowning their credibility. This franchise is a joke. Rating a movie before anyone has seen it is a dead giveaway. It's a repetitive, predictable, and has zero heart. This is an over-hyped, cliched, boring magic trick. 10 star reviews might trick people out of their cash, but it will also destroy careers and the industry creating bait & switch films.
Two years after the capture of a bad man; the remains of his organization reform into another all white terrorist group. Tom Cruise is given a mission to return stolen plutonium before they sell them to a "fundy". Tom recruits Ving Rhames & Simon Pegg for the mission. They fail when Tom chooses to save Ving's acting career over the lives of millions the plutonium will surely cause. They then decide to capture a nuclear weapons expert from a country that doesn't have a single nuclear power plant, because "Why not?"
CIA boss Angela Bassett instructs Mustached-Superman to secretly follow Tom Cruise while he tries to get the plutonium. But Tom easily recognizes Mustached-Superman without his Clark Kent glasses. Soon Tom and Mustached-Superman sneak into a fundraiser party for arms dealers together. They track a man they suspect is a "fundy", but that guy is killed by the Swedish lady from the other 'MI' movies (She was in 'Life' with Ryan Reynolds). Tom quickly puts on the same terrible make-up disguise he uses in the other movies (a beard, but not one he's married to) and he meets up with another Swedish actress - the woman from Netflix's 'The Crown'. Tom warns her that terrorists have been sent to kill her and they run. Mustached-Superman tells Angela Bassett that Tom Cruise has always been the "fundy" he's disguised as. I went to the bathroom, because I had a Big Gulp an hour ago.
Here's where it gets really dull and stupid: In order to get the plutonium, the woman from Netflix recruits Tom Cruise to rescue that same bad guy he captured two years ago (The guy from 'The Borgias' ... kinda looks like an old Prince Harry). Coincidentally (or lasily) enough; the bad guy is in a the back of an armored van convoy right there in the same city as Tom Cruise. The Netflix chick gives one of the plutoniums to Tom as a payment, so at least he's accomplished 1/8 of his original mission. It was about here I wondered where the hell did Ving Rhames & Simon Pegg go? Tom and Mustached-Superman do a bunch of unnecessary stuff that becomes a car chase through Paris. Ving & Simon reappear to save the Borgias bad guy. That first Swedish lady from before comes back (She was in 'Life' with Ryan Reynolds). She wants to kill Borgias to prove that she's loyal to the British CIA. But she doesn't, so I guess she's not. They rescue the bad guy and Netflix woman instructs the team to deliver the bad guy to London. I started looking at my watch wondering if it was ending - It was not.
In London, we learn that Alec Baldwin is the secretary of the Impossible Mission Force (IMF). Alec confronts Tom about being the "fundy". Tom denies it. Alec Baldwin gets knocked out. It ends and I don't know what the point was.
Tom, Ving & Simon trick Mustached-Superman into admitting he is the real "fundy". Apparently Mustached-Superman is working with Borgias guy and the terrorists. Let me try to explain this elaborate nonsense - They stole plutonium to get Tom Cruise branded as a nuclear terrorist. In reality Tom Cruise felt threatened by Mustached-Superman's goodlooks. Tom tells Angela Bassett, who instructs a United States team of agents to detain all of the United Kingdom agents. Tjhis movie is way too long. The CIA team has somehow been taken over by the terrorists and Mustached-Superman orders them to kill everyone. Mustached-Superman kills Alec Baldwin and escapes. Tom Cruise chases Mustached-Superman, but for all the running Tom does in everything he's in - he doesn't catch him. Mustached-Superman then threatens the life of one of Tom's estranged wives, Michelle Monaghan (She played Maggie in 'True Detective' - Oh, she did the voice of Wonder Woman in Justice League War' - neat).
The Tom Cruise Flunkies decide that the Borgias guy will detonate the two remaining nuclear weapons over a glacier and contaminate the water supply of China. With a third of its population affected, the Chinese will get mad and Borgias hopes Hollywood will stop using them to make their films overseas. Borgias activates the weapons and gives the detonator to Mustached-Superman. Tom Cruise pursues him in a helicopter, leaving Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, and Rebecca Ferguson (The nicer Swedish lady) to stay on the ground too watch Tom pressumably die in a helicopter, because that's how predictable the plot is. Ving Rhames and Wonder Woman find one bomb and poke it with a stick, but they are unable to defuse it. Rebecca Ferguson and Simon Pegg are also on the ground to worry about Tom when he eventually rams his helicopter into Mustached-Superman's invisible jet. They find the second weapon just as easily as Ving and Wonder found the other one, but they also capture the Borgias bad guy. It looks like the movie is rapping it up.
After a long waste of time ( as predicted) Tom Cruise crashes his helicopter into Mustached-Superman's aircraft. Both of them survive and start fighting on a cliff edge where Mustached-Superman is killed. It seems to me he could have just dies in the crash. Tom Cruise gets control of the detonator, allowing Ving Rhames, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, and Wonder Woman to deactivate the bombs, because that's how simple and basic nuclear weapons work. Angela Bassett hands the Borgias dude over to MI6 through the Swedish lady who gave Tom some plutonium, which somehow earns the other Swedish woman her exoneration. Tom Cruise recovers recovers from his injuries with the help of vitamins and exercise while Wonder Woman and the other cast join him in victory. The credits roll and there's a warning that noone will stop making these movies - especially in China.
Two years after the capture of a bad man; the remains of his organization reform into another all white terrorist group. Tom Cruise is given a mission to return stolen plutonium before they sell them to a "fundy". Tom recruits Ving Rhames & Simon Pegg for the mission. They fail when Tom chooses to save Ving's acting career over the lives of millions the plutonium will surely cause. They then decide to capture a nuclear weapons expert from a country that doesn't have a single nuclear power plant, because "Why not?"
CIA boss Angela Bassett instructs Mustached-Superman to secretly follow Tom Cruise while he tries to get the plutonium. But Tom easily recognizes Mustached-Superman without his Clark Kent glasses. Soon Tom and Mustached-Superman sneak into a fundraiser party for arms dealers together. They track a man they suspect is a "fundy", but that guy is killed by the Swedish lady from the other 'MI' movies (She was in 'Life' with Ryan Reynolds). Tom quickly puts on the same terrible make-up disguise he uses in the other movies (a beard, but not one he's married to) and he meets up with another Swedish actress - the woman from Netflix's 'The Crown'. Tom warns her that terrorists have been sent to kill her and they run. Mustached-Superman tells Angela Bassett that Tom Cruise has always been the "fundy" he's disguised as. I went to the bathroom, because I had a Big Gulp an hour ago.
Here's where it gets really dull and stupid: In order to get the plutonium, the woman from Netflix recruits Tom Cruise to rescue that same bad guy he captured two years ago (The guy from 'The Borgias' ... kinda looks like an old Prince Harry). Coincidentally (or lasily) enough; the bad guy is in a the back of an armored van convoy right there in the same city as Tom Cruise. The Netflix chick gives one of the plutoniums to Tom as a payment, so at least he's accomplished 1/8 of his original mission. It was about here I wondered where the hell did Ving Rhames & Simon Pegg go? Tom and Mustached-Superman do a bunch of unnecessary stuff that becomes a car chase through Paris. Ving & Simon reappear to save the Borgias bad guy. That first Swedish lady from before comes back (She was in 'Life' with Ryan Reynolds). She wants to kill Borgias to prove that she's loyal to the British CIA. But she doesn't, so I guess she's not. They rescue the bad guy and Netflix woman instructs the team to deliver the bad guy to London. I started looking at my watch wondering if it was ending - It was not.
In London, we learn that Alec Baldwin is the secretary of the Impossible Mission Force (IMF). Alec confronts Tom about being the "fundy". Tom denies it. Alec Baldwin gets knocked out. It ends and I don't know what the point was.
Tom, Ving & Simon trick Mustached-Superman into admitting he is the real "fundy". Apparently Mustached-Superman is working with Borgias guy and the terrorists. Let me try to explain this elaborate nonsense - They stole plutonium to get Tom Cruise branded as a nuclear terrorist. In reality Tom Cruise felt threatened by Mustached-Superman's goodlooks. Tom tells Angela Bassett, who instructs a United States team of agents to detain all of the United Kingdom agents. Tjhis movie is way too long. The CIA team has somehow been taken over by the terrorists and Mustached-Superman orders them to kill everyone. Mustached-Superman kills Alec Baldwin and escapes. Tom Cruise chases Mustached-Superman, but for all the running Tom does in everything he's in - he doesn't catch him. Mustached-Superman then threatens the life of one of Tom's estranged wives, Michelle Monaghan (She played Maggie in 'True Detective' - Oh, she did the voice of Wonder Woman in Justice League War' - neat).
The Tom Cruise Flunkies decide that the Borgias guy will detonate the two remaining nuclear weapons over a glacier and contaminate the water supply of China. With a third of its population affected, the Chinese will get mad and Borgias hopes Hollywood will stop using them to make their films overseas. Borgias activates the weapons and gives the detonator to Mustached-Superman. Tom Cruise pursues him in a helicopter, leaving Ving Rhames, Simon Pegg, and Rebecca Ferguson (The nicer Swedish lady) to stay on the ground too watch Tom pressumably die in a helicopter, because that's how predictable the plot is. Ving Rhames and Wonder Woman find one bomb and poke it with a stick, but they are unable to defuse it. Rebecca Ferguson and Simon Pegg are also on the ground to worry about Tom when he eventually rams his helicopter into Mustached-Superman's invisible jet. They find the second weapon just as easily as Ving and Wonder found the other one, but they also capture the Borgias bad guy. It looks like the movie is rapping it up.
After a long waste of time ( as predicted) Tom Cruise crashes his helicopter into Mustached-Superman's aircraft. Both of them survive and start fighting on a cliff edge where Mustached-Superman is killed. It seems to me he could have just dies in the crash. Tom Cruise gets control of the detonator, allowing Ving Rhames, Rebecca Ferguson, Simon Pegg, and Wonder Woman to deactivate the bombs, because that's how simple and basic nuclear weapons work. Angela Bassett hands the Borgias dude over to MI6 through the Swedish lady who gave Tom some plutonium, which somehow earns the other Swedish woman her exoneration. Tom Cruise recovers recovers from his injuries with the help of vitamins and exercise while Wonder Woman and the other cast join him in victory. The credits roll and there's a warning that noone will stop making these movies - especially in China.