3/10
A supposed horror, but as wooden as the dolls themselves.
10 July 2018
Warning: Spoilers
It is hard to believe that this movie dates from 2017, it could as easily have been a product form the sixties or even pre war! It is supposed to be a horror movie and a nowadays horror movie should at least have an adequate pace, some decent scares and convincing CGI. Not so here. The pace of this movie is slower than slow, it is as if all the actors are sleep-walking, while pronouncing their elaborate and endless dialogues as distinct as if they are speakers on some congress to an audience that's fighting to stay awake. The whole sequence of the Nazi officers visiting and searching the house of the poor farmers family lasts over half an hour, not because there is so much to do or show, but just because the head Nazi takes forever and ever in explaining and justify his actions. I suppose the director aimed at some chilling effect, but the contrary is the case: after 10 minutes you just think: My god, DO something, go away, kill them, but DO something!!! When the shots finally fall, it's almost a relief.

And this dreadful boring mode goes on throughout the whole movie. Were the farmer and his wife already the epitome of mono-syllabic bores, the real main character (the Toymaker) is even worse. He drawls his endless lines infinitely, moves as a zombie and by the way wears the worst fake bald-head cap that I've seen for a long time.

To top all this, the dolls - who of course should be the horrifying centers of this movie - are duller and dummer than I've seen in a long time. They are supposed to have come to life by way of an occult spell, but they do not change one bit in their appearance, they hardly move at all, we just see their wooden arms lift a tiny bit and come down again. Wow, it really made me cringe, but not from fear! When they in the end murder the treacherous help and the Nazi officer, they do this so clumsily and slow (you can almost feel how someone outside the camera tries to move their wooden limbs about), that it's a miracle why the assaulted (one of them a well-trained military, one may presume!) don't just crawl away out of reach of these preposterous little arms.

Maybe I missed some deeper meaning, and I do acknowledge the nice atmosphere and photography, but that was about all. It's beyond me who the makers thought to please with this supposed horror movie without even the slightest scare or horror or even a tiny anxiety or thrill. However, I did sleep very well afterwards, so it did serve at least one purpose!
10 out of 13 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

Recently Viewed