There will likely never be a 'film' that sabotages any attempt at a story by thrusting promotional material at the audience instead of plot, or by randomly cutting away to bland filler, to quite the extent this film does. And in case you're wondering, I have seen both The Emoji Movie and The Star Wars Holiday Special. Those films have major flaws, but this one doubles down on all of them.
This was made by a company specialising in parade balloons, in some vain attempt to promote their product, or maybe in a last ditch effort to fight off bankruptcy, who knows? There are no credits in this thing. I'm guessing it's the former, because one third of the way through, any attempt at a plot ceases to exist, and we are 'treated' to a home-video of a balloon parade with a drunk commentator dubbed over, in some cases exceptionally badly. You can tell she's drunk and not just incompetent, after all, when the parade ends the film starts reusing footage from the warehouse and parade with her slurring jokes over the top of it for another five minutes!
While the initial part lasts, for all of 15 minutes out of the total 52 (that means this film is about 1/4 plot-based, 3/4 drunk commentary, then a couple of repetitions of a poorly written theme song), we see a small child wander through a poorly made film-set, something we are reminded of by the stage-hand caught in the centre of it during one shot, and the edge of the set being clearly visible at times. This set is filled with ugly balloons of all shapes and sizes, but usually different shapes and sizes to the ones they're meant to be. Various, unrelated scenarios play out, from under the sea to the American old west, just don't ask what anyone is saying because it was all recorded on one microphone in an echoey warehouse. This goes on for some time, with the occasional intermission for a dance number, until the screen suddenly cuts to black, because it's time for the parade.
Basically everything about this is awful. If you're going to watch it to laugh at it, get a couple of friends around and make a game of mocking it. This is a slow and painful watch, more so that The Star Wars Holiday Special, despite being half the run-time.
This was made by a company specialising in parade balloons, in some vain attempt to promote their product, or maybe in a last ditch effort to fight off bankruptcy, who knows? There are no credits in this thing. I'm guessing it's the former, because one third of the way through, any attempt at a plot ceases to exist, and we are 'treated' to a home-video of a balloon parade with a drunk commentator dubbed over, in some cases exceptionally badly. You can tell she's drunk and not just incompetent, after all, when the parade ends the film starts reusing footage from the warehouse and parade with her slurring jokes over the top of it for another five minutes!
While the initial part lasts, for all of 15 minutes out of the total 52 (that means this film is about 1/4 plot-based, 3/4 drunk commentary, then a couple of repetitions of a poorly written theme song), we see a small child wander through a poorly made film-set, something we are reminded of by the stage-hand caught in the centre of it during one shot, and the edge of the set being clearly visible at times. This set is filled with ugly balloons of all shapes and sizes, but usually different shapes and sizes to the ones they're meant to be. Various, unrelated scenarios play out, from under the sea to the American old west, just don't ask what anyone is saying because it was all recorded on one microphone in an echoey warehouse. This goes on for some time, with the occasional intermission for a dance number, until the screen suddenly cuts to black, because it's time for the parade.
Basically everything about this is awful. If you're going to watch it to laugh at it, get a couple of friends around and make a game of mocking it. This is a slow and painful watch, more so that The Star Wars Holiday Special, despite being half the run-time.