BoJack Horseman: Say Anything (2014)
Season 1, Episode 7
8/10
At last: a Princess Carolyn episode
28 June 2018
Warning: Spoilers
(This review contains spoilers not only of the episode being reviewed, but of subsequent episodes and seasons as well.)

For my money, "BoJack Horseman"'s title character is its most interesting, with Diane second, but there's no question that Princess Carolyn rounds out the top three, and it's in this episode that she really comes into her own.

The central tension in Princess Carolyn's character is her desire to "have it all": she wants to be an extremely successful career woman, while also being a fully present wife and mother (to her as-yet non-existent family). The general pattern is that she succeeds at the first objective while making no progress towards the second, with the realization of the latter fact leading her to bury herself in work, becoming ever more successful.

At the intersection of her two objectives is BoJack Horseman, a client who adds nothing to her professional life, and a sometime lover ("kind of a weird word" though it might be) who actively detracts from her personal life. It is through the lens of BoJack that "Say Anything" views Princess Carolyn's tension.

Princess Carolyn, remarkably, finds BoJack a job. He blows it off to come to her office and profess his love for her. She tells him that she can't be his agent and his girlfriend, so he fires her as his agent. She is infuriated, despite the fact that she has lost a worthless client. She is offended when BoJack's new agent, Vanessa Gecko ("that slippery, slimy, cold-blooded, bug-eyed..." fumes Princess Carolyn, before the amusing reveal that Gecko is a human), shreds his contract to prove her devotion to another client. When her boss, Mr. Witherspoon (Stephen Colbert, in the beginning of what will be a standout two-episode guesting turn), proposes jettisoning him as a client, Princess Carolyn defends him.

On all matters not BoJack-related, she shows shrewd professional judgment. She outsmarts Vanessa Gecko by enticing Cameron Crowe (actually a raven - common misconception) to turn Cate Blanchett's favourite book into a movie, and luring her away from Gecko's project to star. This frees Quentin Tarantulino, whom Gecko had tapped to direct her film, to make a movie about Mr. Peanutbutter's theft of the Hollywood D, with a starring role for...BoJack Horseman.

Princess Carolyn is, as it turns out, extremely good at her job. And yet she devotes her talents to trying to revive the career of BoJack Horseman, who neither particularly wants nor deserves to have his career revived.

("What's that?" asks Princess Carolyn of the unseen Hollywoo mogul on the other end of the line, to whom she is pitching the chance to work with BoJack, "You hate his guts? What's that? He's a talentless boob? What's that? You'll never work with BoJack again? What's that? You want him to die in an ass factory warehouse fire, smothered to death under a pile of burning asses? Well, if you change your mind, give me a call.")

As much as her efforts at building her career are wasted on BoJack, her efforts at building a personal life are still more so. BoJack has decided, in the wake of Diane's engagement to Mr. Peanutbutter, that he is in love with Princess Carolyn. Princess Carolyn, astutely, points out "You're not in love with me; you're in love with Diane. And you're not even really in love with her - you just think you are because you pay her to listen to you talk about yourself." She also points out that his realization that she is "the best thing that ever happened to him" has been triggered by assorted past crises as well, including BoJack not getting nominated for a People's Choice award, BoJack getting caught with a pound of cocaine, BoJack impregnating a prostitute, and BoJack sneezing on Marisa Tomei.

And yet, she lets herself fall for him again, and to get excited about the possibility of building a life with him, even at the expense of her career. And BoJack gets a call from Herb Kazzaz, which throws him into a typical spiral of self-loathing, and causes him to lose all interest in his career. Again. Mr. Peanutbutter and Diane are completely absent from this episode, and are not missed thanks to the great work done with Princess Carolyn and, to a lesser extent, BoJack. Even the Todd Adventure, in which Todd becomes the pitchman for a German Bourbon, is connected to Princess Carolyn (she's his agent too, after all).

As noted, this episode sees the beginning of Mr. Witherspoon. It's also the first appearance of his son, Charlie Witherspoon, and the first real appearance of J. K. Simmons' Lenny Turtletaub (a brief appearance in the pilot doesn't count). All three are welcome additions to the recurring cast. It's also the first appearance of the tongue-twisters that will become almost too common by season 4. It brings the blackmail storyline to an abrupt end (making us wonder why it was introduced in the first place...but the show deserves credit for cutting bait on it). Most significantly of all, it's the first episode to end with a real urethra-kick, as it's revealed that the day's events have taken place on Princess Carolyn's fortieth birthday, which she ends alone.

This episode successfully delves into the co-dependency between BoJack and Princess Carolyn, setting the show up for the outstanding season 3 episode "The Best Thing That Ever Happened" (whose title is taken from BoJack's words in this episode) and the season 4 finale "What Time Is It Right Now". Coming after a lacklustre opening half-season, "Say Anything" is "BoJack Horseman" putting its foot on the gas. It will seldom lift it.

*********************

Best animal-based visual gags: One of the blackmailers (a bird) trying to fly through Princess Carolyn's office window to escape. Honourable mention to the "Planned Parrothood" poster in the abortion clinic in the flashback.

Best running joke: Lenny Turtletaub's recurring "As I once said to (a young Ed Begley Sr./a young Buster Keaton/a young Lionel Berrymore/Ed Porter at the premiere of "The Great Train Robbery)...". Honourable mention to BoJack's "...she's gone" in the midst of making what he believes to be seductive comments to Princess Carolyn as she's leaving the room.

Best gag that could contend for either "Best animal-based visual gag" or "Best running joke": the celebrity photos on the bulletin board behind Charlie Witherspoon, including "John Ham" and "Christina Hendricks" (a hen).

Best cameo by a character from another episode: The cheetah and the sloth from the treadmills next to Princess Carolyn's make an encore appearance.
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