5/10
Vampire business as usual
24 January 2018
Notable actors: Walter Brandi! Crap director Luigi Batzella!

While running away from an angry torch and pitchfork wielding mob, our vampire shows his true colours by ditching the vampire lady he was with an saving his own arse. The lady of course gets a couple of pitchforks stuck in her for her trouble, while the vampire takes a carriage to a nearby castle and gets the driver to help him hide his coffin in the basement.

Back in the nineteenth century one of the greatest causes of marriage failure was vampire intrusion, and this jerk starts on this newlywed couple right away by diving out of his wine cellar coffin and crashing their wedding party. He then starts dancing with the blushing bride, putting the moves on her and generally acting like a twat before heading to her room later and giving her a rather extreme love bite. This happens almost right away and while I was impressed that he was much more efficient than the crap vampire in Vampire of the Opera, it leaves an awful lot of room in the film for people to jaw about what's happening.

There's not really much scope beyond the 'guy whose girlfriend has been turned in a vampire' routine, so I kind of kept losing interest in this one. The girl gets sick, the guy goes looking for help, girl dies, comes back as a vampire, yadda yadda. Everything is carried out well enough, but sometimes that means that the film becomes mediocre due to the lack of craziness or random dance routines or stripteases.

I suppose things picked up a little in the end what with the caretaker's family getting targeted by the vampires, but there's very little to make this one stand out. Next!
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