Crosstrap (1962)
3/10
Oh the Payne...
7 August 2018
Warning: Spoilers
Thought to be a lost film for a good few decades, this apparently acquired an underground reputation as a minor gem of 1960s' British cinema, but now it has been re-discovered and made available, it appears as though its 'sight unseen' reputation has evaporated. An ASDA Smart Price reworking of Key Largo, it's the tale of a happily honeymooning couple who run into trouble when they fetch up at the same rural cottage a group of thugs are using for a hideout, and it's pretty bloody awful. Various characters stagger around in the dark being shot at over a stash of cash, the smoking hot Zena 'Dr. No' Marshall's gangster's moll somehow loses the attention of her meal ticket to the chunkier Jill Adams, lots of slaps look like they really hurt, Bill Nagy annoys so much you can't wait for him to die, and finally a plane blows up.

Crosstrap was directed by Robert Hartford-Davis, and has a body count comparable to that of the Peter Cushing death-fest Corruption (1968), even though it's nothing like as explicit. And Laurence 'Vampire Circus' Payne is amusingly miscast, as his eyebrow-raising playboy routine transposed onto a crime boss-cum-sex pest called Duke ends up feeling like a 'dark side of the moon' version of Roger Moore, which is just as weirdly off-balance as it sounds.
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