Tour de Pharmacy (2017 TV Movie)
3/10
HBO is having some real quality control issues
31 July 2017
I would like to start with the statement that I'm a real cycling fan since about my childhood and I also love mockumentaries, which I think is a real undervalued genre, when it comes to quality entertainment. So when I noticed that HBO has this thing coming out, I was really interested, because I hoped they can make a short movie that offends me heavily and does it in a way I enjoy so much.

But unfortunately it didn't offend me at all. Nor was it a mockumentary. I would classify it as a collection of overused trash jokes hidden under the disguise of a low-cost TV parody about cyclists. Yet I'm giving it points, because still there were things I honored: +1 for the Pantani figure. That one I liked, even though I was a huge Pantani fan back in the days - but that's what I wanted to see from such a production! I hope if someone decides to make an actual mockumentary about the cycling world, will invite Orlando Bloom to cover that role. I hand out 1 star for the vintage dress designs. Hey, I appreciate the details paid to them... And 1 more for the homoerotic reference. Though I'm not sure that was intentional towards cycling - in that case it goes for the "Once Upon a Time...Life" reference (the french educational about how human body works).

Sadly, that's all. Everything else that can be said about this shorty is only negative. I just don't understand how they managed to make such a horrible TV movie about this topic, cycling and doping seems like the perfect mixture of a mockumentary. Strange subculture of people who steered far from everyday reality - mocking them made the great ones like Best in Show or This is Spinal Tap. But here the script and directing didn't even seemed to want to offend them, it's just a selfish 41 minutes of VHS-style effects (I know it made Kung Fury look cool, but I see no reason why it could work here), celebrities whom's management wants a bit more spotlight, penises, annoyingly amateurish background actors and an avalanche of other low-cost and off-topic clichés.

Still, I wouldn't give it such a bad rating if it were from some random American junk channel, but as for HBO - that's below expectations by a mile.
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