tadpole-596-918256 Review of Railroadin'

Railroadin' (1929)

Anyone who's been to what passes for a "major city" in . . .

[6/10 · 22 November 2017]

. . . Canadia knows that the urban sidewalks there are clogged with legless men strapped down to some sort of mini-skate boards, selling pencils to passersby in their desperate attempt to survive. How can this be, one wonders, when Canadia has fought in few (if any) wars. As we concluded in our analysis of SMALL TALK--which featured the same deplorable urchins running amok as here during RAILROADIN'--these low-budget shorts bear all the hallmarks of most of the perverse Canadia film offensives. RAILROADIN' begins with SMALL TALK's Orphan Joe suddenly calling an old geezer "Pops," since NAMBLA no doubt originated in Canadia. Then another pervert barges in on two young boys (probably Roy Moore's daddy, before he got deported to Alabama, which serves as Canadia's version of Guantanamo Bay). Chester the Molester starts a train locomotive with these boys aboard--then jumps off, abandoning them! Following this, the Racist Canadiayapper filmmakers run over the only Black kid in sight 18 times with the Runaway Choo-Choo! "Farina" emerges from this sadistic ordeal unscathed (so the diabolical movie crew then eggs him in the face--twice!!). "Inspired" by RAILROADIN', generations of Canadiayapper Youth have tried to ape Farina's Railroad Peril, resulting in all of Canadia's urban centers being choked with double amputee panhandlers selling pencils. (And these unfortunates are considered "the lucky ones" in their Homeland!)